Psycho
by Charles Obscure
Summary: They told seventeen year-old Edward that the voices in his head weren't real. But he knew better. They weren't just voices; they were the thoughts of others. But who has room in their life for a freak? Will he ever find normality? Love? AH OOC SMUT ExB
1. Party Favors

A/N: This is my first Twilight fan fiction. It's a little different but believe me, you'll like it. I'm a total review whore. So bring 'em on.

Not my characters. All Stephanie Meyer's.

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White walls. White floor. White door. White pillow case.

Sterile.

Everything about this goddamn place screamed sterility. This was the last fucking place I wanted to be. But what was I to do? Ignore all the signs? Tell everyone I'm fine when they clearly disagree?

_I'm not fucking crazy..._

It'd been my mantra for awhile.

Truth is, I'd been hearing voices in my head for sometime now. For several months, in fact. I just hid it well. Now they tell me that I'm a Bipolar schizophrenic; a seriously disturbed individual. And truth be told, I was, in fact, disturbed. I was _extremely fucking disturbed_.

But they refused to listen to me. I knew I wasn't crazy, just a freak. Because those voices had absolutely nothing to do with my past truamas or some bullshit, but the voices were _real_. The difficult thing is, that these very real voices were only audible to me. But they were definatly fucking real.

I had to admit, when the voices first became known, I _did _think I was crazy.

But that day had started out just like any other. I'd woken up in my room, sun shining through that damn glass wall and directly into my clouded eyes. Just like every morning. I rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a loud crash, over-estimating the size of my bed. Just like every morning. I quickly got dressed - I believe it was my faded blue jeans, white t-shirt and green zip-up hoodie with a splash of printed design - brushed my teeth and tousled my auburn hair so that it was just the way I liked it. Just like every morning. I was late for school already so I rushed out the door, car keys in hand and a Pop Tart hanging from between my teeth. Just like every morning. And finally, I jumped into my beloved Volvo, sped out of the drive way and lit a Marlboro the second I was out of sight from the giant white house. Just like I did _every goddamn morning_. There was nothing unusual or out of place. Honestly, the only thing that had changed recently was me kicking the others out of my car, forcing them to take Rosalie's BMW. This was purely because my smoking habit had become a full-blown addiction and while I tried to pretend that I didn't give a damn about what anyone else thought, I couldn't bear to see the look on Esme's face when one of the others narced me out for my smoking.

The ride to school that day was quick. I was pushing 105 mph on the forgotten country back roads. I had barely finished my cigarette as I entered the parking lot of Forks High School. God I fucking hated that place. I stepped out, noticing the red convertable already parked and emptied. I scowled at the English building I was going to enter as the bell rang. I grabbed my book bag off the passenger seat, slung it over my shoulder and slowly walked to class, delaying the coming torture. Shit, I was already late, no use in trying to hurry.

I walked through the door of the classroom. Everyone used to look up to see who was walking through the door but now no one so much as glanced in my direction. I was late everyday. They knew who the fuck was walking through the door. I took my seat in the back, only half-listening to the teacher as he lectured us on... something English-y. And that was pretty much how my day went. Nothing exciting. Nothing new. Just the same old tedium that I drifted along in every single day. And it wasn't just me. None of the others said a thing. We just sat at our lunch table, eating in silence as usual. Just the four of us. Em, Rose, Jazz and myself.

The fucking pariahs of Forks High School.

Go Spartans.

After school, I quickly ran out to the parking lot, anxious to fuel my nicotine addiction. "Hey! Edward! Wait up!" someone called after me. I knew the voice. I whirled around to see Jasper jogging to catch up with me.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Okay, so I know you fucking hate her and all but Tanya is hav-"

"No." I said in a rough tone. I didn't want to hear a damn thing about that stupid bitch.

"Come on, man. You know she feels horrible and she just wants to talk. Quit being such a fucking douche."

"No."

"Please? Come on, just come to this party she's having. It's out on Stoner Road and there's gonna be a hundred hot bitches there."

"No! No, no, no and fucking NO! Alright? I'm not fucking talking to her so you can just go to her little gay-ass party on Stoner Road and tell her to quit fucking stalking me, okay? Damn..." I flung open the driver's side door of the Volvo, nearly hitting the shitty late 80's Toyota next to me. Why would Jasper even _consider _asking me to go anywhere Tanya would be? Tanya, my first real girlfriend. Tanya, the only girl I would've done anything for. Tanya, my muse and my demise. I told her everything and she just... fucked me over. Not only did she run her mouth to someone else but as it turns out, she was also fucking that someone else. I still didn't know who. That was probably a good thing. I might've commited a murder had I known who the fucker was, whose name she was sighing, whose dick she was sucking. The guy in question didn't have a face to me and yet just the thought of her being with him made me feel like my chest was being slowly ripped apart.

"Dude, atleast go to this party so you can tell her yourself. Gettin' that shit off your chest would probably make you a little less angsty." Jasper was right. He was always fucking right. But it was still hard taking any kind of girl advice from him since he'd never really been in love. I didn't honestly think Jasper was ready for love. But it didn't change the fact that he was right. I calmed down a bit and looked at the ground.

"Yeah, okay." I could never actually man-up enough to say 'Yes Jasper, you fucking prick, you're right.' I hated how he was always right. "But I'm gettin' shitfaced." I added as I climbed into the car.

"Well, that makes two of us." Jasper said as he got into the passenger seat and closed the door. I turned to him incredulously.

"What the fuck, Hale? Go ride with your sister." Jasper rolled his eyes at me and started fishing around in the pocket of his beige coat. He pulled out a pack of Newports and a black BIC light and lit one for himself. My face changed to a look of astonishment, my eyes growing wide.

"Oh _please_, Edward. We all know why you don't let us ride with you anymore. And I can smell smoke on you all the time. By the way," he added with a grin. "I smoke, too. Don't tell Esme."

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Stoner Road is a little dirt road that follows along the Bogachiel River and into the forest until it ends at a somewhat large dirt clearing, probably big enough to hold twenty or so cars. No one really knows why it was made but it quickly became a favorite parking place for potheads, earning it the nickname "Stoner Road" and Jazz and I were now traveling down it. We probably would've been able to hear the babbling of the river perpendicular to us had Jazz not been blaring the metalcore. He did this annoying little headbang thing, his blonde hair a blur as he shook it and mouthing the screaming lyrics. What a fucking nerd. It probably would've been funny, had I not found it absolutely irritating. And I was desperate for the kid to not be such a damn nerd all of the time. Did he ever want to get laid? Yes, yes he did. The way he'd stare at girls asses as he walked behind them in the hallways made it painfully obvious.

Truth was, Jazz was one of my best friends, my other best friend being Emmett, and I liked having him around because despite the fact that he only had two moods (nerdy and asshole-y) he was entertaining. He never failed to put me in a good mood and talk me out of stupid shit. Honestly, Jazz kinda quietly fueled my very rarely seen feminine side. Em, on the other hand, was good for anything testosterone fueled. If I wanted to fight someone at random, he was game. If I wanted to drink beers and talk about cars and bitches, he was also game. And it's a damn good thing Jasper and I had him around. He kept us from growing vaginas.

When we started seeing drunk kids in the bushes making out, we knew we were there. We parked behind a flamboyant looking yellow car and made our way towards the large group of kids that surronded a quaint bonfire. I recognized most of the kids from school. Those that I didn't recognize were probably kids from Taholah or Quileute rezervation. I heard Emmett's drunken booming laugh and I spotted him from across the fire. I figured he had some alcohol or _something _to get me fucked up.

"Hey, Em! Where's the booze at, ya dumb shit?" I called.

"Edward? Hey, Edward! Get over here! Ya got Jazz with ya?"

I walked around the fire to Emmett. He was lounging in a chair that I recognized from one of the many Cullen family camping trips with a beer in one hand and an unfortunate looking marshmallow on a skewer being stuck into the fire with the other hand. Rosalie sat next to Emmett in another chair with some kind of fruity bitch drink in the cup holder. Even with her violet-blue eyes glazed and drunken, she still had an air and posture that suggested both boredom and superiority. She was currently scowling at a hot dog that she had stuck onto the end of a skewer and held above the flames. Emmett smiled up at us with a big stupid grin and reached into a red cooler next to him, producing two beers and handing one each to Jasper and me. I cracked mine open, chugged it, threw the empty can to the ground and grabbed another one from the cooler.

"Good, good! Jasper's with you. Hey Jazz, hey buddy, there's someone I want you to meet..." Uh oh. Emmett's feeble attempts to boost Jasper's love life always ended very fucking badly. Emmett grabbed Rosalie by the arm and turned to Jasper. "Jasper, this is Rita. Rita, Jasper." Rose whipped her head towards Emmett and wore a look of shock and anger and _Oh my God, she's going to fucking kill him_. I stiffled a laugh. There's no way in hell that Emmett was this drunk. But apparently, he was. "So Jazz, what'dya think?" Jasper was trying not to laugh himself.

"Dude, that's my fucking sister!" Jasper said.

"I'm your fucking girlfriend!" Rose yelled at Emmett. She sat up abruptly, chucked her hot dog into the dirt and stalked of. She came back a second later to retrieve her fruity bitch drink and dissapeared again. I turned to Emmett, who abruptly burst into fits of laughter, his hazel eyes filling with tears.

"Whoops!" he said once he caught his breath. "I meant this girl right here." He turned to his right but there was no one there. "Oh wait, there she is." He pointed to a girl who was a few paces away, standing next to a tree with a beer in hand, gazing into the fire and bobbing her head to the music. She had long, thick brown hair and brown eyes that were nearly black. Her lashes were thick and her lips were full. Her body was voluptuous and sexy. She was dark, maybe Mexican or Puerto Rican or some shit. She wasn't familiar. She probably went to Taholah High School or Neah Bay. She was sexy enough that I was sure Jasper was going to flounder around helplessly. "Hey, Rita!" Emmett called. The girl looked and smiled turning her gaze to Emmett. She trotted over real fast and took Rosalie's empty seat. It was real fucking obvious that she was happy with Rose's absence. Em intoduced Jasper and I before sitting up real quick and walking away, grabbing me by the arm. I turned my head before leaving, seeing a very unhappy looking Rita and an extremely nervous looking Jasper taking Emmett's chair. "Damnit Edward, I'm gettin' that kid laid if it's the last thing I do." Emmett said once we were away. I looked at my brother and I had to laugh. Jasper's growing libido mattered to him more than it did to Jasper himself. I completely understood. Jasper's room was right next to Emmetts so Em had heard Jazz's "nightly ritual" enough to make Jasper having sex a top priority. Once we were away, we did our usual party routine: scoping out the tits and ass from a distant corner. Emmett couldn't seriously look because he had Rose and I honestly didn't give a fuck about women right now. I hated the whole lot of them.

Just then, I saw her. Strawberry blonde curls bouncing, cheeks flushed with pink and sparkling blue eyes. Body like a damn Victoria's Secret model. A body that I used to kiss, used to hold and touch, among other things... Even after all the bullshit she put me through, I still melted at the sight of her. I cracked open my second beer, chugged it and threw the can to the ground like I did with the previous one.

"Damnit..." I said. "I should've grabbed more beers. I seriously need to get fucked up."

Emmett grinned. "I know how to get cheya fucked up. But you have to come with me."

"Umm... okay?" I was wondering what the hell he was talking about.

"But first," he pulled something off his belt buckle and I realized it was a flask. He handed it to me. "You need this more than I do." I unscrewed the cap and took a large swig without questioning it. Blech. It was fucking vodka. Tasted like goddamn hairspray but I continued drinking it. I grabbed the beer that Emmett still held to chase that god awful taste out of my mouth.

"Okay, so you said I have to come with you?" I asked, preparing to take another swig. Emmett grabbed my arm and began pulling into the woods. I took one last longing look at Tanya before she was obscured by trees and dark. After a second of walking, I began to smell something. It smelled like... like burning leaves, except better. I smiled into the dark forest. I knew that smell.

We came into a tiny clearing about 10 feet around. I could just make out four shapes sitting in a circle on the ground. The smell was stronger here.

"Emmett?" one of the shapes asked in a rough, deep voice.

"Yeah, it's me. And I brought my brother. Hope that's okay." There was some whispering and then the voice spoke again.

"Sure, that's fine. Sit down. Stay awhile." Emmett and I sat. I didn't fucking like this. I didn't like that I couldn't see who the hell I was sitting with but the fact that the smell of weed hung in the air put me at ease, somewhat. They must be peaceful people. Then a lighter flicked as someone hit a pipe and I saw the face of the guy who I assumed to be the one who spoke to us. He was definatly Quileute. Long black hair and a hard face, but he couldn't have been older than twenty-two or twenty-three. Emmett was on the guy's right so he passed the pipe to him. As Emmett took a hit, the Quileute guy blew out smoke.

"Let's go around the circle everybody. I'm Sam." he said. Emmett passed the pipe to me and exhaled. He began coughing like all hell.

"Emmett." he managed to say between coughs. It appeared that we were supposed to hit the pipe and then say our names. So I hit it.

The smoke hit my lungs like nothing else. I tried to inhale more against the pain. Deeper and deeper until I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled the pipe away from my mouth and passed it to the person next to me. I held it in as long as humanly possibly before I started choking. The smoke came out in a huge burst and I thought I was going to cough up a fucking lung. "I'm" *cough* "Edward." The pipe continued the rest of the way around the circle of six. The kid next to me was name Jared and the guy next to him named Paul. In between Sam and Paul was a pretty Quileute girl named Leah who I guessed was Sam's girl. After the bowl was gone, we smoked another, and another, and another. I was fucking ripped. I mean _fucking higher than a mother fucker_. I continuously took swigs of vodka from Emmett's flask. I layed on my back with my arms behind my head and watched the stars. I watched the stars and thought about life.

I thought about every fucking thing. I thought about how maybe Forks wasn't so bad. I thought about the five other people sitting around me, laughing and talking. I thought about poor Jasper and that Rita girl sitting back by the fire, probably not saying a word to each other. And I thought about Tanya, even though I really didn't want to. I thought about how pathetic I'd be if I went back to the party, grabbed her by the hand, took her to my Volvo and fucked the shit out of her in the backseat, just like we used to do. Just one last time. So fucking pathetic and yet, so fucking tempting. I wanted to kiss those full lips once more, feel the soft skin of her neck and chest with my tongue once more. I wanted to make her whimper my name one more time. The way she whispered it into my ear when she'd cum was intoxicating. I wanted to hear, had to hear it. I was lost in the memory of it when Emmett shook my shoulder.

"Hey, Edward, you want one?" he asked. I was abrupty pulled out of my memory. I thought it was pretty fucking rude until I realized what was going on.

It was hard to see in the dark but Emmett held out three small pills to me in his right hand. I sat up to see what they were. I got a sudden headrush. Yes, on top of my high I was definatly fucking drunk. I groped around the pockets of my hoodie until I found my lighter. I flicked it on over Emmett's hand and examined the pills. They were small and blue with a little line running down the center. Without question, I grabbed all three, tossed them in my mouth and washed it down with the fucking digusting vodka. There was silence for a moment. And then Emmett spoke.

"What the fuck, Edward? You were only supposed to take one! Do you even know what the fuck that was?!?!"

I was honest. "Umm... no?"

Jared spoke then. "Keep an eye on him. Don't let him drink too much. Those were pretty fucking strong. This could be bad. I mean really, really fucking bad." I started to panic.

"What the fuck did I just take?" I yelled. What was going to happen to me? Then the girl, Leah, spoke.

"You should make him drink some water, but not too much or he'll get over-hydrated. And get him to start moving around in about half an hour."

Now Paul spoke. "Make sure he eats a good breakfast, no matter how un-hungry he says he is." Emmett was absorbing the information. Why the fuck weren't they telling me what I'd just taken? Shouldn't I know? I didn't even realize until then that I was shaking. Only Sam remained silent.

Emmett stood up suddenly and pulled me up with him to drag me back to the larger group. He was pulling me along for a couple minutes and I just fucking snapped.

"Emmett! What the fuck?! What the hell am I on?! Am I gonna fucking die?! WHAT THE FUCK?!" I yelled.

"Shhhhh! Look man, you just took three pills of Ecstacy. If you just calm the fuck down you'll be fine!"

"You're fucking drunk! How the fuck are you gonna watch me when you can hardly walk?!"

"Edward?" a female voice called out.

_Tanya_.

She was running towards me, concern apparent in her eyes even in the dim light. "Edward, what's going on? Can we talk?"

"Not now, Tanya!" I yelled. But as my gaze met hers, I couldn't be pissed. No matter how much I fucking hated that bitch, she was my first love, my only love. I grabbed her hand. "Tanya, I don't know what's going to happen. I just took three pills of fucking ecstacy and..." I broke off. I was fucked. Royally fucked. I pointed a finger to Emmett. "He's way too fucking hammered to keep an eye on me."

Tanya grimaced and turned to Emmett. "Look Em, you really pissed Rose off earlier. I think you should go find her. I'll take care of Edward." And when she said it, I knew she would. Emmett and Tanya stared at each other for a second before he nodded and headed towards the group. After Emmett left, Tanya turned back to me. We just fucking looked at each other in silence for a moment, absorbing each other's prescence. Then, after a moment, Tanya spoke.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I shrugged. "It doesn't really matter now."

"You're not accepting my apology." She knitted her eyebrows together.

"That's the point." I replied. She stared at me for a long moment. As much as I still loved her, I knew she knew exactly how to manipulate me. And I also knew that any apology of hers wasn't worth shit. It was completely empty. She squeezed the hand that I had forgotten was still clenched in hers. I sighed. "It's not as simple as saying 'I'm sorry', Tanya. You betrayed my fucking trust. You basically told me that all the shit I ever shared with you meant nothing. Is that it, Tanya? I must mean absolutely fucking nothing to you. Because not only are you fucking around with someone else behind my back, but you sit there and spread around all the private shit I ever told you. You fucking know I can't trust anyone. You just made it official that I can never be honest with anyone ever again." I saw a tear streaming down one cheek, quickly followed by another on her other cheek. She was still looking into my eyes and no matter how hard I tried to be angry, the look on her face broke my fucking heart.

"Edward, please, can't we just foget about all that shit tonight? Can't we just... _pretend_ that none of that shit ever happened? Even if it's only for one night?"

I snorted. "Why? Lookin' for a fuck, Tanya?"

More tears ran down her cheeks. "No, Edward, please. I miss you. I wish we could just start over but you've made it clear that that's not going to happen. But can't we just please..." She leaned in real close to me. I could feel her breath on my neck and her tits against my chest. "... please, can't we pretend for just one night that everything is just the way it was before?" Oh my God, why was she doing this to me? Shit, for all I knew I was about to overdose on ecstacy and this would be my last night alive. Would I want to spend it alone? I sighed and then I bowed my head in defeat, pressing my forehead to hers.

"Okay..." I whispered. "Just for tonight." She smiled her brilliant smile and wrapped her arms around my waist. Then she became serious again.

"How long ago did you take those pills?"

"Umm, maybe 15 minutes ago?"

"Hmm..." was all she said. I could hear the music coming from the larger area. It was soft and romantic and it reminded me that for the next few hours, Tanya was mine for the last time. She leaned her head into my chest and with her hair under my nose I could smell that familiar scent from her coconut shampoo. Coconut always reminded me of Tanya now.

We stood there in the trees for a long fucking while. Maybe twenty minutes went by, I'm not sure, but out of nowhere Tanya lifted her head up and bore her sky blue eyes into mine once again. "Tell me how this feels." she said and then she reached up on her toes to kiss me. She traced her tongue along my bottom lip before sucking into her mouth. The sensations were incredible. I'd never had a kiss this intense before. I knew it had to be the Ex. _Ex with my ex. ha ha..._ I thought to myself.

"It's fucking amazing." I said into her lips. She ducked her hands underneath my hoodie and shirt started running the fingers of her left hand up the length of my spine. It tingled and sent butterflies fluttering through my stomach. She smiled against my lips before pulling away suddenly and then grabbed me by the hand, taking me deeper into the woods towards the river.

"Come on!" she said. It felt great to run. It felt _amazing_ to move at all. I had no fucking idea where Tanya was taking me but at this point I really didn't give a damn. She giggled and laughed and broke free from my hand. I started running faster to find her.

"Tanya?" I called out. She'd picked up speed and now I couldn't see her but the sound of her bell-like laughter echoed through-out the whole forest. "Tanya, fucking hell, where'd you go?" I chased after where I thought I'd seen her go. I couldn't find her. There was a break in the trees up ahead so I ran to it. When I reached it, I found myself at the water's edge, pale moonlight throwing shadows everywhere and turning my skin opaque.

"Gotcha!" Tanya exclaimed as she pounced on me from behind. I stumbled forward but she caught me, pulling me back to her. I spun around and saw her beautiful face in the pale moonlight and I knew.

I needed to fuck her. Right there.

I went to the ground next to the river bank, pulling her down with me. She kissed my cheek and straddled me, my hard on growing more and more obvious between us. She leaned down to kiss me roughly, every movement against me making moan against her soft mouth. The drugs were intensifying every sensation and every feeling she gave me.

I had my hands on her ass. I moved them up and grabbed the hem of her shirt, like I'd done a thousand times, and pulled it over her head. God damn she had a nice body. I slid my hands up her back until I found the clasp of her black, silky bra and pulled it off, freeing her delicious looking tits. She smiled and suddenly leaned to her right and pulled me on top of her, her reddish curls splaying across the wet grass. She unzipped my hoodie and tore it off. Next came my white t-shirt. I went back to her mouth, needing her tongue, needing the feel of her fucking perfect tits on my bare chest. Her nipples were hard and it made me groan into her mouth more.

She was lightly tracing her fingers along my back, my arms and my chest. Everything felt so different. It caused a driving need to just fucking fuck the shit outta her. It was consuming. There were too many clothes still on. I moved from her mouth and kissed a trail down her neck to her cleavage and eventually her stomach. I stopped to quickly unbutton her jeans and slip them off her long legs. I was pleasently surprised to find that she wore no underwear. I grinned and lowered my mouth on her, making her moan and push into my mouth, playing with her clit with my tongue. Fuck, I had to feel her around my dick one last time. I'd never needed it so badly. I came back up and unbuttoned my jeans, pulling them down along with my boxers. It felt rushed but I had to feel those incredible sensations again. I was riding a strange high that was making burst with joy and, well, ecstacy as I entered her. It was a strange pull between wanting to move faster to intensify the feeling and wanting to stay still to bask in the sensations I already had. It was the most amazing fucking experience I'd ever had. And then it all went black.

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I was fucking freezing. Goddamn why was it so fucking cold? I realized that I had no blanket. I reached to pull one over me but all I found was a handfull of leaves. What the hell? I opened my eyes. The sun was just begining to rise and I saw that I was in the woods on a bed of foliage. Why? What the hell happened last night? The last thing I could remember was having the most amazing sex of my life and then... nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was shivering. I had no idea where I was. I couldn't hear the river. I listened carefully for anything else.

And then my eyes lit up. I could hear a low buzzing of voices. I scrambled to my feet, only to sway and catch my balance on a giant hemlock. I walked towards where I thought the voices were coming from. And then I could here a distinct one above the rest.

_... the fuck is he? Carlisle is going to fucking kill us if were not home before he wakes up..._

Jasper.

Jasper!

"Hey, Jazz!" I croaked out. I sounded like shit. No, I sounded like I'd been sleeping in the middle of the woods all night with no blanket or shelter.

"EDWARD!" he yelled. I heard the rustling of leaves and then saw my brother appear between the trees. _Holy shit, oh my God, what the fuck, holy shit..._

"Take it easy, dude. I'm fine. I just passed out in the woods. I'm fine." I reassured him as I looked myself over and brushed off leaves.

"Shit, you must be fucking freezing!"

I nodded. "Yeah, let's get out of here. I need sleep. Right now."

"For sure." Jasper responded. He turned around to head back to the car with his back to me and I followed.

"So where's Rose and Em?" I asked as we came across the main clearing.

"Well, I after you and Em got back from wherever you were, he went to find Rose who was about to total his Jeep." he laughed.

"Damn, all because he tried to hook her up with her brother. He was pretty shitty last night."

"Naw, it was mostly because he tried to hook her up with anyone at all. You know how Rose is." _That fuckin' bitch..._

"Yeah, she can be a fucking bitch sometimes."

"You stole the words right outta my mouth." This confused me a bit. But he was possibly still a little too drunk to even realize he'd called her a bitch out loud.

"So you get lucky last night?" I asked. He shook his head. _No._

"What, you didn't like her?" I wondered. I knew it probably had nothing to do with him liking her but more his crippling shyness when it comes to females.

"No, she was hot and all but... I like girls who're a little less pretentious. I'm not trying to date someone like Rosalie."

"Yeah, Emmett already gave you that opportunity last night."

_Ugh, God, I wish people would stop bringing that shit up. It's fucking annoying._

"Oh, sorry dude. I didn't even think about that."

Jasper stopped walking and turned arounds abruptly. "Sorry for what?" he asked cautiously.

"For bringing up the Rose thing again. You just said you wish that people would quit bringing that shit up."

Jasper looked at me wide-eyed. "Ummm..." he said slowly. "I was just _thinking_ that but I never said that." And then Jasper spoke but his lips never moved. _That's really fucking weird. It's like he read my mind or some shit._

"What the hell?" I said, taken aback. "How the fuck did you do that?

"Do what?"

"Talk without making your lips move?"

"What?"

"Dude, you just said something like 'That's fucking weird. It's like he's reading my mind or some shit.'"

"Umm, no. Once again, I was thinking that, but I never said that." My eyes widened in disbelief. Was I still fucking tripping? Or could I really read Jasper's mind?

"Think something else." I said.

"Like what?"

"I don't fucking care! Anything! Think something and I think I can tell you what you're thinking about."

"You mean you can read my mind? What the fuck did you take last night?"

"Will you please just fucking think about something specific."

"Okay, fine." _Camel toe._

"Camel toe." I repeated.

"What the fuck?!" Jasper exclaimed. "You just read my fucking mind! Can you do it again?"

"I dunno."

"Try." And so I listened. And once again, I heard Jasper's voice but his lips didn't move. I would've thought it was a trick but Jasper wasn't clever enough to figure out how to do something like that.

"Bullshit." I said, reading his thoughts. "You only wish you had a bigger dick than mine."

"Fuck you." he said, laughing.

It was impossible, but it was true. I could hear Jasper's thoughts as clearly as I could hear him speak. How was this fucking happening? Who could I tell? I decided very quickly that this was one secret I would always have to keep. As it was, I was questioning my own sanity and I could hear Jasper doing the same. What the hell had happened to me last night? Was this all reality? Or was I just a psycho?

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A/N: Okay, I know you guys are probably hating the Tanya/Edward relationship and the lack of Alice. Don't worry, Alice and Bella are coming. It's all part of the story. I'll try to have chapter 2 up within the next few hours. Please read and review!

Reviews are like crack to me!


	2. Family

A/N: So to answer your query, Twilex, technically only Jasper and Rosalie are related. But it's much like in the books how they all refer to each other as brother and sister. Carlisle and Esme adopted them all. Hopefully this chapter will clear some of that up.

P.S. Sorry about all the profanity. I'll try to tone it down this time around. =]

Disclaimer: These are Stephanie Meyer's characters, not mine.

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The ride home was… awkward to say the least. I was still convinced that this was a product of that crazy ass trip from the night before but Jasper's thoughts were as clear as his voice. And they were hard to fucking ignore.

_Wonder what this means now? Who's he gonna tell? This can't be real. This can't fucking be real. Shit, if it is then I'm gonna hafta try to control what I'm thinking about. Damn. I wonder what he was doing out there in the woods all alone anyway…?_

"That's a good point." I said. Jasper turned to me from the passenger seat with a look of frustration.

"What is?"

"The fact that I woke up alone." I replied. "I was out there with Tanya last night…" Jasper's expression became one of understanding. He didn't say anything, but I suddenly got a flicker of memories in my head. Memories that weren't my own. They must be Jasper's. Weird.

I saw images of Tanya coming out of the woods alone, dirt on her clothes and leaves in her hair. I saw her making out with some greasy-looking douche bag named Eric and hopping into his car ten minutes later. "What the fuck?" I yelled.

"What? Aww, fuck. You didn't see that did you?"

"All of it."

"Dude," he said. "This is gonna be a big fucking problem."

"I know." I responded darkly, gripping the steering wheel tight. I tried blocking out Jasper's thoughts and concentrate on other things. Then, when we got closer to town, I began _hearing_ other things.

… _can't be serious! I sent in that payment two weeks ago…_

…_he doesn't shut up, does he? Maybe if I just tell him…_

…_where are my frickin' keys? Okay, when I came in last night I went to the kitchen, then the…_

…_new girl is fine as hell. I wonder if she …_

"Jazz," I whispered quietly. "I can hear them."

"Who?"

"Everyone."

A big smile spread across his face. "Really?" he asked. I nodded. "Holy hell, do you think it'll last?"

"No." I replied quickly. This has to be a fluke or something. Mind-reading? Please. That type of shit just doesn't exist. It's just some weird after-effect from the Ex. I drove quicker, trying to get home. While my thoughts were anxious, Jasper's were amused. _Fucking amused_. I anxiously parked in the garage and ran to the house, just hoping that Carlisle, my adoptive father, was still asleep. I noticed that Emmett's Jeep was already in the garage. I internally groaned as I remembered that Em was no master of stealth when it came to sneaking in or out of the house. I crept up the steps. When I reach the porch, I listened for any sign of life. I could hear a female's voice.

_Maybe we're being too hard on them. They're only teenagers, after all. That's what's expected. I just wish their judgment was a little better. Oh, what am I going to say? Should I even tell Carlisle? Maybe if I just talked to them…_

I smiled and turned to Jasper, who was right behind me on the steps. "It's just Esme. I don't think Carlisle knows." I whispered to him.

_Yes!_ Jasper thought. _Do you think she's gonna tell him where we were, though?_

"I don't know." I shrugged. There was only way to find out. Though I knew my adoptive mom wouldn't be nearly as harsh as Carlisle, I still couldn't bear to see that look of disappointment and worry that I'm sure she was wearing right about now. Carlisle and Esme were really the only parents I ever knew, since both of my biological parents died when I was so young. I sighed, preparing myself, and opened the front door.

Esme was sitting on the couch in the living room staring directly into my eyes. Though her face looked hard, her thoughts held a feeling of relief. I bowed my head and walked towards her, Jasper following close behind. She was sitting on the far right side of the couch. "Sit." She said, gesturing to the empty space on the couch and the chair next to it. Jasper took the chair and I took the couch. We sat there in silence for a bit. Or at least, it was silent to Esme and Jasper. For me, I sat, quietly listening to Esme's troubled thoughts. Then she finally spoke.

"You kids have put me in a tight spot." She said. "I know this isn't the first time you all have stayed out all night doing God knows what and I've kept quiet every time. But what am I to do, now? I can't be hiding things from Carlisle. What kind of wife would I be?" She rubbed her forehead. _I'd be a shit wife._ I winced at hearing Esme swear. She'd never sworn aloud to any one of us. It was fucked up hearing it.

"So now I have to make a decision." She continued. "Do I continue to lie to my husband and let this one slide? Or do I tell Carlisle about this and just hope that my children will still feel like they can trust me? I'm not excited about losing your trust, boys. So I'm at a loss."

_Dude, say something!_ Jasper thought. I turned my head to him and narrowed my eyes. If anyone could sweet talk Esme, it was Jasper. Jasper rolled his eyes at me and sighed as he turned to our mother. "Esme, you're absolutely right, we haven't been fair to you. We never intended to put you in this position. Why would we?" Jasper put on a sad mask and gave Esme the puppy dog eyes. Fucking pathetic. Esme sighed and nodded.

"I know you would never intentionally do that. I know you kids care, but sometimes you just don't think."

"You're right Esme. And I am so, so sorry about all of this. We both are." Jasper looked pointedly at me. _Say you're sorry, asshole._

"I'm sorry, too, Esme. Truly," I told her, a look of remorse in my eyes. Esme stared at the two of us for a long moment before taking a deep breath and putting a small pale hand on my shoulder.

"I know." She said. "And this is going to be the last time I let something like this slide. Next time, I'm not keeping Carlisle in the dark." We both nodded and I heard Jasper silently think _Yes!_ behind me. After letting Esme hug us, we quickly ran to our respective rooms, grateful for the chance to sleep in a real bed.

--------------------

The weekend went by without incident for the rest of my family. Carlisle worked, Rosalie and Esme went on a shopping trip to Seattle and Jasper and Emmett mostly hung out in my room playing my Playstation and smoking pot. I figured it was probably safe (and necessary) to tell Emmett about the mind reading whether he thought I was crazy or not. It turned out that it was rather nice having one other person know. We actual found my new found "psychosis" to be quite useful when it came to smoking up in my room. I was always able to hear my family's thoughts before they came anywhere near my bedroom door and I was also able to hear when they grew suspicious. It was actually kinda nice, sometimes. I learned all sorts of trivial secrets that my family hid inside their brains. Sometimes I'd lie awake at night, listening to Jasper thinking of his parents or Carlisle thinking about work. But it could also still be very fucking annoying. I was always the last one asleep at night because the incessant white noise of my family's brains kept me awake. School was… different. My grades suddenly went up now that I could pluck all the answers out of other people's heads. It was a damn good thing that I wasn't much for socializing. So many times I found myself answering Emmett and Jasper's thoughts rather than their words. I'd have to be careful about that. That'd be just perfect if some shit like that got out.

I also used this new talent to spy on Tanya. Much as I hated myself for it, I just couldn't fucking help it. I'd heard her regret in making out with Eric Yorkie at the party on Friday. I watched as she replayed the scene of the two of us fucking in the woods over and over. And she did think about me. A lot. But she also thought about other guys. And she also did shit with those other guys. But judging from the feelings behind her memories of me, I did get the distinct impression that Tanya favored me over the others. I internally kicked myself for being so damn excited about being her favorite boy toy. And I thought a lot about her, too.

I worked hard to control it and I was getting better. After about a month I was able to block out the constant babble and pretend like I couldn't hear it. Some days I thought I would go insane. Some days I fucked with people.

One day in particular, I was sitting in Trig, listening to the babble of voices when one thing in particular piqued my curiosity. Poor Eric Yorkie, who was sitting in the desk next to mine, was thinking about Tanya. I stared at him, trying to focus on his thoughts alone.

… _fucking perfect body. Damn, I wish I could've hit that. At least I got to second. Wonder why she was covered in leaves? Probably from lying on her back in the woods. Ha! What a slut…_

My glare grew harder. Eric suddenly turned his head and looked at me, jumping slightly. Then he whipped his head back forward.

_What the fuck is wrong with that Cullen kid? Why is he staring at me? Shit, do I have something on my face?_ He started nonchalantly wiping at his greasy, pock-marked face with his hand. And then I couldn't resist the opportunity. I leaned towards him real slow until he met my gaze again.

"You keep thinking shit like that about Tanya and you _will_ have something on your disgusting face: my fucking fist."

The kid looked at me all wide-eyed and shit before going real rigid in his chair. I smiled and put a finger to my temple, throwing him a wink before I turned back to the front of the room.

_What. The. Fuck. Oh crap, I think I just peed a little._ I saw him glance down at his black pants real quick before asking Mr. Varner for a bathroom pass. I chuckled quietly as he walked past me to leave the room.

--------------------

"Ha! You actually made Yorkie piss his pants?" Emmett laughed as we sat in my room after school doing the usual. I grinned.

"You know I wouldn't exaggerate…" I said. I was currently sitting on the gold carpeted floor next to the open balcony door, smoking a cigarette. Emmett sat cross-legged on my bed with his favorite blue Mariners hat kicked to the right on his head and a blunt hanging out of his mouth. His eyes transfixed on the t.v. screen and the game that Jasper and him were playing. It was some kind of car racing game.

"Fuckin-a, Jazz! You're a damn, dirty cheater!" he yelled as Jasper out lapped him and crossed the finish line. He threw the controller onto the bed, laid back and took another hit off the blunt. Jasper sat on my black leather sofa with a smile on his face, victorious.

"Gimme that. You're bo-guarding the blunt." Jasper reached his hand out to the bed just a little too far. He fell off and hit the carpet with a loud but muffled _thud_ that made us all bust into hysterics.

_Aww, he deserves a few more hits after _that. Emmett thought. Still laughing, he handed the blunt to Jasper who was still lying on the floor. He took two or three large hits and handed it to me. I accepted gladly. I found that hearing so many different voices in my head constantly gave me a strange headache that not even aspirin could fix, but weed defiantly took the edge off and made the voices all but inaudible.

"So," Jasper said as he exhaled, still lying on my bedroom floor. "Isn't that a little risky, though? Letting Yorkie know that you can hear his thoughts, I mean."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "But do you honestly think he'd do something? He'd scared shitless of me, now."

"True." Jasper said. I took a long drag off the blunt and held it in as I listened to Jasper's new train of thoughts. I exhaled in surprise and anger as I realized what he was thinking.

"You fucking prick! Why would you even think something like that!" I yelled.

Jasper's green eyes grew wide. "Nobody said you had to listen, douche bag. But yeah, I that's how I feel." Emmett was still sprawled out on my bed but my sudden outburst made him sit up on one elbow.

"Okay, somebody gonna tell me what just happened?" he asked as I took another hit off the blunt.

Inhaled and held it in as I spoke. "This mother fucker," I pointed at Jasper. "Says that I need to let Tanya go. That I have an obsession." Then I spoke to Jasper again. "Just because she's not mine doesn't mean I can't defend her when someone's shit talking and calling her a slut." I exhaled and handed the blunt to Emmett.

Jasper snorted. "If you plan on taking out every person that calls Tanya Denali a slut then you'll be punching faces all day, every day." I glared at him and took a hit off my cigarette. This discussion was killing my buzz.

"Shut the hell up, Hale."

"You know I'm right."

"I don't give a damn! This is my mother fucking room. You are smoking my mother fucking weed and playing my mother fucking Playstation. If I tell you to shut the hell up, then shut the hell up. If you don't, then you get your happy ass out of my room." My chest was heaving. I was pissed. I didn't care how many guys (and the few girls) Tanya slept with. She was still my first love. The Tanya I knew was not the same Tanya everyone else knew. But at the same time, I knew he was right. I'd seen her many conquests in her head. But I just couldn't help it. And I knew I needed a distraction. Unfortunately, I now knew pretty much everything about every girl in this God forsaken town and they were all the same.

_Sorry, bro…_ Jasper told me after a second.

"Out loud, you prick."

"Sorry." He told me.

"It's fine."

He put on a movie after that and we finished the blunt in silence. I contemplated what Jasper had said about Yorkie ratting me out or some shit. What would happen? Would they believe me? And if they did, would they just ship me off somewhere so that the Government could experiment on me like in Superman? I shook my head, disregarding that train of thought. Carlisle and Esme would never let anything like that happen to me.

I suddenly heard Rosalie's voice drifting to me from the garage. Thinking about herself, as usual. "Hey everybody, Her Majesty the Princess is home. We'd better air this bitch out." I said, turning on the fan next to me and grabbing the Febreeze out from under my bed. Emmett scowled at me from the bed.

_I really wish you'd just let her in on the secret. She's the only one of us that doesn't know. You _can _trust her, you know._ I rolled my eyes at him. We'd had this discussion many times before.

"It's not that I don't trust her, Em. It's just that I like keeping this shit between just us guys."

_Dude, she may not be a guy, but she's the closest thing you've got to a sister._

He was fucking guilt-tripping me. Damn it. He was right, too. Why is everyone except me always right?

"Fine." I muttered. I stuck my head out the balcony door from where I sat and saw Rosalie walking up to the house. "Hey, Rose!" I called to her. "Come up here when you get in!"

"And interrupt you guys' circle jerk? Why the hell would I want to do that?" she called. I rolled my eyes, expecting the snide remark.

"Just get your ass up here, alright?"

"Fine." She disappeared around the corner to the front door. I turned back to Emmett.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. She'll be the first one to narc me out."

"You don't have to worry about Rosalie." Emmett said. "She wouldn't do that. I know she can be a bitch, but she's no narc. Besides," he added. "She's not willing to do anything that would risk her and my relationship being brought to Carlisle and Esme's attention." Our parents still didn't know that Em and Rose were an item. We guessed that if they found out, they'd be under constant watch so the current state of secrecy was convenient.

"Yeah," Jasper agreed. "I grew up with the girl and unless she's putting a dick in her mouth, she keeps her mouth shut." Emmett threw a pillow at him. Jasper laughed. "Sorry, I meant, unless she's putting _Emmett's_ dick in her mouth."

"That's much better." Em said with a satisfied grin.

A couple minutes later I could her Rosalie's self-absorbed thoughts coming down the hallway.

… _really could've waited. I've got shit to do because, unlike them, I have a life._ She busted through the door seconds later with an annoyed scowl on her face. "What the hell do you want? It reeks of pot in here, by the way." she said harshly. She seemed too harsh, even for her. I suddenly knew what was bothering her.

"So, your mom called?" I asked her. Jasper's ears perked. I knew the subject of Jasper and Rosalie's biological mother was a sore subject. They'd been taken away from her by the state and thrown into foster care when Rose was 8 and Jasper was 6. Apparently she was a crack head or a heroin junkie or something like that.

Rose's brusque demeanor broke slightly. She was taken aback. "Umm, yeah… actually. How'd you know that?"

"That's actually what we wanted to talk to you about." I said. "Have a seat." I gestured to the bed where Emmett sat. She looked hesitantly at my bed before going over to it and taking her place next to Em.

_Hmm, that's weird. I wonder why she didn't tell me her mom called?_ Emmett wondered. Jasper wondered the same thing. But I knew why. It was because her mom wanted her and Jasper to come live with her until they both graduated, that she was clean. But Rosalie had no intentions of going back to that shithole in Portland.

"You guys are acting really weird lately. What is this all about?" she asked, eyeing my lit cigarette. "And since when are we smoking in the house?"

"Only in my room." I answered her last question.

Rose shrugged. "Huh. Well, it's your funeral, Edward." She began pulling out a pack of cigarettes from her purse. Her too? She pulled one out and lit it. "Carlisle is going to kill you." She said as she exhaled.

"Carlisle isn't going to find out. At least, he won't find out if you'd ever so fucking kindly blow the smoke out the door, please." I told her. Rose continued smoking her cigarette and she eyed all of us suspiciously.

"Okay, seriously. Somebody tell me what the hell is up with you guys."

I took a drag off my cigarette to prepare myself. I looked at the ceiling as I exhaled slowly. "Okay, Rose…" I began. "You know how some people get too fucked up sometimes and they end up on a perma-trip?" She nodded. "Okay, well, I guess you could say that that's happened to me. Except I'm not tripping. I can _hear_ things, though." Her eyes grew wide and then skeptical.

"What are you talking about, Edward? Have you finally lost it?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I don't _think_ so. You see, the things I hear are real." I hesitated. I really wasn't thrilled about telling her this. And I wasn't looking forward to her laughing at me once I said it. But I had to get it over with, so I just fucking said it. "Rose, I can hear people's thoughts. I can read everyone's mind. Right now I can hear your thoughts, Jasper's thoughts and Emmett's."

Rose's thoughts had turned into incoherent bewilderment. There were no words. Basically just like one big, resounding "Huh?" and her eyebrows knit together. Then, instead of laughing like I expected, she spoke.

"Really?" she asked, sounding amazed. "You can read my mind right now?"

"Sure," I said. And then I listened. "Right now you're thinking that this is… frickin' awesome?"

"Well, yeah, that's obvious. Let's try something more specific. Try it again." So I listened again.

"You're thinking you need a haircut. You have split ends."

"Holy shit!" Rose exclaimed, nearly dropping her cigarette. "You really can read minds!"

I was not expecting this. Where was the laughing, the endless ridicule? Why was she being so damn… enthusiastic?

"You're seriously not freaked out by this?" I asked.

"Hell no!" she said. "Yeah, it's some freaky shit, but defiantly some cool shit, too."

Well, damn. This wasn't too bad. It was actually kinda nice. I finally felt some sort of connection with my adopted sister that had never been there before. And Emmett was right, Rose _was_ the closest thing I've ever had to a sister. Even when I lived with my biological parents I was an only child. I suddenly felt a slight tinge of remorse for not including her sooner.

--------------------

Shit was so much easier now that all four of us were in on the secret. The only thing that could've made it better would've been if they could read minds, too. But it was still good. And for the first time in my life, I had a true sense of family.

I should've known that it would all be taken away so quickly.

It'd been about three and a half months since the morning I woke up hearing voices for the first time. It was mid-December, nearly Christmas time. Rose and I – we were pretty fucking close now – were sitting in my room watching a movie. It was late, and Rose liked to keep me company because she knew how difficult it was for me to fall asleep now. Nothing was different or out of sorts, just sittin' on my bed, smoking cigarettes and watching _Cruel Intentions_. Bad choice. I was trying to concentrate on the movie and only half-listening to Rose's thoughts until I heard – or rather saw – something that took me aback. And then I started fucking laughing.

Because Rose had just wondered what it would be like to kiss me.

I could tell she tried to push the thought out of her head as fast as she could. But it didn't matter because I saw the thought anyway.

"Shut the fuck up!" she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "You know, this whole mind-reading thing is a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"I know," I said, trying to catch my breath. "And I know you can't help it." And then I just had to fuck with her head. "Unless you meant it…" I said, quirking an eyebrow at her. Her eyes widened. And then they narrowed.

"Shut up. You're just trying to fuck with me."

"Guilty." I admitted. Then there was a sharp knock on my bedroom door. "It's open." I said. Carlisle cracked the door open and peeked his head inside. It was just dark enough that I couldn't see his face, but I could tell it was him by the sound of his voice.

"What're you kids doing in here?" he asked.

"Watching a movie." I responded.

"Huh,"

"Why?"

"You two seem to be getting along really well lately." And then he added. "It's odd." _If I didn't know any better, I'd think you two had a little thing going on._

I laughed. "Please, it's not at all like that between Rose and me." And that was where I fucked up. You see, I couldn't really see his face, so I had no way of knowing that his last statement was actually in his head.

He paused. "What?"

"Rose and I don't have a thing going on. That'd be weird."

"That's good to know Edward, but why would you even imply that I thought that?" he asked, puzzled.

"You just said 'If I didn't know any better, I'd think you two had a little thing going on.'" And as soon as the words left my mouth, I realized my mistake.

"Edward, I never said that. Oddly enough, I _was_ thinking that. Strange…" I had just noticed that Rose was sitting very still beside me. Carlisle flipped on the light and entered the room completely. His hair was wet from his shower earlier and he wore his blue pajamas. He sat on the couch across from my bed. "Edward, what's going on? All of you kids have seemed so reclusive lately. What're you hiding?"

"Nothing." Rose spoke for me. Damnit, she was a horrible liar. Carlisle saw right through it and turned back to me.

"Edward?"

I sighed. What could I do? I wasn't sure how Carlisle would react but I defiantly couldn't lie to him. I only had one choice here.

"Carlisle, I _have_ been keeping something from you …"

--------------------

A/N: Okay, so I'm reeeeeally hoping for more than one review this time around. =[

Reviews make me want to write more (and write better). And they make me happy. Which means my story won't be overly angst-y.

Next chapter I'm bringing in the APOV and BPOV.

Feed my addiction. Bring me reviews.


	3. Psychos

A/N: Thank you so much to the few of you that reviewed! I wish all readers could be as awesome as you guys. =]

Okay, so I know I said there'd be some APOV and BPOV in this chapter but I realized that I needed to start of in EPOV. The dynamic here between Edward and Carlisle is important. But if you're patient and you read the whole chapter, you'll get some APOV. I had to cut the BPOV from this chapter. It would've been information over-load. So that just gives you something to look forward to for chapter 4.

With a few minor exceptions, these are not my characters. They're all Stephanie Meyers's.

EPOV

And so here I sit, in a small enclosure filled with endless white. Fucking white. Carlisle and I had been been sitting in this room for easily twenty or so minutes, him in the hard plastic chair and me on the examination bed covered in that annoying, crinkly paper shit. Both our thoughts were on the same wave-length.

Impatience.

Where the hell was this doctor? Carlisle had taken me all the way to a hospital in Seattle. He told me it was because there would be better care at a big city hospital as apposed to the tiny hospital he worked at in Forks. And this wasn't a complete lie. I knew there would be better care here, but I also knew that he didn't want everyone he worked with knowing that his "son" was in the hospital because he was nut job.

The line of Carlisle's thinking gave me the impression that Carlisle didn't have the best of feelings towards the doctor who would be talking with me. Like most medical and surgical doctors, he felt that psychiatry wasn't a real practice, that shrinks weren't "real doctors." I disagreed. Though, honestly, I probably wouldn't have had an opinion, but at that moment I truly hated my adoptive father. So, infantile as it was, I decided that I would disagree with him on just about anything at the moment. And I also learned from Carlisle's thoughts that he'd once worked with this guy. I got a flash of something else with the memory. Something with a heavy feeling of dislike behind it but Carlisle obviously didn't want to think about the memory because it was clearly an ugly one. But apparently this doctor was the best that the city had to offer.

So now I sit here, awaiting my fate like a felon on trial. I really should've seen this coming. This was exactly why I didn't care to let him in on my little secret. Forever being Doctor Dad, I knew that he'd take a medical approach to this. 'There's always a scientific answer to every question,' he once told me. So, in his mind, there was no way in hell that the voices I heard were real, no matter how hard I tried to convince him with my infallible proof. Or so I thought it was infallible.

The white door swung open swiftly and a white doctor with white hair and a white lab coat entered the threshold.

"Good morning, Carlisle," he said as he entered, throwing a cordial nod in Carlisle's direction. Carlisle returned the gesture.

"Dave," he said with a nod of his own. The doctor turned to me, his hand outstretched to shake mine.

"And you must be Edward." I shook his hand, nodding at his assumption. "I'm Doctor Reed." he said with a smile. His thoughts seemed friendly enough; I wasn't going to like hating him once he told me that I'm a lunatic. He sat down in a swivel stool in front of a desk with an ancient looking computer and a whole mess of papers. He held a clipboard in his hand and reviewed the documents attached to it, which I assumed to be my chart or patient history. "Hmm…" he said thoughtfully. _No history of mental illness in the family or anything indicative of mental instability. But he is at that age… Huh, I wonder…_

"Have you ever had any experience with drug use, Edward?" he asked. Fuck. I didn't have to be a mind-reader to see that coming. I hesitated, wondering if it would be better if I just lied. But Carlisle quirked an eyebrow at my hesitation and I knew that it made no difference now. If I was going to be fucked, might as well get fucked thoroughly.

"Yeah, a little…" I said. I maintained eye-contact with the good doctor but I could hear Carlisle's sigh and the simultaneous disappointment that now flooded his thoughts.

"What drugs have you used?" Dr. Reed asked.

I had to think about it for a moment. I wasn't a drug addict by any stretch but I had done my fair fucking share of experimenting. "Umm, lemme think," I said. I counted off on my fingers. "Alcohol, marijuana, muscle relaxers, Tussin, mushrooms, Adderall, Xanax, cocaine…" The shock in both Carlisle and Dr. Reed's thoughts grew louder and louder as my list grew longer and longer. "… Oxycotin, Morphine, Codeine, Seraquol, ecstasy, opium, acid, mesacline, Quaaludes… " Their shock was louder still. Some of this shit was hardly even around anymore. "… Methadone, Perocet Vicodin and Valium. Oh yeah, and peyote."

The wordless shock of their thoughts was comical. It almost made me laugh.

Almost.

And then Dr. Reed collected his thoughts. _Holy shit, no wonder this kid's hearing voices._ he thought. _I'm surprised he's even breathing._ I could see what he was thinking.

"Don't get me wrong." I said. "Yeah, I've tried a lot of sh- …stuff, but most of it I only ever did once. I've only habitually used alcohol and marijuana. Oh, and the occasional Adderall when I need to study and sometimes Xanax when I get stressed out." This didn't seem to ease either of their thoughts.

"It says here…" he held up the chart. "…that you've recently started hearing voices in your head. Were you under the influence when the voices first appeared?" he asked.

"Well, it was the next morning." I told him. "I kinda blacked out." I added sheepishly.

"What had you taken?"

"Ecstacy. A pretty large amount, too. And I'd smoked weed and drank a good amount alcohol not too long before that."

A knowing look crossed his face. _Ahh, ecstasy. That makes sense. _"And how long ago did this happen?"

"Beginning of September… so, about three and a half months ago."

The doctor suddenly looked incredulous, his blue eyes widening. "You've been walking around hearing voices in your head for nearly four months and you just decided not to tell anybody? You didn't even think to seek any kind help?" I could tell by the backing of his thoughts that he didn't _mean_ to sound accusatory, but his tone still pissed me off a little. But I tried my best to remain calm.

"Well, it's not exactly like that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I explained. "I don't hear random voices. I hear other people's voices. I hear their _thoughts_."

_What? That can't be possible. But maybe… no. It can't be._ His thoughts were a blur. They were so confused that they nearly drowned out Carlisle's - who was sadly thinking that I was diluted like he had when I first tried convincing him of my mind-reading the night before. Dr. Reed now sat in the stool, dumbfounded, switching back and forth between wanting to believe and knowing that it was impossible. He looked me in the eye after a second and his thoughts spoke directly to me. _I wonder… Can you hear me right now?_ he asked me silently. I glanced over at Carlisle, who was still shaking his head and looking at the floor sadly. I turned back to the doctor and just nodded, answering his question.

For a moment, I was sure I had him convinced. But my hopes were quickly crushed when he started shaking his head. _No, it can't be._ he thought. _This isn't right. It's not natural. It's a fluke._ Now I was starting to get fucking pissed. Hadn't I just answered his silent query? Shouldn't that be all the proof he needs? Sure, it _wasn't_ natural, but he was a fucking shrink! Shouldn't he of all people have an answer as to how this was possible?

He began asking me leading questions. I knew where he was going with this from the instant he started asking them. And I answered them honestly. Shit, it couldn't hurt, right? But the scary thing was, I answered "yes" to most of them.

"Do you have commonly have mood swings? "

"Yes."

"Do your mood swings cause problems with friends and family?"

"Yes."

"Do your mood swings lead to lulls in productivity that last more than a few days?" Carlisle looked up when Dr. Reed asked this. It didn't take him long to figure out where the doctor was going with this, either.

"Sometimes."

"Do your mood states last for days at a time and change when something good happens?"

"Usually."

"Do other people notice and comment when your mood shifts?"

I snorted. "Always."

"Do your mood swings noticeably change the way you think, perceive and sleep or effect your energy and activity levels?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"Do your mood swings ever get so out of hand that the police have to be called or a hospitalization becomes necessary?" I winced at this. Yeah, there had been one or two instances where I'd gone a little overboard. I had a few Disorderly Conducts under my belt and one time I was nearly arrested on Battery charges. I could see Carlisle's thoughts flicker to those instances, too.

"Umm… yeah." I responded. There were other questions, too. Questions about feeling anxious or panic-y. Questions about frugal spending. Questions about being overly sexually oriented. I laughed at this. What seventeen year old male wasn't overly sexually oriented? And more questions about periods of euphoric, non-drug induced highs and deep, depressive lows. And questions about suicide.

And I could hear the diagnoses in Reed's head before it came out of his mouth. I shouldn't have been surprised, I knew where his questions were leading from the very beginning. But it was still weird to hear the words come out of his mouth and know that he was talking about me.

"Edward, from what you've told me I can only draw one conclusion, one that I feel is accurate." He sighed then. "You have Type 2 Bipolar Disorder and Simple Schizophrenia, which the later of the two I feel is drug induced. Carlisle," he said, turning to him. "I'm urging you to have him admitted immediately. This has gone untreated for too long. I suggest you fill out his paperwork upstairs today and come back first thing tomorrow morning." Carlisle nodded and for as much as I hated him for agreeing to have me "admitted", the tone of his thoughts made my heart break a little.

_Why didn't I notice anything before? How could I've been that abstracted? I've failed as a father. This is _my_ fault. What a poor father I've been to him. He must hate me. I wouldn't blame him._ And he was right, part of me did hate him. But not for that reason. And while I didn't call him "Dad", he was the closest fucking thing I'd ever had to a father. And while I actually didn't doubt the doctor's first diagnosis, I didn't blame Carlisle for not seeing it before. How could I blame him?

But now the anger set in. I was going to be admitted to the fucking psyche ward. I knew I wasn't "normal" but I was definitely not so far gone that I was fit for the psyche ward. And I was slightly nervous. I'd never been there before. The only impression I had was from movies and t.v. shows. Images of straight jackets, padded rooms and electroshock therapy ran through my mind. It appeared that while I was mulling all of this over, Carlisle and Dr. Reed were having a discussion.

"Inpatient, I'm assuming." Carlisle said. I'd noticed just then that his skin seemed paler and his forehead was crinkled with stress lines. No surprise there. Having a kid, who he wished so much he could call son, committed to the nut house wasn't exactly a stress-free event.

"You assume correct." Dr. Reed replied.

"How long?"

"It depends. I'd like to keep him inpatient for a month, maybe less if he's cooperative and makes good progress. Then I'd like to continue with outpatient therapy for at least a couple of weeks."

Carlisle nodded in understanding. "That's a long time, Dave. It's seems extreme."

"It's an extreme case, Carlisle."

A month? And then at least another two weeks of therapy after that? Fuck. I leaned back and rested my head against the cold white wall but the other two men stood up.

"Would you like me to call for an orderly to assist the two of you to the fourth floor." Dr. Reed asked. It sounded like an innocent enough offer but the thought behind it suggested that Carlisle couldn't handle his own kid. It sort of irked me and I wasn't the only one to pick up on the hidden meaning. Carlisle stiffened slightly and lifted his chin up a little.

"I'm sure Edward will be more than cooperative, thank you." Carlisle responded. I'd never really seen him sneer at someone before so it sort of took me aback. There was clearly something more than just differing opinions of practice that fueled this passive aggressiveness but I was too distracted by fucked up thoughts of being strapped to a table while electric currents are being run through my brain by some creepy as fuck doctor. Before I knew it, Carlisle was escorting me out the door and leading me to the elevators at the end of the hall.

"I'm sorry, Edward." he said as we waited for the elevator door to open. I didn't respond, because he wasn't sorry for not believing me and he wasn't sorry for where he was about to take me and leave me for a month. He was still fucking sorry for "failing as a father."

I looked him dead in the eye. "That's not what you should be sorry for…"

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APOV

It was a good day for me. I was practically humming with excitement. He was coming today. I'd seen a vision of him two nights ago when his father figure - I didn't understand their relationship - made the decision to bring him to this hospital. Tall, fair-skinned, green eyes, messy reddish-brown hair and _damn, he was good-looking_. But I already knew that he wasn't meant for me. We were to be friends. And he would lead me to the boy that I'd been dreaming of since I first starting having the visions nearly five years ago. I couldn't believe that I was so close to finally knowing Jasper. But I still had to earn it. I could tell that this new boy, Edward was his name, wouldn't be easy to get along with. Persistence. I would just have to be persistent.

We were sitting in the Big Room on the couches. It did suck that 17 year olds had to be in the Pediatric wing of the psyche ward. I was the second oldest one here. But Sandra, the other girl my age, wasn't very social. I think she thought she was a vampire or something. She was the only one not on a couch. She was standing in the shadowed corner of the room, as if the light was going to kill her or something. Emo faker. I'd seen her type in every psyche ward I'd been to. She was the kind of person who'd create problems to cry about - mostly complaining about her parents - and then cut herself, claiming she wants to die. They were always the same. If they _really _wanted to die, then they'd be dead. Simple as that. I could see that Sandra would be pregnant in a year, when she'd be going through her Ghetto/Baby Phat/Lil Wayne phase. I took comfort in that thought.

We were all here having our morning group session. I'd given up long ago on trying to convince psychologists that my visions weren't hallucinations, so now I just played the game. The group counselor, Ann, reminded me of a modern Mary Poppins, except Mary Poppins would've been a wonderful break from this sickeningly sweet woman. She always had her light brown hair pulled back in a perfect bun with just the right amount of rouge on her cheeks. As I thought about it, Ann was more like Snow White. I pictured her in a forest wearing a frilly pink dress, singing in a shrilling soprano to all the adorably cute animals that surrounded her. I snorted quietly to myself, but it was just loud enough that Peter, the 14 year-old boy with PTSD who was sitting next to me, looked at me questioningly. I smiled and shook my head at him in a way that said "don't ask."

Ann was in charge of working with the younger kids. It was a glorified baby-sitting job.

Chester was the exact opposite and usually much easier to deal with. He was a poser hippie. He had his hair in long brown dreadlocks and wore those Indie rock looking glasses with thick, black plastic frames. He always wore a green velvet blazer with brown suede patches on the elbows to make him look more collegiate, I guess. Chester was your typical Seattle college student who probably spent his weekends protesting for the legalization of marijuana or something. He was actually pretty awesome, despite the fact that his whole demeanor screamed "I'm cool because even though I'm an authority figure, I sit in chairs backwards and I let you cuss when you talk to me." The best part about Chester was that he was the only counselor I'd ever talked to who truly believed that my visions were, in fact, visions and not hallucinations. Right now, he was sitting on top of the table in the corner of the room that was closest to me. He hardly ever sat on a real chair and when he did, it was always flipped around with the back of the seat in front of him.

"Alice?"

I was pulled out of my thoughts suddenly by Ann. "Yes?" I asked sweetly.

"I was just wondering how your evening went last night?" This was the standard practice. They asked us this to see if we'd had any "episodes" or breakdowns after they left for the evening.

"Oh, well, you see…" I said. And then sighed. "I'd really rather not talk about it in front of everyone." I looked down at my lap. Ann quickly wrote something down on the papers in front of her and I shot Chester a quick glance. He looked back at my pointedly. He knew what I was trying to do. He turned to Ann to speak.

"Maybe Alice could come speak with me about it privately?" And then he turned to me. "Unless, of course, you don't want to." I shook my head vehemently.

"No, Chester. I know that I need to talk about it when these types of things happen."

"That's a very healthy way to view it, Alice." Ann told me, looking back up from her papers. "I think you're getting better by the day." She was beaming at me. Ugh. Gag me.

"Would you like to go talk about it now?" Chester asked.

"Please?" I nearly pleaded. Chester nodded and hopped down from the table, though it was more like he glided off of it. His legs were so long that they were already touching the carpet as he sat. He walked out of the room and I followed after him, closing the door behind me. Because he was so tall and I was so short, I had to jog to catch up to him. He slowed his pace for me so I only had to move at a brisk walk now.

We made our way down the hall of the pediatric side of the ward and turned left into the main, adult ward. We quickened our pace just a bit. He knew I hated going through this hall. Though movies make psyche wards look much worse than they really are, they sure do get one thing right: the sounds. Every few rooms or so I could hear different sounds from their occupants. Some crying, some laughing, some simply babbling to themselves. On an off day I could even hear screaming. Fortunately, there were no screams today but we still hurried our way to the exit around the corner.

The psyche ward was on the uppermost level of the hospital, floor 13. I always thought that was a little ironic. We busted through the exit and up a short flight of concrete stairs until we reached the door at the top, which brought us to the roof. We went to our little spot by the ledge that looked out onto the downtown area of Seattle. Chester pulled out a pack of Camel lights from the pocket of his blazer and removed two cigarettes, handing one to me. He grimaced as he handed me a lighter and I lit mine.

"I really wish you didn't smoke." he said. He then proceeded to light his own. I rolled my eyes as I blew out smoke.

"I'm quitting the second I get out of here." I told him.

He took a drag off his cigarette and turned to look at the overcast skies above the downtown. "Uh huh. That's what they all say."

I shook my head and smiled a bit. Truth was, I really wasn't much of a smoker. Sure, I'd had a cigarette or two the very few times I'd partied, but I never smoked alone and I'd definitely never bought my own pack. I was only smoking now to get out of that stupid group session. And the light-headed buzz it gave me was pretty cool, too. I took another drag and remembered the other reason I wanted to get Chester alone.

"So, tell me about this Edward, guy." I said.

"How do you…? Oh, right." Chester said and laughed a little. I liked the fact that someone else actually believed in my visions. But then he shook his head. "Nope, can't even do it. Doctor, patient confidentiality."

"Says the guy supplying cigarettes to an underage crazy chick. Besides," I added. "You're not even a _real_ doctor." Chester shook his head again, so I brought out the big guns. I jutted out my lower lip and widened my brown eyes ever so slightly in a pout that no one could refuse. Chester eyed me for a second before sighing in submission. _I win, again._ I thought smugly.

"Well, since I'm breaking all the rules as it is…" Chester said. I started clapping and bouncing up and down simultaneously.

"Yay!"

Chester shook his head and smiled again. Then he said "Alice, this kid's a real piece of work." he told me. "He's your textbook definition of a type 2 Bipolar Schizophrenic. Major mood swings, anger issues, hearing voices, the whole nine yards. He's an interesting choice in a friend."

"He's not my friend, _yet_."

"Wonder what makes him so significant to your future." he mused. He was absent-mindedly rolling his cigarette in between his fingers.

I shrugged. "I'm sure he'll lead me to _him_. I know he will."

We smoked silently for a few minutes, enjoying the fresh air. The sun even decided to appear for a minute or two through a break in the clouds. Then Chester checked his watch. "We need to head back." He put his cigarette out on the ledge. I took one more hit and did the same. He then pulled out a pack of gum and a tiny can of men's body spray. He handed me both. I quickly sprayed my clothes and popped a piece of the spearmint gum in my mouth. I handed the items back to him and he did the same. Then we quickly headed to the stairs. We raced through the main ward and rounded the corner to the pediatric wing. We stood just outside the door, trying to not look so flushed when the door to the Big Room opened and the others started filing out.

We were all headed to breakfast in the small, white dining room when the feeling hit me. That sudden sense of déjà vu that I always got when a scene from a past vision suddenly became my current reality. I'd seen this moment before - two nights ago, in fact - and I knew what was coming. Though I tried to avoid the collision that I knew was just around the corner, it was to no avail.

"Alice!" a voice shouted from behind me, just like in my vision. And I turned my head, even though I knew that that was a mistake, because it was rude not to answer someone when the wanted to talk to you. And just like in my dream, I felt like I was colliding with a moving brick wall as another person slammed into me, knocking me to the floor and a flurry of papers fell around me. And then I looked up, not at all surprised when I was met with a pair of exasperated-looking green eyes.

"Sorry…" we both said as we realized what had just happened. I waited for him to offer to help me up but he instead knelt down and began gathering the papers that had scattered all around me. I looked down and noticed that they were all either handwritten letters or drawings. I noticed one drawing in particular. It was of a gorgeous looking girl with full, pouty lips and soft, light-colored curls that hung just barely to her shoulders. Her smile, though I'm sure it was meant to look coy, looked smug and arrogant. But it was a beautiful drawing none-the-less. I picked it up and shuffled it into a pile of papers and handed it to the boy, who I knew was Edward.

"Here…" I said as he eyed them. He took them swiftly from my hands and muttered what I assumed was a reluctant "Thanks,". I was about to get up when Peter, who'd called my name before my run-in, held out his dark hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet.

"Are you okay?" he asked in his middle-eastern accent.

"Yeah, thanks." I said. I glanced down at Edward, who had all of his papers gathered up and was straightening them out, before heading down to the dining\hall with Peter.

Peter sat next to me during breakfast, talking about some movie that was supposed to be coming out about the time he was set to leave the hospital. I think. I don't know, it might've been a book. I wasn't exactly paying attention. I was currently trying to figure out how I was going to get to know this Edward guy when he was clearly not here to make any friends. Quite frankly, he was pretty intimidating. It wasn't because was attractive. My self-esteem and confidence were higher than the average teenage girl's. It wasn't because of his "holier than thou" attitude that he exuded in his facial expressions and his swagger. I know I could be - and had been - accused of being the same way at times. And it definitely wasn't because he was so much taller than me. _Everybody_ was taller me.

No, there was something there in his green eyes that made me uneasy. Something about him made me feel on display and embarrassed, as if he'd read my diary (if I'd had one) and knew all of my dirty little secrets, all the skeletons in my closet.

I had to know him.

After breakfast we were to work on school work. I was excited to learn that he, too, was from Forks. But I'd only attended Forks High School for one day. After I'd come home from school, I'd had a vivid vision and gone completely catatonic on the living room floor for nearly an hour. The vision wasn't even that important. Just a really, intense vision of a blizzard that was supposed to hit sometime in the late winter. It freaked my foster parents out, so they decided to take me to the hospital in Forks that night. The doctor there suggested a psychological evaluation and I was admitted to the psyche ward there in Forks. But after a month, my visions became more and more vivid (and harder to hide) so I was sent here to Seattle after it was clear that their therapies weren't "helping" me. I'd now been here for nearly two and a half months and it finally seemed that my "hallucinations" were becoming less frequent. Maybe I'd actually get to escape this place soon.

Chester was tutoring me and helping me finish my school work so I could get the credits for first semester. I guess he'd asked Edward if he wanted to join us but apparently he said he was "perfectly fucking capable on his own."

It wasn't until our hour and a half of free time that I found a way to reach out to him. I'd remembered in one of the visions I'd had of him, one where he was lying on his bed watching a movie with a drop-dead gorgeous honey-blonde girl, that he was smoking a cigarette. Yes! I crossed my fingers and hoped that he had an open mind and was good at keeping secrets.

I peeked out the door of my room and searched for any staff members in the hallway. I didn't know which room was his so I pulled my head back into my room and leaned against the wall, allowing my eyes to unfocus and letting my brain detach itself from my surroundings.

Suddenly, as if he were truly right in front of me, I could see him sitting cross-legged on his bed. He was chewing on the end of a pencil, had ear buds from an iPod stuck in his ears and was staring at a piece of paper with girly handwriting scrawled across the page. One side of the note had fringe on it that suggested that it'd been torn from a notebook. I backed up and ghosted through the closed door to see the number on it. 1320. Funny, his room was right next to mine. I looked to the right and saw my door slightly ajar, just as I had left it before entering my vision. I looked a little harder through my open door and saw a small person standing rigid against the wall. Though it was just a silhouette, I knew that I was seeing myself as I looked in that exact moment. Weird. I'd never seen myself having a vision in a vision before. It was kinda cool.

I snapped back to reality and peeked out my door again, looking at the place where I had just been standing in my vision. There were still no staff members within sight so I quickly flitted out of my room and tapped on the door next to my own. No answer. No sound of movement from within. I knocked again anxiously. Still, nothing. _Screw it,_ I thought as I opened the door myself and scurried inside, closing it behind me. I heard a sigh of irritation and a smooth-sounding voice spoke to me.

"What do you want from me, Alice?"

I jumped at the sound of my name and turned to look at him. How the heck…? But I assumed he'd heard someone else say it. So I decided to play his game.

"I'm here to make peace, _Edward_." I replied. "You'd be surprised at how much I know about you and I'm hoping that in giving you a chance to feed your nicotine addiction, you'll let me know you more."

He studied my expression carefully. I got that weird, embarrassed feeling again as he looked at me silently for a moment. What was he doing? Had I scared him off by giving away too much information too soon? How would he react if I told him about my visions, that I could see into the future, past and present? Would he believe me?

Then he confused me a bit as his expression turned from one of distaste at my intrusion into one of amusement. "You're a clairvoyant?" he said as more of a statement than a question. A small smile tugged at the sides of his mouth. I was taken aback. How had he come to that conclusion so fast?

"And you're a mind-reader?" I asked jokingly. But much to my surprise, he nodded.

"Yeah, I am, actually."

We stared at each other from across the room for a second. The situation would've been pretty funny if it hadn't been so unbelievably odd. After what seemed like an hour (but was probably closer to twenty seconds), I had a small vision of Chester coming to my room to take me up to the roof. I usually had a cigarette at about this time everyday. I snapped back out of it and held up one finger to Edward to let him know to hang on a second. I could hear familiar footsteps getting closer to my room next door. I cracked open Edwards door and Chester's eyes widened for a second as he came to room 1320 instead.

"Chester," I whispered. "I think Edward should join us today."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I replied. "We've got a lot to discuss."

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I seriously can't wait to bring you guys Chapter 4! Things are gonna get heated fast. =]

And as a side not, the person thinking about the new girl at the beginning of Chapter 2 was no one important. Just a random Forks resident thinking about a new girl at work. And it's not Bella. I thought I'd throw you guys for a loop by someone mentioning a hot new girl. Tee hee

My supply is running low! I must satisfy this craving for reviews and you're the only one who can do it! And I love you when you feed my addiction. =]


	4. Visitors

A/N: I'm sitting here, eating lunch, listening to my "Vampire Mix" and preparing to write you Chapter 4. And do you know what I'm thinking? Not that Chicken and Stars soup is the greatest invention ever, or how wonderful my rich, chocolate Ovaltine tastes. No, I'm thinking that I've got the best damn readers ever! Your glowing reviews make me sqeel with delight. With that in mind, I now bring you extra-long chapter goodness, starting off with some BPOV for yahz.

Enjoy. =]

P.S. Big thank you to Anya over at Twilighted for creating the first ever "Psycho" banner. It's bitchin'. If any of you guys enjoy making banners and whatnot, I'd love to see what you could do for "Psycho".

- kfm

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BPOV

I turned up the music that was already blaring way too loud through the Subaru's speakers. Then I thought better of it, figuring that I already owed my parents enough, and turned it back down a few notches. _Parent_s. I liked the plural sound. For many years of my life, I'd only ever used that word in it's plural form when I was telling people that my parents were no longer together. I'd always secretly hoped that they'd work it out. But the longer they stayed separated the more inconceivable it seemed. And yet, they somehow figured out what I'd known all along: they still loved each other. I was still surprised that they'd felt compelled to take in Alice, the daughter of my mother's ex-best friend, when their rekindled relationship was still so new. But I didn't mind. I'd known Alice for years. We'd grown up down the street from each other in Phoenix. It was nice to bring a piece of Arizona with me to Forks, Washington.

We'd spent most of the summer in our new house, except for the few times that Alice had dragged me to Seattle and Portland to go shopping. She'd only spent one day at Forks High School. Then she had what Charlie and Renee referred to as her "breakdown." Renee said that an emotional break was long overdue for Alice. It's wasn't exactly a self-esteem booster when Alice's mother said that she doesn't want her around anymore because she's crazy.

But I knew Alice wasn't crazy.

I thrummed my fingers anxiously on the steering wheel, waiting for the stupid red light to change. I could see the hospital looming just a few blocks down. I was contemplating the consequences of parking right here in the middle of the street and just walking the last two blocks to the hospital when the light finally changed. I pressed the gas pedal down and shot towards the next light, which was green.

"Stay green, stay green, stay green..." I mumbled to myself as I approached it. I sailed right through the intersection, pleased that the green light obeyed me. I pulled into the parking ramp and parked in the first open space I could. I grabbed the weekly homework I brought for Alice and ran to the hospital door, running to the elevator and hitting the button for floor 13. The elevator was sluggish, or maybe I was just anxious to see Alice. I saw her at least once a week if not more, but I still missed her like crazy. The elevator doors opened up to floor 13 and I was greeted with the dimly lit waiting area of the psyche ward. I walked to the ornery-looking woman sitting behind the counter.

"Hi," I said. "My name's Bella Swan. I'm here to visit Alice Brandon." The woman shoved a clipboard to me where I wrote my name and she filled out a visitor pass for me to wear.

"You'll need to leave those car keys here or any other sharp objects." the receptionist told me in a bored tone as she handed me my visitor pass. I gave her the keys. I already knew not to bring anything potentially dangerous in with me. "I assume you know where you're going?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I responded and headed for the door that led to the ward. A buzzing sound emitted as the electronic lock was unlocked for me. I opened the door and was greeted by a smiling face crowned with black hair in disarray all around her head.

"Bella!" She pounced on me and gave me a strong hug. Stronger than I would've thought possible for someone of her size.

"Alice!" I said, shifting the papers to one arm so I could hug her with the other. We squeezed each other for a long second before she released me and we began heading down to her room.

"So, how're things back in Forks?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "As if you wouldn't know better than I would…" I replied, referring to her uncanny ability to see everything that has happened and will happen. She stuck her tongue out at me but then grimaced.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that, actually. Why aren't you socializing like I told you to?" Alice asked me, sounding a little miffed.

"I already told you, Alice. I'm doing it in silent protest until they finally let you out of this hell hole."

"Don't socially damn yourself because of me, Bella."

"I can't do it without you, Alice. So what's the point? You've always been the social, fun-loving one and I've always been the quiet, intellectual one."

Alice narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm intellectual."

"Yeah, when it comes to knowing what colors are in this season. What is it, again, Alice? Reds?"

"Pastels, actually." she said as we entered her immaculately clean room, closing the door behind her. I sprawled across her bed and set the pile of homework on her nightstand. I looked up and scanned the Polaroid pictures taped to the wall next to her bed. I'd brought Alice her camera a couple of weeks after she was first admitted. She once told me that she loved taking pictures of the present because she spent so much time in the future and she was afraid she'd miss something. I noticed that there'd been some new additions to the collage of Polaroids. I sat up on my knees with my back to Alice to look them over. I traced over one, which was definitely new.

"Who's this?" I asked without looking away from the new pictures. My fingers touched photos of an unfamiliar boy. I'd guessed that he was new to the ward because I definitely would've noticed him before. I couldn't remember any time that I'd ever met a real guy this… well, pretty. He had the palest complexion and deep circles beneath his eyes which were a vibrant shade of green. They were the color of jade. His unusual bronze-colored hair was unkempt, but it appeared to be intentional. His lips were full and his jaw line and cheek bones were sharp and defined.

There were three pictures of him. The first one was of him and Alice, taken from overhead. She was wearing her dazzling smile but he was blocking his face with his hand, clearly not trying to have his picture taken. The second picture looked like a retake of the first. It was the same shot, except he wasn't holding his hand in front of his face. He instead wore a small smile that he unsuccessfully tried to cover with a scowl. The last picture looked unexpected. He was sitting on a bed with his back leaned against the wall and a notebook in his lap, writing. He seemed to have ear buds in. He was completely unaware of the camera. I wondered if he even knew that the picture had been taken at all. Something about the picture made him look sad, vulnerable.

Alice walked over to the bed, looking at the pictures I was touching. She didn't say anything at first so I looked back to her. She quickly turned to me with an unexpected look of suspicion on her face.

"That's my friend Edward..." she said slowly."Why do you ask?"

"I just didn't recognize him." I shrugged.

"Uh huh, sure..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Alice paused for a moment. Her suspicious expression turned to a look of scrutiny. I held her gaze for a second, wondering why she was acting so weird. Then she sighed and smiled a little, lightening her expression.

"You wanna meet him?" she asked.

"Umm... sure?"

Her smile grew wider. "Give me a second." She was quiet for a moment. Her brown eyes went blank for a few seconds before opening them again. Her smile turned into a grimace. "Damn, he's with the psychiatrist."

I sighed in relief, though to her it probably seemed like disappointment. Yes, I wanted to meet him, only to confirm that someone that unbelievably gorgeous was actually real. Then I planned on hiding from him in the corner because, even in a photograph, his beauty was intimidating.

I slumped down on the bed and Alice sighed before joining me there.

"What's wrong?" she asked, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'm just really lonely back home. I've always had you around, Alice, for as long as I can remember. I hate this separation."

"Me, too…"

"So when do you get out of here, anyway?"

"Well," she said. "I haven't had any "episodes" in the past week. At least, none that anyone else has seen. Ann says I'm making good progress and I talked to the doctor today. So..." Her eyes went blank for a moment and her body went slightly rigid. I knew that she was searching the future again. Then she came back. "...about two more weeks, as of right now."

"Two more frickin' weeks?"

She nodded. "That's just 14 days, Bella. If we could last nearly four months, I'm sure another two weeks won't kill us."

"I guess..."

"How're Charlie and Renee?"

"They miss you, too." I said. Renee especially felt so guilty about bringing Alice here but she felt that it was the best thing she could do for her foster daughter. After a moment of silence, Alice sat up suddenly.

"I made you something. Or, several somethings, actually." she said. She went to her bedside table and grabbed a blue box that was maybe the size of a cigar box. She handed it to me and I opened it.

"They're lanyards." she said. "I got bored one day and just made a bunch of them." I laughed; reminded of the summer camp her and I went to when we were 10 year olds. We'd made a ton of them there. But there had to be seventy or eighty lanyards here!

"Gee, thanks." I said with a laugh. Alice laughed with me but suddenly looked to the door, expectant.

She began a countdown. "Three, two, one..." There was a sharp knock on the door. "Come on in, Edward." The door opened and the boy from the pictures walked through. My breathing hitched as his eyes met mine momentarily. He was taller than the pictures showed. He had to be at least 6'1". He sat down in the empty chair across the room from where I sat on the bed. I now saw how very thick and long his eyelashes were and how extremely soft his lips seemed to be. He wore a gray t-shirt and a pair of tightly fitting dark blue jeans (which he filled out oh so well).

I noticed that he seemed to be scrutinizing Alice with his expression, as if he were trying to see something that was being obscured. His eyebrows knitted together and one side of his mouth tightened in a sort of half-grimace. Alice was staring him straight in the eye with a slight smile on her face.

"Who's your friend, Alice?" he asked, suddenly turning his attention back to me.

"This is my sister, so to speak. Bella, this is my friend Edward. Edward, Bella."

"Hi..." I said lamely. He didn't say anything at first. Instead, he looked at me with a more fierce face then when he'd looked at Alice. I was even more intimidated than I'd thought I would be.

"Hey, Bella." he said finally. His voice was soft. It reminded me of silk, or maybe velvet. "Are you from that shithole Forks, too?"

"Yeah…"

"Hmm, wonder why I've never seen you there before?"

"I'm not much for socialization."

He nodded. "Me neither. What grade are you in?"

"Eleventh."

"Me, too. But you're not in any of my classes."

"I'm mostly in AP classes."

Edward snorted. "Oh, so you're one of _those_ girls."

I don't really know why, but his comment kind of offended me. "Umm, I'm not sure what you mean by 'one of _those _girls.'"

He leaned back in the chair, putting his hands behind his head. He was wearing that same look he gave Alice. It was like he was trying to see through murky water. It was almost too much. With his perfect features and intense demeanor, Edward scared the shit out of me.

"Alice?" he said as he sat up from his seat suddenly. "Come to my room after your visit." He turned his head to my sister and quirked his eyebrow as if his statement were a question. Alice nodded and Edward left the room quickly. I hadn't realized until after he'd left that I'd been holding my breath almost the entire time that I'd been in Edward's presence. I let it out in big gust and turned to Alice, who was shaking her head with a small smile spread across her face. She seemed amused. How could anyone be amused after being around such a daunting person?

"So, what did you think?" she asked me, still wearing that smile. What did I think? Umm, that I'd never felt more self-conscious in my whole life!

"Alice, I don't know how you can get along with some people."

She laughed. "Yeah, he _does_ seem a little threatening, doesn't he?

"A little?" I questioned.

"Okay, really threatening…" she amended. "But that's just a front. I know I've only known him a week, and he _does_ have some issues, but Edward's a decent person. And he believes me."

My eyes widened, knowing what she was referring to. "Really?" Alice nodded and I had to soften a little bit towards Edward. So maybe he scared the crap out of me, but he believed that Alice wasn't crazy. That has to count for something, right? But then I remembered that he's in a psyche ward, so _he_ probably is crazy. "But why's he in here?" I asked.

Alice shook her head. "I know what you're thinking and no, he's not crazy. Edward's got a secret of his own, kinda like me, but it's not my secret to tell."

"He can see the future?" I asked.

"Please," she said with a small chuckle. "He's not _that_ cool."

--------------------

EPOV

My first week in the psyche ward wasn't quite as bad I thought it would be. I met Alice and Chester that first day and they both actually fucking believed me. Alice even had a secret, too, which I knew to be the truth. I don't know if Alice and I would've gotten along if we hadn't had those secrets that sort of bound us to each other. But if weren't for her, my time in the psyche ward would've been so much worse. Alice taught me the one trick to getting out of here: play the game, because no one's going to believe you. So I did. I played the damn game.

And there were definitely parts that I didn't like. It was so much harder to sleep here at night than it was at home. I could hear thoughts from all over the psyche ward and a few of the floors below it. The thoughts from my floor were the loudest. Most of them made no sense. I tried concentrating on Alice's sane thoughts to help block out the noise but the crowd of other thoughts was too much. I couldn't sleep and they had me on Ambien by my fourth night. It barely helped.

And on Saturday, when I had my first evaluation with Dr. Reed since being admitted, I fed the doctor bullshit. Knowing what he wanted to hear made it easy to make it sound like I was really getting "better." Near the end of my session, I heard Alice's thoughts float to me down the hall.

_Edward, when you're done with your eval, come to my room…_

I wanted to know why. Sometimes I really fucking hated the fact that this thing only worked one way. But I _did_ like that my thoughts remained private. So after the doctor shook my hand and told me that he was glad to see that I've "made some progress", I headed down to Alice's room. I sauntered through her door into that fucking spotless room of hers and was surprised to find that she was not alone. When the girl on her bed looked up at me with her big brown eyes, I realized that she was familiar, though I'd never actually met her before.

A day or two earlier, Alice and I had been sitting in her room working on homework. Normally, guys and girls would never be allowed into each other's rooms, but Chester pulled a few strings and got the staff to make an exception, as long as the door was left open. They treated us like fucking five year-olds.

We'd had our books spread across the floor and while Alice and I compared answers on our Trig assignment, I kept getting distracted by the pictures she'd taped to her wall. I rolled my eyes at the pictures she'd taken of me, remembering the fight I'd put up when she first tried to take one. I eventually let her. But I was more curious about the pictures of people that I didn't recognize. I asked Alice about them and she put names to the faces.

And as I looked at the girl sitting on Alice's bed, I realized that there were many pictures of her taped to Alice's wall. There was something strange about her but I noticed this at about the same time that I noticed Alice's thoughts were being filled with nonsense. She was singing some annoyingly bouncy song in her head that I didn't recognize, just like she did when she was trying to hide her thoughts from me. She was the only one clever enough to figure out how to do so. I looked her square in the eye, willing her to tell me what she was hiding. I caught a glimpse of something in a dark room but Alice's thoughts focused back on the annoying song too fast for me to understand what I'd caught a glimpse of. So I gave up for the moment and asked Alice about her friend, though I knew who she was. Alice introduced us.

"This is my sister, so to speak. Bella, this is my friend Edward. Edward, Bella." Alice said. I looked the new girl, Bella, in the eye, listening for her thoughts.

But none came.

So I concentrated harder. I asked her a few trivial questions in the hopes that maybe she was just air-headed or slow and maybe a few questions would get her brain working.

But there was still nothing.

This bitch was blocking me out.

How? No one had ever been able to block me out completely. And why would she have any reason to? Had Alice told her about my mind-reading? I sat up, feeling frustrated, and told Alice to come to my room after Bella left.

I sat in my room, still attempting to concentrate on the thoughts of the girl next door. But I might as well have been trying to concentrate on the thoughts of a fucking brick wall for all the progress I made. So I watched the conversation from Alice's point-of-view. Apparently, she hadn't told Bella my secret, but I was still sure that Bella knew. Why the fuck else would she be blocking me out so completely? What did she have to hide from someone that she doesn't even know?

I sat on my bed and listened to my iPod while I waited for Alice to come talk to me. I really wished that I had my guitar. My fingers were itching to play it. After about a half an hour, Alice slipped into my room and sat on the edge of my bed so lightly that if I hadn't heard her thoughts I might not've known she was there at all. I turned off my iPod and sat up, watching Alice yank at a loose string on my comforter.

"So?" I asked.

"What?" She looked up at me quizzically.

"Bella…" I replied simply. Alice's thoughts flashed back to the dark room but were again pushed away by that fucking song that was so bubbly and happy that I wanted to bash my fucking head in.

"What about Bella?" she asked me. She had this little grin on her face that suggested she knew something, probably whatever she was trying to keep from me.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked. "What are the two of you hiding from me?"

Alice looked confused. "What? Okay, _I_ might have a secret but Bella isn't keeping anything from you. She just met you. And she doesn't even know about the mind-reading thing."

"Then why is she blocking her thoughts?"

The song in Alice's head stopped and her thoughts were suddenly confused. _I don't know... She's really blocking her thoughts from you?_ she asked me silently. I nodded.

"She does it even better than you can. I focus in on her and I can't hear a fucking thing. It's like her mind is completely blank or some shit." I told her.

_Well, I don't know what to tell you, Edward…_

I would've thought she was lying but even if Alice was the lying type, I'd found that people couldn't lie as easily in their thoughts as they did to your face. So I believed her and I told myself that it wasn't a big deal.

My second week in the psyche ward dragged on slowly. I'd gotten several calls from my family and they promised to come visit me on Christmas Day, which was that Wednesday. I could tell Esme felt horrible that I'd be in the hospital for the holidays, but truthfully, I really couldn't have given a fuck less.

But at the moment it was only Monday and Alice, Chester and I were sitting on the roof of the hospital smoking cigarettes. It'd sort of become routine. Every break, the three of us would meet at Alice's room and we'd sneak up to the roof the second Alice told us it was safe to go.

"So, Alice told me that your family is coming to visit you for Christmas…" Chester said as he exhaled the cigarette smoke. The sun was actually shining, so Chester and I sat next to the ledge as Alice soaked in the sunshine on the other side of the air conditioning unit. She said she wanted some "Alice Time".

"Yeah…" I nodded. I liked Chester but I was never sure how to keep a conversation going with him. Even with my extra advantage I was no conversationalist.

"Alice is pretty excited about it." he said.

"Why?"

Chester laughed. "I would've thought that'd been obvious." I had no fucking clue what he was he was talking about. I decided to tell him that.

"I have no fucking clue what you're talking about."

"Umm, that whole Jasper situation..."

"What whole Jasper situation?" I asked, probably sounding a little madder than I meant to.

_Uh oh,_ I heard him think. _Maybe she didn't tell him._

"Tell me what?!"

"Look," he said. "Maybe you should just ask Alice herself. I don't know if she'd want me to tell you." I was on my feet in an instant. What the hell was Alice keeping from me now? Is this what she was hiding from me the other day? I ran over to Alice to ask her what the hell was going on. She was lying down on the gravel with sunglasses on. She noticed my tense posture and she sat up with a look of concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"What aren't you telling me about Jasper?" She looked surprised.

"Oh, umm… damn. Did Chester say something?" she asked. I nodded. Alice sighed and took off her sunglasses. "Don't worry, it's not bad." she reassured me. I relaxed a little bit. So it wasn't bad, but then why would she feel the need to keep it from me?

"Just fucking spit it out, then." I told her. She nodded.

"Okay, well, let me start from the beginning. Edward, if I'd never started having my visions, I'd be a very different person." she said. "The people I knew back in Arizona all became partiers before we even hit high school. And I've done some partying, but there are some things that I never wanted to do because I knew I wanted to wait.

"A lot of my friends were having sex and they never understood why I didn't want to. But I was waiting for the right person. I know that sounds corny but it's not… at least, it's not when you know who the right person is. A lot of my girlfriends thought that they'd found the right person, but they hadn't. But I've seen who the right person is for me. I had a vision of him. It was actually one of my first visions."

Alice didn't say anything. She didn't have to. I saw her vision as she replayed it in her head. A vision of her… and Jasper. Holding hands. Kissing. And… gross. I didn't want to see my brother fucking.

"So, Jasper's going to be your first?" I asked.

"As of right now," she said. "…yes. The path that I'm on right now will lead me to Jasper."

"So, why didn't you just tell me?"

"I just…" She sighed. "I just didn't want you to think that I was using you to get to Jasper."

I snorted. "Please, Alice. We both know that you and I probably wouldn't have been friends under normal circumstances. And I don't blame you. If you and Jasper will make each other happy then I'm fucking happy for you, really." And I meant it. Jasper was basically my brother and Alice was very quickly becoming one of my favorite people.

"So, you're okay with me hitting on your brother this Wednesday?"

"You have my blessing."

"Thanks, Edward. That's the best Christmas present anyone could ever give me. Really."

"Mmm hmm."

I slumped down next to her as I finished my cigarette. We sat in silence for a moment and I heard her thoughts drifting. But then I caught a glimpse once again of the dark room that Alice was always trying not to tell me about. I was surprised when she didn't try to cover it up again with that fucking annoying song. I noticed for the first time that the dark room was _my_ room. And not my room in the psyche ward, but my bedroom back home in Forks. I saw myself sitting cross-legged on my bed. There was someone else there on my bed too, but they weren't clear like the rest of the vision. The person was blurry, like a watercolor painting with too much water. I looked over at Alice, who was staring right back me.

"There's someone out there for you, too, you know…" she said.

I shook my head. "There's only one girl I want to be with, but she wants to be with everyone else." I told her. "There's no one out there for me."

Alice messed up my already messed hair. "Quit being so sullen, Edward Cullen."

I ruffled her black hair right back. "Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"I'm serious, though. She's out there. You know why the image is so blurry?" she asked. I shook my head. Of course I didn't. "It's because you have to let her in. You have to let yourself fall for her, too."

"What if I don't want love?"

"Of course you want love. Everyone wants love." Alice scoffed.

"Whatever…"

"Hey, guys…" Chester said as he appeared from around the other side of the air conditioning unit. "We gotta head back." Alice and I got up and walked with Chester down to the ward.

Tuesday came and went and finally it was Wednesday. I was pretty fucking sure that Alice was more psyched about it than I was. I could hear my family's thoughts as they approached the hospital. It was easier to hear them from a distance because I knew the sound of their voices so well. I noticed immediately that Carlisle was not with them. I figured that he probably pussied out like a bitch. Didn't want to see how big of a douche he was by sending me here. I honestly didn't know if I preferred his absence or not.

"Edward!" Esme exclaimed once she saw me. She threw her arms around my neck and squeezed tightly as she kissed my cheek. "Merry Christmas…"

"Merry Christmas, Esme…" I said as I hugged her back. I saw Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper standing behind her by the door. Esme finally released me and Rose took her place by giving me a quick hug. I wasn't used to Rosalie showing me any kind of affection. Our new bond must've been stronger than I'd thought. Emmett and Jasper both gave me the hand-clasp, half hug and I headed down to my room with my family trailing behind me. Chester stopped us on the way.

"Hey, Edward. Is this your family?" I nodded and introduced them all. Chester asked Esme if he might speak to her privately so he whisked her away to his office. I'd actually asked Chester to do this earlier so I'd have a chance to talk to my brothers and sister without Esme there to hinder the conversation.

Just as I knew she would be, Alice was sitting on my bed with a big smile on her face as I entered my room. I watched her expression as Emmett, Rosalie and finally, Jasper entered.

The moment Jasper entered the room I watched Alice's face light up. From what she'd told me on the roof the other day, Alice had been waiting for this moment for a long-ass time. I sat down on the bed next to her. Rose and Emmett took the chair across from us and Jasper found a spot on top of the trunk in the corner of the room.

"That your girlfriend, Edward?" Emmett asked with a smile. I shook my head.

"Guys, this is Alice. She's a good friend of mine." Jasper locked eyes with Alice. I saw in his thoughts that he recognized her. Apparently he'd seen Alice on the first day of school, the only day that she'd attended.

"Hey, guys…" she said with a small wave.

"You going to tell them, or do you want me to?" I asked her. She knew what I was talking about.

"You do it."

"Okay," I turned back to my family. "So, Alice is kind of in the same fucked up situation as me. She's not crazy, but everyone thinks she is." I heard the skepticism in their thoughts, but no one said anything. "Alice is a clairvoyant. She has visions."

"Of what?" Jasper asked. I was about to answer him before I realized that he was not asking me.

"Of everything..." Alice told him. "The past, present and future."

"Cool…" Jasper replied.

"I think so." Alice said with a small smile.

"So, can you like… see what's about to happen?" Rosalie asked.

Alice nodded. "Yeah, in about one minute and thirty-seven seconds your mom is going to come into the room." And of course, we waited for exactly one minute and thirty-seven seconds in silence until Esme joined us. Emmett grinned, Rosalie raised her eyebrows and nodded in agreement and Jasper just stared at Alice in amazement with a small smirk.

The visit felt awkward at certain moments, like whenever I mentioned anything that reminded my family that I was in a nut house. So we mostly avoided talking about me, which I didn't really mind. I was given a few presents (which would've made me fucking pissed before but the mood-stabilizers seemed to be having an effect on me because I rarely lost my temper anymore). Rosalie gave me a $100 iTunes gift card and Emmett and Jasper bought me a bunch of books filled with sheet music of my favorite bands' songs. Jasper had also brought me my guitar.

And if I hadn't already known that Esme was feeling guilty about me being here, the notebook computer that she'd bought me for Christmas (but was currently sitting at home, waiting for me) would've been all the proof I needed. It didn't escape my attention that she'd told me it was from her _and _Carlisle. So, the fucker was feeling guilty, too.

Once my visitors had left, I opened up my guitar case and admired its contents. It was an acoustic Epiphone Masterbilt. Thought it wasn't the best of the four guitars that I owned, it was my first and by far my favorite. While falling in love with a woman again was inconceivable, falling in love with music was easy and right. I ran my fingers up the lines in the wood grains of the solid rosewood and Sitka spruce body before pulling it out of the case. I tuned it and began absent-mindedly plucking away at the strings, playing one of my favorite songs.

I lost myself in the music. Every outside noise was inaudible to me while I played. I hadn't experienced a true mental break like this in months. My eyelids slowly drifted shut and I fell asleep without the aid of any sleeping pills.

Thursday and Friday were business as usual. Therapy, meals, homework with Alice and smoke breaks on the roof. On Saturday, I had my second evaluation and it marked the end of week two of my stay in the psyche ward. I "played the game" and fed the doctor more bullshit. It was too easy. The doctor said that I might even be let out of this place early.

After my evaluation, I headed to my room to mess with my guitar and the new sheet music that my brothers had given me. I was working on "Master of Puppets" by Metallica when I noticed that someone had stopped in front of my open door. Fuck, why hadn't I closed that? But then I took in the slender frame and long, dark brown hair of the person standing just outside of my door way. My sight was finally greeted with the chocolate brown of my voyeur's eyes. It was Alice's sister, Bella.

And she was still hiding her thoughts from me.

What the fuck, woman? I was about to confront her about it when she suddenly spoke.

"Was that you I heard playing on Christmas?" she asked in a small voice while gesturing towards the guitar in my lap. She almost sounded afraid.

"Yeah…" I replied.

"It was beautiful."

"Uh, thanks…"

"You're welcome."

We stared at each other for a moment in a silence that should've been awkward, but for some reason it felt oddly natural. Then she spoke again.

"It was Bright Eyes, right? The band, I mean…"

"Yeah… You know Bright Eyes?" I asked her. Bella nodded timidly. Then she hesitated a little before asking me another question.

"Could you… Would you mind playing it again?"

"Sure…" I shrugged and waved my hand towards the chair across the room from me, indicating for her to have a seat. She seemed unsure but she shuffled over to the chair and sat on the edge. I was a little surprised that she'd even attempted talking to me. I figured that I'd probably scared her off last week.

I began playing the song and her head swayed slowly to the tempo. I realized only just then that Bella sort of made me feel uneasy. I guessed that it was probably due to the fact that her thoughts were being concealed for some reason. But I tried not to think about her. I concentrated on the guitar in my hands, instead. I became lost in the music once again. So lost, that I forgot Bella was sitting in the room with me. I actually began singing the lyrics to the song, forgetting that I wasn't alone. But then I heard Bella sigh. I quit singing and playing abruptly, a little fucking pissed that I'd let my guard down enough to sing in front of someone else. Her lack of thoughts didn't help to remind me that I wasn't alone. And then I remembered that I wanted to confront her about it.

"What're you hiding from me?" I asked her. She looked taken aback, her eyebrows knitting together and her head cocked to one side.

"What?"

"I said 'What're you hiding from me?'. Don't play dumb."

And then she looked a little fucking pissed, too. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're blocking your thoughts." I said. "Why?"

"Oh my God, Alice was wrong. You really are crazy." she retorted. Bella stood up to leave but I stood up just as quick and ran to block the door, kicking it closed with my foot. She tried to move around me but I had my back flat against the door. There was no getting past me.

"Don't you ever fucking call…" I began, but then her words truly hit me. "Wait, what do you mean 'Alice was wrong'?"

She sighed, sounding exasperated. "Not that it matters, but Alice told me that you aren't crazy, that you've got a secret like she does."

"And did she tell you what that secret is?"

Bella shook her head. "No, she told me that it wasn't her secret to tell."

I searched her face for a moment, trying to find any hint that she was lying. But she seemed to be telling the truth. I sighed.

"Well, Alice was right. I'm not crazy."

Bella snorted and folded her arms over her chest. "Well, trapping me in your room while you're staying the psyche ward isn't convincing anybody of your sanity."

"Oh," I said, suddenly realizing how very fucking bad this would look to an outsider. "I guess that's true."

"So are you going to tell me your secret?" she asked me. I noticed just then that my assumptions of her were very wrong. Up until this moment, I took her for being timid and soft-spoken. I was beginning to see that she was far from timid. Her chin had a defiant set to it and her brown eyes were narrowed in a look that said "fuck you". Had I not been at least a head taller than her, I've might been intimidated.

"Okay, yeah…" I said, remembering her question. And so I told her. I started from the beginning, the night I got fucked up and blacked out in the woods, and ended with Carlisle admitting me to the ward. As I told her my story, Bella remained quiet and her expression never changed. She only spoke after I'd finished.

"So, basically, you got all jacked up on drugs and alcohol one night and woke up as a mind-reader?"

"Believe it or not, I'm really not crazy."

She chuckled to herself. "Well, if Alice is able to see the future, then why shouldn't you be able to read minds? Besides, I trust Alice's judgment. She wouldn't believe you if it wasn't true." Then she hesitated. A look of embarrassment flashed across her face. "So, you can read my mind, then?"

I smiled wryly and shook my head. "You see, that's why I thought you were hiding shit from me. You're the first person I've met whose mind is completely silent to me."

Bella's eyes widened and the embarrassment seemed to fade instantaneously. "Really?" she asked. I nodded. "I wonder why y-" she began but was cut off by the sound of her cell phone ringing in her pocket. "Frick! That's my mom." She grabbed the cell phone from her pocket and looked at the number that was calling her. "How about we finish this conversation next week when I visit Alice?" I nodded and moved away from the door as she answered her phone. I poked my head out the door and watched as she ran towards the exit and reassured her mother that she was just leaving. I suddenly heard a voice speaking directly to me in my head.

_Ooooh, what were you two doing?_

I pulled myself back into my room and hit the wall that separated Alice's room from mine.

"Go to fucking bed, Alice." I told her with a slight smile. And then I crashed back onto my mattress, grabbed my guitar and resumed my quiet playing until sleep finally took me.

--------------------

A/N: Okay, so I'll pick back up with some more APOV next chapter. I know you guys probably want to see Alice and Jasper meeting for the first time through APOV so I'll bring it.

**Also**, the official Psycho MySpace page is up and running. I know it's probably a little premature but I got over-excited. (See what I did there with the innuendo? Hee hee) But I thought it'd be a good way for readers to stay connected and know when updates are expected. I'll also be posting sneak-peeks for upcoming chapters. I currently have the "Psycho" playlist posted as well. Check it out! The URL is **/psycho_by_kfm**

Anyways

reviews = crack

me = addict

Supply me.


	5. Love, Lust, and Short Goodbyes

A/N: So this chapter is just sort of setting up for what happens after both Alice and Edward have gone back to Forks. I wrote most of it when I was pulling an all-nighter so I hope it's as good as I intended it to be.

- kfm

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APOV

If I'd known that Edward was capable of not overreacting to the whole Jasper situation, then I might've told him about it sooner. I was pleased that he was actually okay with it. Though he rarely talked about his family, I could tell that Edward cared a great deal for his brothers. It was kind of endearing. Later that Monday, after I'd revealed to him my secret about Jasper, I'd asked him what his brother was like. We were sitting in the Big Room during our afternoon activity. Today it was stupid frickin' crafts. I made more lanyards out of that colorful plastic yarn stuff and Edward was sketching. He was drawing the same thing that he always drew, the pretty girl with the full lips and blonde, shoulder-length curls, when I asked him about Jasper.

"Well, you two are absolutely fucking perfect for each other," Edward told me with a laugh.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. I couldn't ask him questions in my head like I usually did as all the other kids from the ward were in the room with us. But the two of us still remained separate, secluded in the corner of the room, away from everyone else.

"Well, you two have something in common, first of all." He grinned. "Jasper's got his V card, too."

I was slightly taken aback. This was something I couldn't know from my visions. I guess I'd always pictured him as not being a virgin. "But, how is that even possible? He's just so…" I struggled to find the perfect word to describe Jasper. "… sexy." I figured that was as good a word as any.

"Well, shit, I don't look at him that way," Edward said with a scrunched nose. "But it's not that the girls don't like him, and it's definitely fucking not that he doesn't like the girls, either. Jasper's just a really awkward kid." Then he shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe, subconsciously, he's been waiting for the right person, too."

"Right, because so many guys wait for the right girl to come along," I scoffed. I'd like to think that Jasper was different, but I guess growing up without a father had left me with little faith in most men.

Edward shrugged again before returning his attention to his drawing. "I don't exactly blame you for having such little faith in men," he told me, reading my thoughts. He glanced up at me quickly and grinned. Then he went back to his sketch. "We _are_ all fucking pricks."

"Not all men," I corrected him. "For example, you may have this whole badass thing going on, but you, Edward Cullen, are just a big softy underneath your rough outer shell."

Edward didn't look up at me as he spoke, but I saw his face harden, his lips pressing together into a hard line. "No, Alice. Don't let the mood-stabilizers fool you. I am _definitely_ a fucking prick. Never forget that." I rolled my eyes at him but I turned back to my lanyard without responding.

I woke up on Christmas morning with more excitement than I'd ever felt on any previous Christmas. It felt like I had butterflies on steroids in my stomach and I was so giddy with anticipation that I could hardly think straight.

I'd never had a harder time getting dressed than I did that morning. I scowled at my wardrobe. What to wear? _Hey, Edward. Would you say that Jasper likes girly-girls, athletic girls, sophisticated girls, or girls with an edge?_ I knew he'd hear me.

"Just be yourself, Alice," I could hear him call from the room next to mine. Well, that wasn't the least bit helpful. _Screw it_, I thought. _I'm going for edgy._ I swear I could actually hear Edward roll his eyes on the other side of the wall. I pulled on my tightest pair of skinny jeans and a black, short-sleeved shirt with a low v-neck. I spiked my hair meticulously and lined my eyes with black liner and pale lavender eye shadow. I was still pretty pissed that we weren't allowed to wear shoes in the psyche ward. It was a silly rule that I'd never understood.

I couldn't even eat breakfast or lunch that day. I just shoved my food over to Edward, who always sat next to me. At first, he tried to protest, giving me some nonsense about how I'm "too skinny" and he'd kick my ass if I was going anorexic. But I insisted. There was no way that I'd be able to eat. And when five o'clock finally rolled around, I scurried to Edward's room, a huge smile on my face.

"It's time!" I squeaked. I was bouncing up and down. Edward put his hands on my shoulders in an effort to keep me still. His green eyes were serious as they stared into mine.

"Alice, settle the fuck down. Now, I'm going to introduce you to my brothers and sister first so that we can tell them about your little ability. You wait here on my bed until I come back. Then you can work on seducing my brother." I rolled my eyes and attempted to relax as I sat on Edward's bed. I leaned my back against his wall with a sigh. I swear I sat on that bed for hours. I fiddled with the pen that sat on the bedside table, pushing the clicky-top in and out in rapid motion. I set it back down as I suddenly heard footsteps approaching. This was it, the moment I'd been waiting for since I was 12 years old. I suddenly felt like I might puke from the anticipation.

First, Edward rounded the corner. Then a tall, muscular guy with hazel eyes and dark curls and a friendly face followed after Edward. _That's not Jasper._ Then a strikingly beautiful girl with waves of soft blonde hair, strange purplish-blue eyes and legs that went for miles walked in closely behind the muscular boy. _That's definitely not Jasper._ And then the third person entered the room.

_Jasper._

I wanted to sing. I was pretty sure I'd melted in that one, singular moment. I felt like my muddled, disappointing life suddenly made sense the second my brown eyes met his beautiful green. How could life _not_ suddenly make sense? It had led me to this person, the most perfect of them all. I admired the subtle waves of his honey-colored locks, the soft angles of his jaw line and the tall, lean, and strong build of his form. And fate told me that he was destined to be mine.

I'd forgotten all others. The room had disappeared. Even when Edward asked me a question (I'd had no idea what he'd asked me), I'd given him a simple answer, not even really hearing what I'd told him. I was so lost in the dream that was Jasper Hale that it had escaped my notice that he was gazing directly into my eyes, as well. And he spoke, his voice soft and yet gravely.

"Of what?" he asked me. And even though I hadn't been listening to the conversation, I knew what he wanted to know.

"Of everything…" I told him. "The past, present and future."

"Cool," he told me.

"I think so," I replied.

I was pulled away from our moment by a question from the girl. Rosalie. That was her name. "So, can you like… see what's about to happen?" she asked me. I nodded.

"Yeah, in about one minute and thirty-seven seconds your mom is going to come into the room," I told her. And of course, I was right. I turned my attention back to Jasper as the precision of my gift was proved accurate. He was still meeting my gaze with intensity. A breath-taking smile broke out across his face as our moment continued.

I tried to avoid being too antisocial. I talked when I felt my input was necessary, but my gaze never strayed from Jasper for too long when I did. I really couldn't say how long this lasted. At some point, I noticed movement from somewhere in the vicinity. I realized that the others were getting up to leave. Was it really time for them to go? Didn't they just get here? I watched as Jasper reluctantly stood up from his spot on the trunk across the room from me. At this point I tried, I mean really tried, to pull my eyes away from him, but it was a hopeless battle with my self-control. Even as he left the room, he too had a hard time looking away, it seemed. Jasper only broke away to glance ahead of him as he walked out the door of Edward's room, so that he didn't run into anything or anyone.

After his family had left, Edward joined me back on his bed. "What the hell was that?" he asked curiously.

_I have no idea…_

"I had a hard time concentrating, you know. Yours and Jasper's thoughts were loud as fuck. And it wasn't even words, just this overwhelming feeling." Edward shook his head.

_My bad._ I was still in a daze.

"Hey," Edward said, shaking my shoulder in an attempt to make me snap out of it. "Do you really not have anyone coming to visit you tonight? It's fucking Christmas, for Christ's sake."

"Oh, crap!" I squealed. I relaxed myself and left the present, searching for the moment when my new family would be here. They'd be on the thirteenth floor in less than a minute. I pulled myself back into the here and now and jumped off of Edward's bed, flying down the hall to the main entrance. Forty-seven seconds later Bella, Charlie and Renee walked through the door. "Merry Christmas!" I exclaimed and I threw my arms around each of them.

We sat in my room and enjoyed a small family Christmas. I loved watching Charlie and Renee holding hands in a quiet symbol of love. It was something my own mother never got to experience. Though it still hurt to be thrown out of my home, I couldn't help but feel sorry for my mom. I don't think she really understood what it was to love and sacrifice for those you felt love for. Her childhood was nothing, if not horrible. She grew up in a trailer with five siblings and alcoholic parents. It was amazing that my mother had done as well for herself as she did with the odds against her like they were.

About the time my family was leaving, music began emanating from the room next to mine, Edward's room. I watched as Bella's ears perked. She recognized the song.

"Hey, that sounds like 'No One Would Riot for Less'," she said with a slight smile.

"Yeah, Edward must be playing his guitar," I figured.

"Edward's a musician?" Bella asked. I nodded. She snorted. "Yeah, I should've figured." I smirked a little. Bella had no idea how easily read she was. From the moment she asked about him when she saw his picture on my wall, I knew that Bella was attracted to Edward. I mean, I didn't blame her. If I hadn't only had eyes for Jasper, I might've made a pass at Edward. Okay, so I _definitely_ would've made a pass at him, but he was nothing more than a good friend to me now.

My new, little family left me then. The day had been everything I'd hoped for and then some. I lay back on my bed, hands behind my head and a smile on my face. It wasn't long before my eyes fluttered closed. I dreamed sweet dreams of green eyes the color of emeralds as a guitar played softy, a soundtrack to my happiness.

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BPOV

I stared at the blank computer screen before me. The time was 1:37 a.m. and the first day back to school from Winter Break started in less than six and a half hours. That meant that, in order to be up in time for school, my alarm to wake me would be going off in less than five hours. I mean, it's not like I was going to fall asleep anytime soon, not after taking that caffeine pill (that was now giving me the jitters). I wasn't a druggie by any stretch, but my report was due today, five pages or more on Genetic theories. There was no way I could afford any sleep tonight.

Fuck. You. AP Biology.

I was already failing this class and I desperately needed to do well on this report, otherwise I'd be dropped down to high school level Bio. God forbid.

I would not admit to myself the reason behind my lack of report. I would not admit that I was just a tad bit too excited about going to visit Alice in the hospital, just like I'd been doing at least once a week for the past five months. I would not admit that it had anything to with green eyes and bronze, unkempt hair. I told myself that it had nothing to do with a certain tall, pale and handsome boy. A boy who gave me goose bumps with the sound of his rich voice. A boy who scared the living shit out of me and made me want to go to my happy place. A boy who, more and more, I was finding _in_ my happy place. A boy who could read minds, any mind, but for one exception.

This shit was getting out of hand. I'd met him all of two times, and on both occasions he'd shown me plenty of hostility. I had no right to fantasize about Edward. I had no business whatsoever to talk to him again tomorrow when I'd visit my best friend. He probably didn't even like me much. And he was far too good-looking to be single. He must have a girlfriend.

Although, he _was_ in the psyche ward, and I'd never seen a lot of girls lined up to date a crazy person, no matter how beautiful and perfect that crazy person might be.

_Stop that!_ I scolded myself. I'd always managed to have some form self-control. Where was it now, when I needed it most? I found myself wanting him in ways that I'd rarely ever wanted anyone before. I mean, it wasn't as if I was still a virgin or anything, but sex wasn't exactly high up on my list of priorities. For me, it was sort of a "been there, done that" type of situation. But Edward…

I banged my head against the keyboard several times, trying to dispel the dirty thoughts I was having about a guy I hardly knew. I felt like a mental slut. I brought my head back up and looked at the gibberish that my forehead had typed on the screen.

'Y6wrrrrrrr7u8y6y67hybvgyy6y8uc5;'98un../"?efrtt6yuloutytt6ire4rrertyy67'

Well, at least my report was no longer blank. That's a start, right? No, I was being ridiculous. _Come on, Bella. Do work._ I deleted the randomness from the screen and forced myself to concentrate on the Biology book on my desk. I began typing.

'Spontaneous generation (or equivocal generation) is an outdated theory with reference to the random creation of life from inanimate matter, and it is believed that this process was…'

I realized that I was copying the textbook word-for-word. Fuuuck meee haaard. Time to grab the thesaurus. My mind drifted back to one week ago.

I'd come to see Alice again three days after Christmas. Because the 25th had been a family affair, Alice and I hadn't really had an opportunity to have some true "girl time". I spent most of the time listening to her gush about Jasper, but she suddenly changed the subject on me.

"You've got a thing for him, don't you?" Alice asked me, nodding her head in the direction of the wall with the pictures. There was the sound of a guitar playing softly on the other side of it.

"What? Who?" I asked her quizzically; though, I was pretty sure I already knew whom she was referring to.

Alice rolled her eyes at me. "Don't act so innocent. You know exactly who I'm talking about. You've been glancing at his picture for the past hour."

"Please, Alice," I scoffed. "I don't have a _thing_ for Edward. Sure, he's really good-looking, but I've met him all of one time. And he was a total ass."

Alice raised one eyebrow at me. "Oh, yeah? Then why did you start smiling like that when you said his name?" I suddenly realized the soft smile that had crept across my lips and quickly made it disappear. Alice grinned deviously back at me, her little hands clasping together.

"Alright, you don't then," she told me in a disbelieving tone.

I meant to go straight to my car as I opened Alice's door to leave, but the second I did the music that'd been coming from the room next door became louder and slightly intoxicating. I closed Alice's door behind me after blowing her a kiss. I started to walk past the open door of the room next to Alice's, but I stopped when I caught sight of him.

It'd been a week since the first and only time I'd met Edward. It was amazing how much a week could make a person's memory fade so much. I stood in his door way, leaning against the frame, mesmerized. He was playing a familiar-sounding rock song but it sounded soft and sad coming from an acoustic guitar. But then he stopped when he noticed me staring and stared right back at me with green eyes that were beautiful enough to make my heart stop.

I scrambled for something, anything, to say to him. What was there to say? How could I make this moment less awkward? I could sense that he was about to say something, probably nothing I wanted to hear, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Was that you I heard playing on Christmas?" I blurted out. He seemed slightly taken aback.

"Yeah…" he responded slowly.

"It was beautiful." Perhaps complementing him would make him soften up some.

"Uh, thanks…" he responded awkwardly.

"You're welcome."

I struggled for something else to say. I thought back to the song, thinking that this was a safe subject. His emerald eyes were unreadable as they looked into mine. I was momentarily dazed by the way the shadows beneath his eyes made them even more beautiful, for some odd reason; sort of dangerous and deep.

"It was Bright Eyes, right? The band, I mean…" I asked him, attempting to pull myself out of the trance his eyes put me in.

"Yeah…" Edward replied, sounding somewhat surprised. "You know Bright Eyes?"

_They're only one of the greatest Indie bands of all time!_ I wanted to tell him. Instead, like an idiot, I simply nodded. I desperately wanted to hear the song again. My Bright Eyes c.d. was scratched to all hell and the song Edward had played was one of my favorites. I decided to suck it up and ask him.

"Could you… Would you mind playing it again?" I wondered in a small voice. I was internally kicking myself. Why was I so nervous about asking him this? What the hell did I care if he was a prick? It's not like he was anyone important to me. But much to my surprised, he said that he didn't mind and indicated for me to come into his room and sit. So I walked over to the chair and sat. With Edward. In his room. Just the two of us.

Edward began plucking away at the strings in a manner that seemed almost reverent. In my head, I could hear the violins come in at the right moment. And then, much to my surprise, he started to sing.

"_Death may come invisible or in the holy wall of fire, in the breath between the markers on some black I-80 mile…"_

His voice was stunning. It was almost too much. I watched his long, pale, delicate fingers caress the guitar strings with a certain kind of veneration as a couple of maverick locks of bronze hair fell into his eyes. I thought back to the day I met him and how I'd wondered if he was crazy. I agreed now with what Alice had told me then. He wasn't crazy. How could anyone this… perfect be crazy? And then I sighed as he sang my favorite line.

"_S__o love me now, hell is coming. You kiss my mouth, hell is here..."_

Edward's playing stopped abruptly. I wondered what I'd done wrong until he spoke.

"What are you hiding from me?" he asked in a strange tone.

"What?" I asked him, confused. He rolled his eyes.

"I said 'What're you hiding from me?'. Don't play dumb."

What the hell? I'd only met him once before and he thinks I'm hiding something from him? It kind of pissed me off.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him, incredulous.

"You're blocking your thoughts. Why?" he demanded. So it appeared that I'd jumped the gun on thinking that Edward wasn't crazy because what he was saying made absolutely no sense.

"Oh my God, Alice was wrong. You really are crazy." I told him. I stood up abruptly and head towards the door. Edward was two steps ahead of me. He kicked the door closed and pressed his back up against it. I attempted to grab the handle but it was no use. He made a great roadblock. He glared down at me and I returned his look with the same intensity.

"Don't you ever fucking call…" he started to say but then he changed his mind. "Wait, what do you mean 'Alice was wrong'?" I sighed.

"Not that it matters," I said to him. "But Alice told me that you aren't crazy, that you've got a secret like she does." He quirked an eyebrow at me as I said this, his expression cautious.

"And did she tell you what that secret is?" he asked.

"No, she told me that it wasn't her secret to tell."

Edward gazed at me for a moment, as if he was looking for something hidden. As I returned his critical gaze, I noticed how very close our bodies were. Those two rebellious locks of hair still fell in his jade eyes. I wondered if he noticed them. We were close enough that I could simply reach up and brush them back with my fingers. But I was sure that, even if I had the nerve to, they would fall right back down again.

And his _scent_. A clean smell came from Edward's skin, like soap from his shower. But it mingled with the subtle smell of his body spray. Axe, maybe Tag? It was defiantly a typical scent that a teenage boy would wear, but Edward made it smell exotic and new.

I was weak in the knees. And then he spoke, bringing me back to the situation at hand.

"Well, Alice was right," he told me. "I'm not crazy."

I had to suppress a laugh. It came out as a snort. This situation didn't speak very well for his sanity. I decided to tell him that.

"Well, trapping me in your room while you're staying the psyche ward isn't convincing anybody of your sanity." He seemed to agree with what I was saying.

"Oh, I guess that's true."

I smirked. "So are you going to tell me your secret?" I asked.

I was brought back to the present. Two hours and fifteen minutes had passed and I'd copied the entire chapter on Genetic Theories, with the exception of every other word (which I cleverly changed into a synonym of the original word). I glanced at the clock in the corner of the computer screen. It was 3:45 a.m. I needed to start getting ready for school in no more than two hours and forty-five minutes.

I took an extra-long shower. I stood under the spigot and let the hot water run down my body for a long while before washing my hair. The heat relaxed me somewhat as I thought about the day ahead of me.

And school sucked. As usual. I was fidgety and anxious all day. And that Mike kid and his buddies kept looking over at me at lunch again. As I hopped into my mom's Subaru after school (wondering idly when she'd get fed up and just buy me a car of my own) I tried to calm myself down. _It's no big deal. You don't even have to see him._ But I _wanted_ to see him, and that's what bothered me the most.

--------------------

EPOV

"Alice, you can't fucking leave me."

"I'll still *huff* be here *huff* in the *huff* mornings," she told me as she ran on the treadmill. She took a swig from her water bottle and wiped the beading sweat from her forehead. Alice was the only one taking this shit seriously. We all headed down to the little gym on the 11th floor for our evening activity today. I lifted a few weights and shit but that was the most I ever did. And no one ever made me do anything else. I think the night staff was slightly afraid of me. Maybe it was because of the minor freak out I'd had on one of them my first week here. But seriously, what American teenager wouldn't freak the fuck out if they were told that they couldn't have caffeine?

But Alice was leaving me today and I would be alone. I still had another week and a half left until I got to go home, too.

"It's not the same. You'll leave at three o'clock every day. Who the hell am I supposed to sit by during dinner?" Alice turned off the machine and sat down on the bench press seat next to me, trying to catch her breath.

"There's always Sandra," she told me once her breath had slowed down enough. I rolled my eyes. That little emo bitch had been making eyes at me since my first day here.

"Fuck that," I said. "I won't go to dinner if that's my only option."

"Like they'd actually let you get away with that," Alice responded.

"If I throw a big enough fit…" I said with a grin. Alice narrowed her eyes at me.

"What did I tell you? If you want to get out of here fast, you-"

"I have to play the game. Yeah, yeah," I finished for her. And yes, I did want to get out of here as soon as fucking possible. I wanted my life to get back to normal, or as normal as it could get, at least.

"Now, come on," she said as she stood up abruptly. "Bella will be here soon to come get me." She grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I hadn't noticed that everyone else was filing through the door to head back to the ward. I let Alice pull me to the elevators and fuckin-a, she was strong.

Alice and I waited outside of the entrance for Bella.

"Why aren't your parents coming with?" I asked. I'd never actually met Alice's parents. I thought it was pretty fucking shady that they hardly ever come to visit her, but then I remembered that my own family had only come to see me once. Carlisle hadn't visited me at all, the fucking prick.

The moment Bella came through the door Alice grabbed her by the hand and pulled the both of us along. Bella caught my eye as we were being dragged by all 110 lbs that was Alice Brandon. I threw her a smile and she returned it hesitantly. Her expressive eyes told me that there was some kind of significance behind the gesture, but I couldn't figure out why. In that moment, I really fucking hated the fact that I couldn't hear what she was thinking.

Alice pulled us into her room. It was the messiest I'd ever seen it. The pillows and blankets had been stripped from her bed, exposing the blue spring mattress beneath and her clothes were strewn everywhere.

"Guess what? You guys get to help me pack!" Alice said brightly. Bella and I groaned in unison.

"Alice," Bella said. "You told me you'd be ready to go!" Bella took a seat on the edge of the mattress and began folding the nearest clothes.

"So I lied," Alice said honestly.

"That's it. I'm going back to my room," I said I turned around for the door. "See ya tomorrow, Al." But I felt a hand grab the back of my shirt and tug me back into the room.

"You, Edward Cullen," Alice hissed as she threw me on the bed next to Bella, "will be going nowhere." She threw a fistful of shirts at me. "Now fold." I looked at the bundle of cloth in my lap and sighed. Aww, what the hell, might as well not piss Alice off.

Not that I enjoyed packing Alice's clothes, but it wasn't too bad hanging out with Alice and Bella. What the hell had this place done to me that I was hanging out with girls (with no intentions on fucking them)? And it's not that they weren't attractive. Alice _was_ pretty fucking cute, but with her plans on getting with my brother, she felt more like a sister. And Bella… she was definitely pretty in a subtle way. In fact, I was surprised at how attracted I was to her. I'd sneak a look at her when I was sure she wasn't looking, noticing how sexy her hair looked as it created a curtain around her face when she looked down. She'd sweep her hair back every once in awhile and when she did I'd catch the scent of something sweet and pleasant. Something like fruit or maybe flowers? Her shirt was just low-cut enough that if I looked at exactly the right angle, I could catch a peek of a baby blue bra that looked so good with the creamy color of her chest.

But no, I wasn't trying to fuck her. No. That was Alice's sister (sort of), no matter how much I wondered what she looked like underneath that low-cut forest green top and tight blue jeans.

"Eww, no, Alice. I'm not fucking folding this." I held up a lacy red bra. "And isn't this a little much for a virgin?" I asked her with a grin.

"Shut up, jerk," Alice said. She stuck her tongue out at me before returning to the pants she was folding.

"Damn, Edward, it's just a bra." Bella grabbed it from my hand and smiled up at me. "I'm sure it's not the first one you've ever seen," she said as she quirked a perfectly arched eyebrow at me. I quickly looked back down at the next shirt to fold trying to hide the smirk I wore. No, it was not the first bra I'd ever seen. "That's what I thought," Bella said before folding the article of clothing in question.

Alice was packed and ready to go. I helped the girls carry the large suitcases to the front entrance. Before they left, Alice threw her arms around me.

_Try not to mess this up for yourself. You've one week left. I know you can stick it out._

She let go and just smiled back at her. "You have way too fucking much faith in me, Alice." She shook her head. Before I knew it, another set of arms were around my neck. I was surprised and hesitant to return it, but then I heard her whisper into my ear and her hot breath tickling my neck sent chills up my spine.

"Thanks for being such a good friend to Alice. She really needed someone like you in the shithole."

I smiled at her as she let go of me. Then they walked through the door and I was alone.

But I could still smell that sweet scent that Bella had just left on my clothes, and I smiled.

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A/N: So I hope you guys liked it. Again, for sneak-peeks of upcoming chapters and to check out the Psycho playlist, add the official Psycho MySpace page. The url is:

myspace . com / psycho_by_kfm

Just remove the spaces, obviously.

I love reviews like a fat kid loves cake (no offense to fat kids).


	6. Contingency

A/N: So, I've finally figured out where I want this story to go. I had plenty of things to inspire me this weekend. =D

Let's just say that I spent the weekend making Darkward proud.

This is going to be the first turning point. Did I say first? Oh, yes, my darlings. There will be more than one.

Now, on with the story!

P.S. **Ahem, Don't forget to drop me a review or two!**

-kfm

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EPOV

I was in a familiar place; the edge of the woods by the Bogachiel River. The water splashed loudly behind me as I searched into the trees. Searching for what? And it was difficult to see. The moonlight and tall fir trees cast eerie shadows where my eyes tried to focus. And the moon itself was too bright. To look at it was like staring into the sun.

"Edward?"

I turned around when I heard her call my name, surprised. But it wasn't who I expected. It was Tanya, fucking sexy in her bra and panties and dripping wet. She was emerging from the water, bare feet sinking into the muddy river bank. And I couldn't hear her thoughts.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked me, but it wasn't her voice. It was too soft, too gentle. It was a contrast to her usual silky purr. What was wrong?

"What?" I meant to ask her in a confused tone, but for some reason it came out sounding accusatory. She stopped abruptly, looking taken aback as if I'd raised a hand to her. She almost seemed to cower. But then Tanya continued walking towards me. She was two feet away now and still coming closer. I had a war of emotions raging inside of me, though I wasn't sure why. I could feel the swell of joy that I always got when I saw Tanya, but at the same time I felt a brewing sense of hate. She reached out to touch my face but before her fingers could caress my cheek, I grasped her wrist roughly.

"What the hell are you doing?" she cried.

"This isn't right…" I said between gritted teeth. I didn't know if I was saying it to myself or to Tanya. I knew something wasn't right here, more than the fact that I was acting so confrontational. There was something wrong with Tanya, or different. I yanked her closer to me by the wrist till her feminine form was pressed against me. The moisture from her skin was soaking through my clothes. What had changed? What was so different about Tanya? I grabbed her by the chin and tilted her head up, scrutinizing her face. The bright moon shone down onto her and I looked into her eyes, but they were not her normal shade of startling blue. I loosened my grip I stared into the chocolate brown that had replaced them.

--------------------

I woke up with a jolt. It took me a moment to realize that it was just a dream. I lay in my bed for a moment, staring at the ceiling and combing my fingers through my bed head, my guitar lying on the bed next to me just like it always did. It had felt too real. That's the thing about these damn mood-stabilizers; they give you vivid, fucked up dreams.

Dim, dark gray light was barely filtering through the window and rain pattered lightly against the glass. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 5:53 a.m. I didn't have to be up for another two hours, but I was awake now. I rolled out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, staring into the mirror when I got there. I rubbed the stubble growing on my cheek. It'd been a week since Alice had left and I hadn't shaved since then. Of course, we didn't have real razors, just the shitty bladeless ones.

I knew that I shouldn't be so fucking down about Alice not being here. She still had to come every day from 9:00 o'clock to 4:00 o'clock for outpatient therapy, but the hours between seemed to drag.

I was pretty much a loner now; though, it's not as if I wasn't used to that. My siblings and I were basically fucking recluses at school. The only company we kept was our own, and we were perfectly fine with that.

I picked up the bladeless razor from the sink and began shaving off the course hair. When I was finished, I admired the flawless job I'd done. Then I turned on the shower and sat on the edge of the sink for awhile, replaying the dream in my mind. It wasn't the worse dream I'd ever had, but something about it had woken something up within me.

Something big.

I knew instantly whose voice had replaced Tanya's. It belonged to the same person whose warm, brown eyes had replaced Tanya's eyes, as well. I shook my head and remembered my running shower, which had filled the small bathroom with a cloudy haze. In the shower, I turned the water as hot as I could stand it and stood under the downpour, as if I could rinse the fucking dream off of me and wash it down the drain.

After my shower, I dressed slowly, trying to fill the time I had. There was still a half an hour before everybody else woke up. I watched the dreams of the other kids in the ward, some happy, some horrific, and some just downright fucked up.

Chester was surprised to see me awake when he knocked on the door.

"Hey, what're you doing up so damn early?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "I just kinda woke up real early and didn't feel like going back to bed," I responded, and it wasn't really a lie. But I should've known that he'd see through me. I had to hand it to the guy; Chester could read people almost as well as I could. He eyed me skeptically.

"What happened?" he sighed.

"Just a fucked up dream."

"About anything in particular?"

I shrugged. "Not really. It was just weird."

Chester looked at me thoughtfully. He decided that it wasn't worth pushing the issue and he didn't say anything else about it.

"Okay, whatever," he said. "Let's head down to breakfast."

Alice arrived just after breakfast. I always felt like I could finally fucking breathe again once Alice had arrived for the day. She was sitting cross-legged on one of the couches when I got to the Big Room. I flopped down next to her and she reached over automatically and rubbed my cheek.

"I see you've finally figured out how to use a razor," she said with a half grin. I rolled my eyes at her, but I didn't respond. "By the way," she added. "You've got a visitor coming today."

I saw in her thoughts who she was talking about. Apparently, Jasper was going to skip school, jack my Volvo and come to see me.

"If that fucker puts one scratch-" I started to say, but Alice cut me off.

"Your car will be fine," she said, exasperated. "You should be happy that he's coming at all."

"Not as happy as you," I reminded her. Alice smiled brightly at me.

Jasper arrived just after 2 o'clock. With Emmett not around, we were comfortable giving each other a one-armed man hug.

"So, you skipped school and stole my car, eh?" I said as we walked down the corridor to my room. "You do realize that that's a truancy ticket _and_ grand theft auto, right?"

"I always thought that grand theft auto sounded so much cooler than it really was," Jasper told me.

"That's because you play too much _Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas_ on the PS2," I explained. "You're expecting too much."

"I can't help it, man," he said. "I love that fucking game. It really brings out my inner black man, ya know?"

"Shut up, Jazz," I told him. We got to my room and sat down on the bed. "So, what brings you here? I only have three days left, you know."

"What? Can't a guy just skip school and jack a Volvo to visit his brother in the psyche ward for no reason other than just to see him?" Jasper said with a shrug. Unfortunately for him, though, I saw Alice's face flicker through Jasper's thoughts before he spoke. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Uh huh, right... So you're saying that this doesn't have shit to do with a certain black-haired hottie?"

"Okay," Jasper admitted. "Maybe I had more intentions than just visiting you, but seriously, shit's so fucking boring without you around."

"Ha! Yeah, okay. You're just tired of buying your own weed instead of smoking all of mine."

"Okay, that sucks, too. But no, Carlisle's being a total dick about us coming to see you. Em and Rose wanted to come with today but I figured it was bad enough that I was going. Esme doesn't need to deal with all three of us running off to Seattle without notice."

"What the fuck?" I said, probably a little louder than necessary. "So, Carlisle doesn't want you guys to come see me?"

Jasper grimaced. "It's more like he doesn't think it'd be "beneficial" for us to come see you."

"What the hell does he know?"

Jasper shrugged. "I don't know. It's bogus, though." Then he paused before continuing. "So… where's, umm, Alice?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Fuckin-a, you horny bastard, she'll be here." I told him. Jasper grinned at me.

"You boys talking about me?" Alice asked she walked into my room. Jasper locked eyes with her and she smiled.

"Told you," I said to Jasper.

"Hey, Jasper," Alice said.

"Hey, Alice," he said as he smiled back. Alice sat down on the bed with us and leaned against the wall.

"So, umm…" I stuttered. "How's Tanya?"

Jasper sighed heavily and slumped against the wall next to Alice. "I should've known you'd ask about her." I stared at him as I watched his thoughts flicker through his head. Tanya was apparently unbothered by my absence. There'd been a party at the beach a few days ago and Tanya was being her usual whore-y self, getting fucked and fucked up.

"Fucking great," I mumbled.

"Who's Tanya?" Alice asked me curiously. Jasper answered for me.

"She's this big floozy ho that Edward used to date." Jasper ducked, anticipating a fist to the face for his slight against my ex-girlfriend. When it didn't come, he straightened up and looked at me questioningly. "What? No rebuttal?" I shrugged.

"Well, when you're right, you're right," I told him. Jasper's eyes widened in shock.

"Did you just say that I was right?" I nodded.

"You usually are, Jasper," I told him. I didn't know what the fuck had come over me. Maybe it was the Lithium mellowing me out, or maybe I was just growing tired of acting like a little kid. Either way, I found myself being less of an asshole.

_Damn, dude,_ Jasper thought. _I never thought I'd see the day where Edward Cullen would admit that someone else was right._

Then Alice chimed in. "Aww, look at that. Edward's growing up." She beamed at me so I gave her a half smile back.

We chilled in my room for awhile, even daring to open up the window at one point and stick our heads through the small opening to smoke one of Jasper's Newports. I was taking the last drag as I heard Alice speak to me through her thoughts while Jasper talked with her.

_Edward, tell Jasper to offer to drive me home._ I exhaled the smoke and flicked the cigarette butt into the air. I watched it fall 13 stories to the Earth and saw the sparks flicker from it when it hit the ground. I pulled myself back into the room and sprayed the area with body pray before closing the window and sitting back on the bed.

_Please, Edward?_ I heard her think, though she was still smiling at Jasper. I sighed and glanced up to the ceiling and back down to the floor in a subtle nod. Alice knew what my quiet gesture meant. We had that shit locked down.

"So, Jasper, how about instead of being a prick, you be a gentleman and offer Alice here a ride back to Forks?" I suggested. Jasper threw me a death glare but lightened his expression before turning back to Alice.

"Hey, Alice,"

"Yes, Jasper?"

"Would you like a ride home?"

"I would love that." She grinned at him and shot me a quick smile. I tipped my head. I hoped she knew that meant "you're welcome".

Alice and Jasper left not too long after that. They'd been gone for about ten minutes or so when one of the evening staff poked their head in my door to tell me that I had a visitor. I sat up, curious. Two visitors in one day? What makes me so fucking lucky? I'm not sure who I was expecting, but I definitely wasn't expecting _her_ to be my visitor. I took in the feminine form covered in ripped blue jeans and a close fitting, royal blue jacket.

"Hi, Edward," she said.

"Hey, Bella…"

--------------------

BPOV

I glanced at my phone as I got into the elevator. 4:06 PM. I was six minutes late picking Alice up. I hit the button for 13 and put the phone back in my pocket. I checked myself in the reflective elevator doors, just in case I ran into _him_. A few seconds later, the doors opened for me and I headed to the desk.

"Hello, Bella," said the familiar-looking receptionist. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm here to pick up Alice," I told her. A confused look spread across her round face.

"Alice? She left here just a few minutes ago," she replied.

"With who? Did Renee come and get her?"

The receptionist shook her head. "No, she left with a blonde-haired boy." She checked the sign-in chart. "Jasper, that's his name. Jasper Hale. Should I not have let her leave?" the receptionist asked in a worried voice, but I wasn't concerned.

"Oh, Jasper? That's fine, I guess." I didn't turn away, though. Damn it, I was kind of hoping I could see Edward. Maybe I still could. I made my decision before I could rethink it. "Actually, I'd still like a visitor's pass."

"Oh, okay. For whom?" she asked me.

"Edward. Edward… Cullen," I replied. She gazed at me questioningly.

"I wasn't aware that you knew Edward."

I hesitated. "Err, yeah, we, uh… go to school together." And it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't at all the reason why I wanted to see him. I wasn't even sure why I was going to see him. What would I say? _'Hey, Edward. I just came to see you so I can bask in your amazing loveliness for a while.' _Yeah, that'd be real smooth.

The receptionist filled out the pass while I signed in on the sheet before handing it to me. I thanked her and made my way through to door into the ward. A nurse was on the other side and she led me down the corridor to Edward's room. Gah, what was I doing? But it was too late to turn around because the nurse stuck her head into Edward's room and alerted him of his visitor. The door swung open and I was greeted with best sight I'd seen in the past week.

Edward was sitting on his bed with his back against the wall and knees up towards the ceiling. Even in a simple wife beater shirt and dingy looking jeans he was an image of perfection. His bronze hair wasn't quite as erratic today and the shadows beneath his eyes were lightened. With the wife beater on I could finally see the definition in his arms and chest. Ah, what I wouldn't give for that shirt to be on the floor. I pulled myself away from my naughty thoughts.

"Hi, Edward," I said.

"Hey, Bella," he responded, looking confused but not necessarily sorry that I'd decided to visit him. He hesitated, as if he were struggling to find the right words. "Um, so, I don't mean to sound like an asshole or anything, but… why'd you come to see me?" I shrugged and stepped into his room. It smelled like him, which meant that it smelled fantastic.

"Well, I _was_ going to pick up Alice, but apparently she found another way home." I quirked an eyebrow at him. "And I figured that since I drove all the way up here, I wasn't going to let it be a waste of finite resources, so I decided to see you." I took a seat on the edge of his bed as he threw me this cute little crooked grin that made my heart flutter and _other_ parts of my body tingle.

"Aww, so I'm your Plan B?" he asked. "I guess I'll make you my Plan B then, too."

"So, you're basically saying that when I get locked up in the psyche ward that you'll come and visit me if your previous plans fall through?" I laughed and he laughed with me.

"Okay, so that sounds kinda shitty," he said. "How about this? If you ever got thrown into the nut house, I'll be sure to visit you."

"Oh, so I'm your Plan A, now?"

"Yeah, you've been promoted. You're officially my Plan A."

"I guess I have to make you my Plan A, now, too." There was a moment of silence where we stared at each other with small smiles on our faces. It was nice to see Edward with his arrogant and badass façade broken down. I no longer found myself intimidated by him, though I was ever aware that I was in the presence of an abnormally beautiful human being.

It felt like I couldn't possibly break my gaze from his, even if I'd wanted to. I was trapped in pools of emerald and jade. I knew I couldn't look away, but this quiet had to end. I was the one to break the silence first.

"So, what else can you play?" I asked, gesturing towards his guitar. Edward almost seemed to have broken from a trance.

"Well, I can play a lot of things," he said as he grabbed the guitar from against the wall next to his bed. "What do you want to hear?"

I thought about it. "Well, you know Bright Eyes, so you might've heard of Cursive." He nodded and I smiled at him again. "Can you play something by them?"

"Yeah, sure…" He strummed his guitar, checking to see if it was in tune, I guessed. And then he began playing a familiar riff. My grin became wider as I recognized the opening notes of "The Great Decay" by Cursive. And the warm tone that resonated from the body of the guitar made the song softer and more remorseful. Edward hesitated when he got to the part where the vocals came in.

"I really wouldn't mind it if you sang," I assured him. He gave me a half grin and resumed his playing. Then he began singing.

_"This is the bed that I have made. This is the grave where I will lay. These are the hands where I will bury my face…"_

The rest of the visit went like this. I'd request a song (which he almost always knew) and he'd perform it for me while I'd occasionally hum along – my voice was nowhere near as lovely as Edward's. With every song, he visibly grew more and more comfortable with me. And I was growing more comfortable with Edward, too.

He was still leaning against the wall while he played nearly an hour later. I sat next to him against the wall while he played "Hot/Cold" by Strata. The song itself was exactly right with his voice. The sound of his voice as it blended with the guitar sounded like it came from one indivisible instrument. And the way he looked at me as he sang made my heart clench. My head was swimming in a sea of his impossible perfection.

And then the song drew to a close with one final pluck of the string.

And there was silence. And stillness.

But we spoke volumes with our eyes alone.

We were right next to each other. There was only about six or seven inches of space between his face and mine. All I'd have to do would be to close that tiny little gap and I'd have his lips on mine. But then I was in shock.

Because Edward had beat me to it.

His face had moved so suddenly that it took me a moment to realize that he was kissing me. But the second I realized it, I drank in the feeling of it. It started out as a chaste, closed mouth kiss. I thought he was pulling away when he'd removed his lips from mine, but then he came back for more, taking my bottom lip in between his. He sucked it into his mouth and slowly dragged his tongue along it, warm and wet and smooth. Amazing. When he released my lip, I hesitantly went back for even more, ever so softly tickling the tip of his tongue with mine. Edward returned the gesture, circling my tongue with his. And he brought his hand up to place on my neck, just below my ear, and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. His hand was cold compared to the heated skin on my neck and face. It was a shock to my system that made this kiss all the more enjoyable. But all good things must come to an end. Edward drew his tongue out of my mouth and gave me two more small, soft, chaste kisses before letting me go.

It was, without a doubt, the best kiss of my entire life thus far.

We pulled away from each other and Edward slowly took his hand off my neck. I wasn't sure what to do at first. What was expected of me? And though I didn't want to think about the motivations behind it, - he probably felt sorry for me – I wondered why he'd kissed me in the first place. Fuck it. Enjoy now, ask questions later. And I'm not sure what I expected to happen after the kiss, but I certainly wasn't expecting what _did_ happen.

Much to my surprise, Edward began laughing. It wasn't a condescending type of laugh. It was the kind of laugh that a person might have after going through an awkward experience with a friend. So I laughed, too.

"Okay, okay," I said between giggles. "I really should get home."

Edward nodded after his laughter had subsided. "Yeah, alright. I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Later," I agreed.

I got up and left the ward in a daze. A happy daze.

--------------------

"Isabella Marie Swan! If you're not in the kitchen in the next 10 seconds I will personally stick my boot so far up your ass that you'll be tasting leather for a month!" Oh geeze, "Angry Alice" was the least pleasant version of my adopted sister. I sighed. She must've "seen" Edward and me kiss.

"Coming, Al," I sighed. I hung my head as I walked into the kitchen. I was met with the blazing gaze of Alice's big, brown eyes. But she didn't _look_ angry. She actually seemed… smug? But I couldn't be sure because her expression seemed pretty calm and collected, uncharacteristic of Alice.

"So," she said, a small smirk tugging at one side of her mouth. "How was it?"

"How was what?" I asked innocently. She rolled her eyes.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Can't say I do."

Alice made a slightly frustrated noise and she went back to stirring whatever she was preparing on the stove. "How was sucking face with my friend Edward?" And I just couldn't help it. I felt the heat rising to my face and a little smile broke out across my lips.

"How mad are you?" I asked. She turned her face back to me and her big eyes widened. She quit stirring, setting the wooden spoon down on the counter, and put a hand on her petite hip.

"You honestly think I'm mad?" Alice asked me incredulously. "Why would I be?"

I relaxed infinitesimally. Okay, so she wasn't mad. I shrugged. "Well, because he's your friend and I'm your sister…"

Alice shook her head with a smile and went back to stirring. "And that's exactly why I'm _not_ mad. Yeah, he's my friend and you're my sister. And if I was any kind of decent human being then wouldn't I want my friend and my sister to be happy? Why do you think I wanted Jasper to give me a ride home? Well," she grinned. "Aside from the obvious reasons."

I smiled. I didn't really feel like giving Alice the low down on my kiss with Edward. Here was my out! I seized it. "Oh, yeah? And how was that?"

"Oh, it was awesome…" Alice gushed. He took me… wait a second; you're not weaseling out of this one, Bella Swan. I want details." Damn it, I'd been relying on Alice's tendency to gush. Alice quirked and eyebrow at me when I didn't answer. "Come on, Bella. You know I'm stronger than I look. Don't make me beat it out of you."

"Okay, okay. We don't have to resort to violence," I said as I walked over to the stove where Alice was still stirring and hopped up on the counter. I sat for a moment, contemplating on how to describe it. She must've taken my silence as more resistance.

Alice was begging and practically vibrating as she started jumping back and forth from foot to foot. "Come on, Bella! Out with it! The anticipation is killing me!" I raised a hand without looking at her. She stopped jumping and went quiet. I sucked in my cheeks and bit down. How to describe it?

"It was…"

"Yes?" Alice prodded.

"It was the best fucking kiss that anyone has ever had in the entire history of the universe."

Alice grinned widely. "And?"

"And what?"

"Do you like him?"

I had to think about it. Did I like Edward? I know what I liked _about_ him. His eyes that penetrated my soul, his unruly hair, the shape of his sharp cheekbones. _And that voice_. That might've been my favorite part of Edward. His rich, velvet voice that positively purred when he sang. And I know I liked him in a friendly way. He's the type of guy I'd talk to at school. I don't know that I'd ever hang out with him, though. I was still too self-conscious for that. And I certainly lusted after him. But did I "like him" like him? I thought back to the only time I'd ever really liked a guy, though I tried not to think of him much. Was this how I had felt? Did I have this wonderfully horrifying feeling in the pit of my stomach back then, just like I did now?

All I knew for sure was that Edward Cullen had me wrapped around his long, pale, guitar-playing finger.

And I supposed that that meant that I liked him.

"Yeah," I said, finally answering Alice. "I guess I do." Alice squealed like a school girl, bouncing up and down excitedly.

"Oh my God, Bella!" she exclaimed. "I'm so freaking happy! You haven't paid any guy any attention since Ja-"

"Don't even say it," I said abruptly, cutting her off.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking." Alice looked apologetic.

"It's alright," I reassured her. I looked away from her and into the pot on the stove. Oh, noodles. She must be making spaghetti. "Hey, Alice," I asked, still looking into the pot of boiling water and noodles. "Can you tell me when he's getting out?"

"Sure," she said. Alice's eyes went blank, like I'd seen them do so many times before. In that same instant, the front door opened.

"Hello? Girls?" Charlie called. Oh crap. Charlie would freak out if he walked in on Alice having one of her visions again.

"In here, Dad!" I called to him as I shook her. "Alice!" I hissed. "Come on, snap out of it!" Alice's eyes came back to life.

"Hey, Charlie!" she called. He poked his head around the corner.

"Something smells good," Charlie said with a smile.

"Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes," Alice told him.

"Great, hon. Say, where's my wife?" I could tell that Charlie absolutely loved saying "my wife" when talking about my mother. He lit up like a little boy on Christmas morning whenever he did.

"She had a PTA meeting to go to after school got out," I told him. "She'll be home in about 15 minutes."

"Oh, okay," he replied. "Well, you know where to find me when dinner's ready." He headed to the living room and I heard the television click on a minute later. I turned back to Alice.

"So?" I asked her.

"He'll be out in three days. And with the way he's been cooperating, it looks like they're considering not making him go through outpatient therapy. He might be back in school by Thursday."

I shouldn't have been so excited. Or maybe I should've? I hated being so unsure of myself. I hated that anyone had this kind of effect on me. "But _you_ won't be back in school for another week yet," I reminded her.

"You can make it, Bella." Alice smiled. "In fact, I _know_ you will."

"I'm sure you do."

But truth be told, I wasn't so much concerned about another week of separation from Alice as I was about seeing Edward at school. Now that I knew him, I'd no doubt notice him in the halls. Would it be awkward? I hoped that the laughter we'd shared after our kiss had implied that it wouldn't be. I sighed, trying to occupy my head with other things.

"So Alice, you never did tell me what happened today with you and Jasper after you two left," I reminded her. Alice grinned mischievously.

"Oh. Believe me. You might not want to know," she said. I raised my eyebrows.

"It's that juicy?"

"You really want to know?" she asked me skeptically. I nodded. "Okay," she said. "Let's talk boys…"

--------------------

Oh yeah, that's right. I ended the chapter **right there**.

Here's some food for thought until next chapter:

- What did Edward's dream mean?

- Why did Edward suddenly decide to kiss Bella out of nowhere?

- Who the hell is "Ja-"?

- What happened when Jasper drove Alice home?

- Why haven't you added the Psycho MySpace site, yet? (myspace[dot]com/psycho_by_kfm)

- Why aren't you reviewing this chapter right now?

I'm feeling a little cracky. Bring me those reviews. =]


	7. The Minor Redress

Sooooo, I'm very sorry about the long-ass wait on the update, but I now bring you Chapter 7.

P.S. I love my reviewers!

- kfm

--------------------

APOV

Jasper and I were halfway back to Forks. We'd been talking casually during the drive. The conversation was stilted, though not entirely awkward. We'd been listening to some rock station for most of the ride when he turned to me suddenly with a curious grin.

"Do you by any chance like speed metal?" he asked.

I did not.

"Umm… Sure," I said unconvincingly. Jasper must not have noticed my obvious hesitation because he grabbed a c.d. from the center console and slipped it into the player. At first, there was silence. But then a blast of guitars and drums crashed into my eardrums, followed quickly by an angry screaming voice. I tried nodding my head to what I was pretty sure was the beat. How could anyone actually like this? But then I looked over at Jasper who was thoroughly enjoying himself.

His gold waves of hair were kept under control with a red bandanna that was wrapped around his forehead and tied in the back in true hardcore kid style. But if he hadn't been wearing the bandanna, his hair would've been all over the place as he head-banged. And he looked so good in his black skinny jeans and the white band t-shirt he wore. He was a hardcore god.

And that's when I decided that I loved speed metal.

We blasted the hardcore music, talking and laughing at all of the right moments. I was surprised when we hit Forks and he asked me what street I lived on. Were we really back already? And it didn't take long for him to find my house. We sat in the driveway, the car idling, when it happened.

My mind was jolted out of the Volvo I sat in and I was suddenly standing in the middle of Edward's bedroom back at the psyche ward. Bella and Edward were sitting on his bed as he played a song on his guitar. The song ended and there was a short silence. And much to my delight, Edward suddenly kissed Bella. And it was a serious kiss. Tongue and all.

I didn't need a vision to tell me that my leaving with Jasper would've resulted in this. I'd actually kind of planned on it.

I was brought back to the car in which I sat as a surprised Jasper sat next to me, looking directly into my eyes.

"Were you just…?" he began.

"Having a vision?" I finished for him. "Yes."

"Of what?" Jasper asked curiously.

I don't know if it was inspiration from my vision or jealousy that fueled my next move but I turned to Jasper with a sudden movement and threw myself into the driver's seat, smashing my face against his. I couldn't help it. Was this too soon? But it must not have been because Jasper was kissing me back. He moved his right hand up to the back of my head to press me against his mouth even more. A low, gritty moan came from his throat which sent me over the edge. His tongue ran along my lower lip, testing the water, I presumed. I obliged and met my tongue with his. I felt his left hand go to my waist and I knew what that would lead to. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and yanked on it ever so slightly with my teeth. I may not have ever had sex with a guy, but damn it, I knew how to kiss.

We were panting into each other's mouths, hot, wet and just plain horny. I felt his hand sliding upwards, towards my chest. _Oh, hell no…_ I thought has his hand worked its way up along my ribs. I continued kissing him but just as Jasper was about the feel me up, I swatted at his hand. I could feel him smile against my lips and he gave me one last peck before pulling away. I smiled at him, my lips wet.

"Awesome…" he said.

"Definitely…" I replied.

I sat back down in the passenger seat and grabbed my purse off of the floor. I was grabbing the handle to open the door when I felt Jasper's hand lightly grab my arm.

"Wait," he said. "Umm, what are you doing this Saturday?"

I shrugged. "Not sure. That's my last day in the ward. Why?"

He gave me a half smile. "Well, umm, I was hoping… err, wondering if maybe you'd want to go to this party with me that night. It's kind of a surprise home coming party that we're throwing together for Edward. There's gonna be a shit ton of people there."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "A ton of people? I was under the impression that Edward didn't like people in general."

"He doesn't," he said with a devious grin. "But that won't stop the Fork's High School teenage elite from showing up to a good party." I smiled at him again.

"Okay, yeah. I'll go."

Jasper pulled me back to him by tugging on the arm he held and gave me one last, small kiss before releasing me with a smile.

--------------------

"That wasn't overly juicy," Bella said as we set the kitchen table for dinner. "I mean, you didn't even let him get to Second."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, Bella. First off, nobody uses the baseball analogy when talking about sex anymore. And also, getting felt up is the furthest I've ever gone with a guy. It's kind of a big deal to me." Bella grimaced at this.

"Yeah, I wish I could say the same," she said. "I kind of envy you."

"Well," I told her. "I don't judge you for it."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Anyhoo, you have to come with me to this party on Saturday. I'll need a wing man."

"Why?" Bella asked as she went to the cupboard to grab glasses. "You've already got Jasper hung up on you. What would you need a wing man for?"

I frowned. "In case I have a little too much to drink and do something I'll regret in the morning." And then I added, "I have to play this just right."

"Good point. Okay, I'll go with you," she said with a sigh. I beamed at her.

"Yay! Thank you, Bella."

"You're welcome." Then she hesitated, debating whether or not she wanted to say something. But then she spoke as she put a glass by each place setting. "So, um, Edward's going to be there, then?" It came out sounding more like a statement than a question.

"Well, yeah. It _is _his party. Unless, he refuses to go, which wouldn't be much of a surprise. Why? Are you nervous?" I asked.

Bella shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, sort of. I'm not really sure what our kiss meant."

"Don't even worry about it," I suggested.

"I'll try not to."

--------------------

I sat in Edward's chair, my legs crossed and my Polaroid camera in my hands.

"You could help out, at least," Edward said as he loaded his belongings into the large trunk in the corner of the room. "I had to fold _your _shit when you left."

"Please. You don't even fold your clothes. What help could I possibly be to you?" I scoffed. I held the camera up and snapped a picture as he made a face at me.

"Damn it, Alice," he said as he blinked. "Now I can't see shit."

"You don't need to see anything. Just grab whatever you can feel and throw it in the general direction of the trunk." I pulled the developing picture out of the slot and set it on the bedside table. I snapped another one of him as he stumbled around his room, still temporarily blinded from the camera's flash.

"What the fuck? You just took another one, didn't you?" he asked me.

"No."

"Bullshit, Alice. You might be a good liar, but your thoughts aren't." Edward plopped down on his bed and rubbed his eyes. After about thirty seconds, he must've regained his sight because he stood up and continued throwing things into the trunk. I cringed every time he threw an unfolded article of clothing in it. Why would anyone treat their clothes that way?

After all of his clothes were packed, Edward went into the bathroom and began grabbing more things to throw into the trunk.

"So, are you excited?" I asked him.

"Well, that depends..." he said sourly as he threw his shampoo into the trunk. "If you're asking if I'm excited for life to get back to normal, then yes. But if you're asking if I'm excited to go home, then I would have to say 'fuck no'." He returned to the bathroom.

I grimaced. _Why aren't you excited to go back home?_

"Mostly because of Doctor Dad," Edward called from the bathroom. "And I'm sure Esme will be acting weird around me for awhile. You know how mothers get."

"No, actually," I said as he returned. "I don't. Remember? My mom wasn't really much of a mother at all. I'm pretty sure she wished I was born a boy because the only thing she ever taught me was how to shoot a gun." And then I added with a grin, "I'm the best shot in my family. And that's saying a lot when you come from Redneck stock." Edward chuckled a little.

A moment of silence passed by as Edward moved from the bathroom to the drawings and papers on his nightstand. These he _did _organize.

_So, what's up with you and Bella? _I asked him.

He shrugged. "I really don't know."

_Come on, that's no answer._

"Seriously, I have no fucking idea."

I made a frustrated noise and whined. "Edward, please? You've got to give me _something_!"

"Well, what do you want me to tell you?"

"How about you tell me why you kissed her?" I said with a triumphant smirk. Edward sighed and layed back on his naked mattress with the stack of papers still in his hand.

"I..." He hesitated, which was uncharacteristic of Edward Cullen. "Well, I _am_ a teenage guy. A teenage guy who hasn't gotten laid in a few months. And, well, I find Bella very..." He searched for the right word. "... alluring."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Alluring?" He nodded. "So, let me get this straight," I said. "You stuck your tongue down my best friend/sister's throat because you were horny and she looked good?"

Edward threw his arm over his face with a sigh. "I wouldn't exactly put it that way. It sounds a whole lot fucking worse the way you say it. I don't view Bella as just some random tits and ass. If that's what I thought, then I would've said that Bella's hot or sexy. Alluring is really the only way to describe it."

"You make no sense, Edward."

He groaned, removing his arm from his face and sat up. "Look," he said. "I guess I'm trying to say that I've got a certain interest in Bella. She's pretty and she's got a kind of innocence to her." And then he added, "And she's not afraid to stand up for herself. I like that. And the fact that I can't hear her thoughts makes her even more of a mystery to me." Edward grimaced then. "But she needs to stay away from me. I'm a fucking dumb ass for even getting this close to her. I'm not healthy person for anyone to be around. Especially someone like Bella."

"What about me?" I questioned.

"It's too late for you, Alice," Edward said with a slight smile. "As long as you and Jazz have your thing, there's really no avoiding you."

_And as long as there's no avoiding me, then there's no avoiding Bella, either._ I thought. He shook his head.

"With Bella, I can at least _try_ to keep my distance. I guess that's what I'll have to do."

What a prick.

--------------------

BPOV

"Have fun at school today!" Alice called as she walked out the door with Charlie. It was Thursday and this was going to be Edward's first day back to school after a month long stay in the psyche ward. And I don't know if today would exactly be described as "fun".

Exciting. Possibly.

Awkward. Probably.

Terrifying. Definitely.

"Oh, I'm sure I will," I responded sarcastically after she shut the door. I finished straightening my hair and perfecting what little make up I wore. I needed to look good today.

Renée drove me to school. She kept eyeing me as we drove.

"You look nice today," she told me. I shrugged.

"Thanks."

Renée pressed her lips together. She was studying me and it made me squirm a little. "You seem tense, hon. Is something bothering you?"

I shrugged again. "Not really," I told her. "I'm just kind of anxious for Alice to come back to school, I guess." I could tell that Renée wasn't convinced but she didn't press the issue. She dropped me off in the high school parking lot and I threw her a wave as I got out, just like I did every morning. I looked around the parking lot, trying to convince myself that I wasn't really looking for him. And I didn't see him. I quickly headed to my first period class.

I absent-mindedly drew circles into my notebook during AP Biology, daydreaming and only half listening to the teacher. I was only vaguely aware when Mr. Mason called on me to come to his desk. I pulled myself from my seat and sauntered over to him.

"May I have a word with you in the hallway, please?" he asked. I nodded and let him lead the way. Once out in the hall, he turned to me abruptly. "Isabella, I'm concerned about your grade in this class," he told me. I sighed. I'd been expecting a talk like this to be coming soon. He continued on. "Your grade has been low for quite some time." Then he frowned. "Though I hate to lose you in my class, I've recommended that you be moved to Biology II with Mr. Banner."

I groaned internally. "So my whole schedule's going to be moved around again?"

"No, no. Just this hour and your hour after lunch. You'll have your AP English class moved to this period and Biology after lunch. Starting tomorrow." He put a hand on my shoulder in what I guessed was supposed to be a comforting gesture. "I'm sorry I have to let you go," Mr. Mason said, frown still in place.

I nodded. "No, I understand."

The bell rang just then, indicating lunch time. I pushed through the flood of students pouring through the doorway and retrieved my bag from my seat. Well, it wasn't _my_ seat anymore.

I headed down to the cafeteria. Lunch was by far the worst time of day for me. Part of being such a loner was the fact that there was no one to sit by during lunch. My first few weeks here I'd resorted to eating in the bathroom stall, a teenage cliché.

Eventually, I decided that I really didn't care what anyone else thought. It's not like I paid attention to anyone around me, keeping my head down most of the time and avoiding human interaction when at all possible. I now ate at a far corner table near a group of guys who gave me my space. The only thing that bothered me about them was the sly looks they gave me every once in awhile, followed by a flurry of whispers and laughter. I'd picked up that the ringleader's name was Mike. I wasn't sure about the others. I rarely listened to anything they had to say.

I made my way through the cafeteria doors and quickly walked to my seat, my head bowed. I took my place near the group of boys and began removing the contents from the brown sack lunch I'd made earlier that morning.

And that was when I felt it.

It felt like a low hum radiating through my body and the random feelings of insecurity I often got when I knew I was being stared at. I timidly looked up at the group of boys I sat next to, expecting the stare to be coming from them. But no, they were deep in conversation about the party this weekend. My gaze shifted around the cafeteria. And then I found the source of my discomfort.

Edward Cullen was sitting on the far opposite side of the cafeteria from me. I was surprised that his gaze wasn't burning holes into my forehead.

And we just stared.

I threw him a timid smile and he abruptly looked back down at his tray of food without returning the gesture.

Well, that's not a good sign.

I looked back down at my lunch, but suddenly, my food seemed no longer appetizing. The smell of my turkey sandwich made my stomach turn and I just needed to get the hell out of there. I stood up abruptly and walked to the trash can, ditching my lunch in it. I purposefully walked towards the exit on the other side of the room so that I could walk past Edward's table. He sat with three others – two guys and a girl – who were all ridiculously attractive, almost as much as Edward.

Edward met my gaze as I walked past but looked away once again. The look on his face was one that a person might have when seeing a person that they'd rather not admit to knowing.

It felt like a knife had been stuck into the middle of my chest when I came to the realization that Edward was _embarrassed_ of me. He was embarrassed that he'd made out with a recluse who had no friends.

But who was he to be embarrassed? _I_ was the one who'd made out with a person who was living in a nut house at the time! Shouldn't _I_ be the one who's embarrassed? And yet, I wasn't ashamed whatsoever, which made his rejection all the more agonizing.

I saw Edward two more times after lunch. I saw him in the hallway on my way to P.E. He stared right past me as he walked to class. And I saw him again as I waited in the parking lot for Renée. He was walking across the lot with a blonde-haired hardcore looking kid (who I guessed to be Jasper from what Alice had told me). He made his way over to a shiny silver Volvo and I saw him give me a lingering glance before hopping into the driver's seat. He drove past me towards the exit. Both he and Jasper had cigarettes lit before they'd even left the school parking lot.

I was surprised when Alice didn't want to talk about what happened at school; though, I'm sure she knew that Edward was really the last person I wanted to talk about. We ended up doing homework together, cooking dinner with Renée, and watching a little t.v. before heading to bed. That night, I had a dream that Edward and I were back in his room in the hospital. It was a reenactment of the night when we'd shared our kiss.

--------------------

If my dream from the previous night had been like rubbing salt in the wound, then the events of the next day were more like drowning the wound in an entire vat of salt. I'd seen Edward a couple of times in the hallway that morning. Was I really so anti-social that I hadn't noticed someone as gorgeous as him in the halls before? I couldn't ever remember seeing Edward in school before I'd met him, but now that I had, his presence was like a burning beacon everywhere I went. When he was anywhere near me, my eyes went straight to him. I'd only wished that I'd had the same effect on him.

And at lunch I sat, once again, at my usual quiet spot in the cafeteria while Edward and his friends sat at the complete opposite end. I sneaked peaks at him when I dared to, but every time I did he was always glaring down at his tray of food, which appeared to have been untouched. His forehead had worry lines running along it. He seemed upset, and I wanted so much to know what was wrong, but why should I care? He's just an asshole who likes to give girls the greatest kiss of their life and then completely ignore them afterwards.

But, by far, the worst thing to happen to me that Friday was being switched to Biology II.

I walked into Mr. Banner's classroom, somewhat happy that I'd been moved to an easier class. The sciences were not my forte. But of course, I just had to be moved into the same Biology class as Edward Mother Fucking Cullen. And, because life hates me, his lab table was the only one with an available space.

I glared at him before taking my seat. He looked down at his hands and pressed his lips into a hard line. So this was how it was going to be? He was still going to ignore me? Well, fine. What did I care? He was nothing to me.

I could keep telling myself that, at least.

The hour seemed to stretch on forever as I silently took notes and he gazed out the window. I could still feel that warm, humming vibration that I first got when he stared at me in the lunch room, but every time I peeked at him through my curtain of hair, Edward was still gazing out at the gray drizzle.

That evening, Alice kept buzzing about the party the following night. I had completely forgotten about it until she'd mentioned it. I had promised Alice that I would go with her, but as I considered the way Edward had been keeping his distance from me, I thought that perhaps my presence was neither required nor desired. And, of course, Alice knew about my plans to ditch the second I'd changed my mind.

"What?!" she exclaimed, throwing down the brown halter-top dress that she was considering wearing. "What the hell makes you think that you can just weasel out of this party, Bella?"

"I just don't think I'd be welcome there," I said with a shrug. "And normally, I know I could just hang out with you, but you'll be with Jasper and I really don't feel like being a third wheel."

Alice frowned, her big brown eyes growing wide and sad. "Bella, please? Do you remember that promise you made me when I was first admitted?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "But what does that have to do with this?" Alice smirked. Apparently, I'd fallen right into her clever little trap.

"Well," she said. "If I remember correctly, since you refused to make any friends without me you promised me that once I was out of the psyche ward, you'd start socializing. Well, guess what? Tomorrow I am officially out of the psyche ward which means that you, Bella Swan, are obligated to go to this party with me and make some friends."

"Alice," I groaned. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because you'll thank me later. Trust me." And when it came to knowledge of things that came later, Alice was boss. But that didn't mean that I was overly ecstatic about going to the party like Alice seemed to be. Jasper was taking her so she, at least, wouldn't be there alone.

"So, by you saying that I'll thank you later, are you implying that something good will happen if I go to the party?"

Alice shrugged. "I couldn't tell you. It's all based on decisions that are out of anyone's control. But one thing is for certain," she said with a sly smile. "There will be plenty of opportunities for you to relax and have a drink or two. And from one sister to another, you look like you could use it."

Lovely.

The next morning seemed to go by far too quickly. I wasn't anxious for the night to come so I wasted away my time with homework, cleaning and other tedious activities that made the time go by more slowly. But soon enough it was 6:30 and Alice had arrived home with Renée. For dinner, Alice and I served some left-over Turkey, hoping that the tryptophan would keep our parents knocked out for the night. And at 11:30, long after both Charlie and Renée had gone to bed for the night, we began getting ready.

"You're not seriously wearing _that_, are you?" Alice asked me as we got dressed in the bedroom that we shared. I looked down at my white cotton t-shirt, khakis and brown Doc Martins.

"What's wrong with this?" I asked.

"Shall I write you a list?" Alice asked me sarcastically. "You look like a walking Gap advertisement from 1996." Alice went to her closet and threw a pair of tight jeans and a black, stretchy tank top at me. "You need to show a little more skin," she explained. I rolled my eyes but began changing into the clothes she threw at me. "As for the shoes, a nice peep-toe pump..."

"Umm, Alice? Me in heels?" I reminded her.

"Maybe we should just go with some black flats," she said after some consideration. "And some jewelry to mix it up."

After I was dressed, Alice began attacking me with tweezers, eyeliner and a curling iron. It was pure, sadistic torture. Alice style. But when I looked in the mirror, I had to admit that I was impressed, because the girl looking back at me was a whole lot easier on the eyes than the last time I saw her.

Once Alice was finished with me, she checked herself in the mirror.

"How do I look?" she asked me, twirling around in slow motion. I looked her up and down. I was jealous of Alice's courage when it came to fashion. She wore a black tunic made entirely out of lace with a black tube top beneath it. Her mini skirt was tight and bright red and showed of her perfect legs and on her feet were the black peep-toe pumps that were originally intended for me. She donned gold bangle bracelets on her wrists and wore gold hoop earrings to match.

"It's a little too 'street walker' for my taste," I told her honestly. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Of course, you would say that," she said. "Try thinking like a guy."

"Okay," I replied, assessing her from a male perspective. "If I was a guy, I'd totally hit that." Alice smiled brilliantly at my words.

"Awesome."

And the Alice's cell phone began vibrating.

"Right on time," she said with a smile. She grabbed the phone and sure enough, it was a text message from Jasper saying that he was around the corner. We grabbed our coats and sneaked down the stairs, careful not to make any noise as we opened and closed the front door behind us. It was the first time Alice and I had sneaked out since moving to Forks. The risk actually made this whole thing a little more exciting for me.

We raced down the street and sure enough, there sat the Volvo. I got nervous. Would Edward be with him? But when we got to the car I saw that Jasper was behind the wheel with no passengers. I exhaled in relief as Alice hopped in the front seat and I took the back, soaking up the heat that radiated from the vents. And it didn't take us long to get to the party. Forks wasn't exactly a huge town. We pulled up in front of a simple, but nice, one story house in one of the newer neighborhoods. The driveway and the surrounding street were packed with cars. Jasper grabbed a large brown paper bag from the trunk and we made our way up to the door step. Jasper knocked on the door as loud music emanated from within. And even through the tiny glass window on the door it was easy to see that the house was full of people.

"Isn't this your house?" Alice asked Jasper. The door knob was being unlocked from within.

"Oh, no. This is Kate Ivanov's house. Her parents are pretty much always out of town on the weekends."

The door swung open to reveal a tall, slender, model-esque girl with long, perfectly straight ash blond hair. Her gorgeous face suggested superiority and her skimpy, red dress suggested that she was easy. "Jasper!" the girl exclaimed, stepping outside and throwing her arms around him. He seemed slightly uncomfortable and simply patted her on the back.

"Hey, Kate. Good to see you." He threw her a timid smile as she pulled away. "I come baring gifts," he said, raising up the brown paper bag. The contents made an obvious clinking noise that only several bottles of hard liquor could make. Kate smiled widely.

"Aww, how thoughtful," she said as he handed the bag to her. She led us into the packed house, through the smoky living room and into the kitchen. There were kids sitting on the counter smoking what looked like a cigarette, but the smell was all wrong. I figured it was weed.

Kate pulled out the bottle and grabbed several tiny glasses from the cupboard in front of her. "Who wants a shot?" she called above the music to the others in the kitchen. Most of the kids in the vicinity raised their hands immediately, Alice and Jasper included. Alice nudged me.

"Come on, Bella. Do a shot with me." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Okay, okay," I said with a sigh. A small crowd of people began gathering around us, eager to do a shot. Kate grabbed the bottle of Tequila first and filled each shot glass with it before passing them around. One was handed to me and I looked to Jasper and Alice with an unsure expression.

"Here," Jasper said as he handed me a beer. "Use this as a chaser." Once all the shots had been passed around, someone in the crowd began a countdown and everyone joined in.

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" And everybody took their shot. The taste wasn't too bad until it sent a fiery burn down my throat. I quickly gulped down a drink of beer to quench the fire. The taste of the beer wasn't much better. I did three more shots before I decided that the fire in my throat wasn't worth it anymore. My face was warm and I was feeling a little less self-conscious. I slipped away from Alice when she wasn't looking and worked my way though the closely packed bodies in the kitchen who were eager for more shots of Tequila. When I emerged from the crowd, I stopped dead in my tracks. I shouldn't have had any reason to stop; it's not like I didn't know that he'd be here.

Edward was playing beer pong against a cute muscular guy and a stunningly-beautiful blonde, both of whom I recognized from Edward's lunch table. And it wasn't so much seeing him that made my heart break just a little more, but it was his drop-dead gorgeous, strawberry blonde beer pong partner who was all over him. I watched as Edward made the ball into one of his opponents' cups and the red head jumped up and down as she cheered before giving him a lingering kiss on the cheek. If you knew Edward, it was clear that he was enjoying himself, though anyone else would think that he was utterly bored. His posture was one of nonchalance and his expression seemed indifferent, though there was just the faintest hint of a smile on his face whenever he scored for his team.

And then his green eyes flashed to mine. I looked away abruptly before he could and walked over to the living room and sat on the couch, beer still in hand. No one from the crowd in the living room seemed to notice me.

Just then, a slightly familiar sounding voice spoke to me.

"Hey, you're Isabella, right?"

I looked up and saw a cute guy with soft-looking, dirty blond hair and hazel eyes. He was definitely a prep. His white Abercrombie hoody and faded blue jeans made that clear. I nodded.

"It's just Bella, actually," I told him.

"Oh. You mind if I sit with you?" he asked.

"Go ahead." I studied his face. He was vaguely familiar but I had no idea where I'd seen him before. "Do I know you?" I asked him as he took a seat next to me on the white leather couch.

He shook his head. "We've never actually talked, but I sit at the same lunch table as you." Ahh, that would explain the vague familiarity. "I'm Tyler, by the way." He held his hand out and I shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Tyler."

"Likewise, Bella." Tyler reached into the pocket of his hoody and produced a small, glass pipe and a rolled up sandwich bag. "You smoke?" he asked me.

"What, weed?" I asked. He nodded and I shook my head in response. "I'm really not much for drugs." He smiled at that.

"That's too bad," he said. "Do you mind if I light up around you?"

"No, I don't care." I watched as Tyler pulled out what looked like a couple of shriveled up leaves from the sandwich bag and began breaking them up. He packed the broken down nuggets into his pipe, put it to his lips and lit it with his lighter. I'd seen other kids smoke weed before in Phoenix, but it had never really interested me.

"So, what're you doing sitting here all by yourself?" he asked as smoke escaped from between his lips. I shrugged as I stole a quick glance at Edward, who was now surrounded by the redhead, Kate, and another beauty with pale skin and chin-length dark blond hair.

"I guess I'm just not up for partying tonight," I said. Tyler frowned.

"Why not?" he asked. Then he hit the pipe again before asking "Is something wrong?"

"Kind of," I told him. I glanced again at Edward with the three girls. This time Tyler saw me do it. He followed my gaze as he exhaled more smoke and nodded, a knowing smile creeping across his face.

"Ahhh," he said. "Cullen's rejected you, eh?" I looked at Tyler and raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"You figured that out just from a glance?" I asked.

He put a finger to his temple. "I'm very perceptive," I told me with a grin. But then he looked back at Edward. "So, I'm right, then?" I nodded. Tyler hit the pipe again and shrugged. "You shouldn't worry about it too much, Bella. In fact, you kind of dodged a bullet with that one. I may not know Cullen personally, but he's known to be a heart-breaker. Plus," he added. "You wouldn't want to be lumped in with the type of girls that he goes for."

"And why's that?" I inquired.

Tyler laid back against the back of the sofa and stared into my eyes. "Because Edward Cullen only likes two types of girls: girls who get fucked up, and girls who put out."

His words hit me like a freight train. So this was why he wasn't talking to me? Because I didn't fit his standards? I narrowed my eyes as I considered this. Well, I wasn't going to be a girl who put out, but I could a girl who got fucked up. I looked at the beer in my hand, took a deep breath and chugged it. When it was finished, I ignored the stale after taste and turned to Tyler, who was hitting the pipe again.

"Mind if I hit that?" I asked. His eyes widened as he inhaled.

"I thought you said you didn't smoke weed," he said. I smiled at him deviously.

"I just decided that I'm getting fucked up."

"Okay," Tyler said with a shrug. He handed the pipe to me and gave me his blue BIC lighter. I held the pipe up to my mouth, my finger on the little carb, and looked back at Edward, who was suddenly staring at me, his face incredulous. Good. I wanted him to see this. I flicked the lighter and began sucking in smoke, but before I could take the smoke into my lungs, the pipe was suddenly out of my hand.

I looked up and my sight was met with eyes the color of jade. Edward, who had grabbed the pipe, threw it back to Tyler. Then he turned to me and grabbed me by the hand, pulling me up. "Stay away from that douche bag," he said to me as he led me through the living room, past the beer pong table and the three pretty girls (who were scowling at me now), through the back door and out onto the vacant back porch.

"So you're speaking to me now? What the fuck, Edward?" I said incredulously.

"Don't you 'what the fuck, Edward' me, Bella Swan," he said, his voice gloriously furious. "I just saved your ass from making a huge fucking mistake."

I snorted. "Okay, sure. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I _wanted_ to get high?"

"That's not the only mistake I'm talking about," he said darkly. "If only you knew what that ass-wipe Tyler Crowley was thinking..."

"What? So you didn't like the things that he had to say about you?" I asked scathingly. "Truth hurts, Edward."

Edward looked away as he ran his fingers through his hair, smiling without humor. "That's not what I was talking about. I was talking about his little 'plans' for you once you were sufficiently high and drunk enough to spread your legs for him. And for the record, I don't only like girls who 'get fucked up and put out'."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "First off, I would've _never _gotten fucked up enough to have sex with Tyler. And second, if what Tyler said about you wasn't true, then why the hell have you been ignoring me for the past three days?"

Edward stopped running his hand through his bronze locks and looked back at me. "You really think that's why I haven't been talking to you?"

I shrugged. "Why else would you be giving me the cold shoulder?"

Edward shook his head and turned around, walking to the edge of the porch and leaning over the railing. He grabbed a pack of cigarettes and Tyler's blue lighter from his hoodie pocket and lit a smoke. I walked over and stood next to him, mimicking his posture. He smiled into the darkness wryly.

"That's the problem, Bella," he said as he exhaled, a plume of smoke floating upwards from between his parted lips. "You're _too_ good for me. I've recently come to the realization that I like you. A lot. But you need to stay away from me." He looked down at the ground and took another drag from his cigarette. "I'm no good for you."

"What?" I asked, slightly taken aback. "Why?"

He looked at me again. "This shit," he said, gesturing towards the party within the house. "This shit isn't you. I can tell. But this is who _I_ am, who I've forced myself to be. I'm a druggie and a fuck up. I'm that guy with the fucked up brain who does as much as he possibly can to fuck it up even more."

I shook my head in confusion. "I really don't understand why you think so badly of yourself. Sure, you come off a little intimidating and you do a lot of stupid things, but I've seen you with your barriers down." I looked away from his face and out into the black night. "I've seen you for who you really are."

Edward looked away from me again and stared out into the night with me. "I'm no good for you," he repeated. It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than me. I sighed and we both turned to each other at the same time.

"How about this," I said. "How about we let _me _decide what is or isn't good for me?" Edward opened his mouth to respond but I held my hand up. "Let me finish," I told him. "Let's you and I try to be just friends, okay? You and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other with Jasper and Alice having their little thing going. So instead of making things uncomfortable, let's just try and be friends, okay?"

Edward knitted his eyebrows together as he considered this. He opened and closed his mouth several times before actually speaking.

"Just friends?" he asked.

"Just friends," I replied.

"Okay," he said with a nod.

Edward and I sat on the porch for what felt like hours just talking and drinking. It must've been nearly 4 a.m. when Alice stumbled out onto the porch.

"Bella!" she said. She sounded wasted. "Bella, we _have_ to go home. I think I'm sick. I feel like I'm gonna puke." Her words were slurred heavily.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked.

"He's inside, but he's waaaay too drunk to drive."

I sighed. "Great."

"I'll drive you guys home," Edward said. "Jazz and I should probably head back, anyways. We can't afford to get caught sneaking in at 7 a.m. again."

"Oh, thanks, Edward!" Alice slurred happily. She wobbled back inside with Edward right behind her, just in case she fell over. We found Jasper dancing drunkenly in the living room to some rap song. Edward pulled him by the collar of his shirt and the four of us made our way to the Volvo.

On the ride home, Jasper and Alice made out in the back seat. Edward and I attempted to contain our laughter as we kept exchanging awkward glances. When we pulled up to the corner of our street, Edward grabbed my arm before I left the car.

"If you were serious about getting high," he said, his warm alcohol breath splashing across my face. "Then please, _please _do it with me first. It'd just make me feel better."

"Okay," I told him.

"You have to promise me," he said seriously.

"I promise."

Edward released me then and shot me a quick smile as I exited the car. I then assisted a very drunk Alice down the street to our house, wondering idly how Alice had managed to keep her high-heels on.

----------------------

EPOV

What a stupid fucking party.

I knew for a fact that 95% of the people here didn't give a fuck about me. Shit, most of them probably didn't even know who I was, and this was supposed to be _my _party.

On the car ride home from the hospital, Emmett had filled me in on the story they were going to give everyone that explained my absence. Supposedly, I was taking a month long vacation to travel across Europe. I guess I was "trying to find myself" or some shit.

Yeah, because _that's _a likely scenario.

And of course, I knew about the surprise party the second Emmett had thought about it. The other two in the car (Rose and Jazz) had a some kind of control over their thoughts. Emmett didn't. However, I didn't know up until the last minute where it would be held. They wanted to do it at our house but Carlisle and Esme would never've gone for it. Not that it mattered what Carlisle thought. He was out of town on business. How convenient that he should be out of town when I get home. He couldn't hide forever.

So Rosalie (the only one of us that had any outside friends) decided to call in a few favors. Unfortunatly, Rose's little "girl gang" that she hung out with every once in awhile consisted of the three harpies aka the banes of my exsistance. There was Tanya (who was the ringleader), Kate, and Irina. At some point or another, I'd fucked around with each of them - Tanya being the most recent - and they never failed to make my life a living hell.

Each of the girls served a purpose. Tanya had the men, Irina had the drugs, Kate had the party house and Rosalie had the money. Put them together and you've got one hell of a party.

"I'm not fucking going," I told Jasper. His lazy ass was lounging on my bed, channel surfing on the flat screen.

"Yes, you are," he said as if I had no choice. "It's your party. You have to come." And then I heard his thoughts.

"So, you invited Alice?" I asked with a smile as I threw the clothes from my trunk into the laundry bin.

"Maybe."

"And I suppose you need to use my car to pick her up, right?"

"Maybe."

I thought this over. If Alice was coming, then Bella would be too. I cringed at the thought. _That _was going to be uncomfortable, even more uncomfortable than the past few days had been.

I'd been watching Bella from a distance at school. Every time she came near me, I felt this nagging need to say something to her, but I suppressed it, which made me feel like a complete prick. It's not like I wanted to ignore her, but I knew that it was the only way to keep her away from me. It didn't take much for me to see that she was an unblemished soul, and who was I to corrupt her? I was an asshole, a druggie and a bipolar psycho. She didn't need to get involved with all of that.

So I would go to this party tonight, and do what was expected of me. I'd get shit-faced, do some pills, smoke a lot of herb, fuck Tanya and then wake up on the bathroom floor next to a toilet full of vomit. Hopefully in that exact order.

I walked into Kate Ivanov's house with my usual swagger. And of course, Harpy #1 flitted to my side immediately, looking scandalous and fucking sexy as all hell in a short red dress.

"Oh my God, Edward!" Tanya said as she ran to my side. Huh. What was missing here? Where was that fluttery feeling, that aching sensation in my chest that I got whenever I saw Tanya? Something was missing. Maybe I just needed to get fucked up.

"Hey, babe," I said as I slung my arm over her shoulders, playing the part.

"I've missed you," she said as we walked into the house. I didn't respond. I could tell from her thoughts that she just missed fucking me. I looked behind me and tossed my keys to Jasper, hearing him think of Alice.

"If I find one single dent in my car, you're fucking dead, Jasper," I called behind my shoulder.

_Yeah, yeah,_ I heard him think. Tanya led me into the dining room where a game of beer pong was being played. It was Emmett (who had his signature blunt hanging from his mouth) and Rosalie versus Austin Marks and Lauren Mallory. And as per usual, Emmett and Rosalie were owning.

"I got winner," I said. Emmett turned to me and threw me a wink before sinking the ball into the last cup. He took the blunt away from his mouth.

"And that's the game, bitches!" he shouted. "You ready to take on the beer pong king, Edward?" I walked over to re-rack the cups on the other end of the table.

"I don't know, man. It's been a while," I said to him. "They're not much for beer pong over in _Europe_." I threw him a small grin.

"I'll go get us some more beers," Tanya said. She sashayed over to the stairs leading to the basement, throwing me a coy smile before she descended. And as soon as she was out of sight, Harpies number 2 and 3 were backing me into a corner.

"Hey, Edward," Kate said as she played with the zipper on my hoody. Irina came up from behind Kate and put her arms around Kate's neck. Irina whispered into her ear and they both giggled, never taking their eyes off of me. I noticed that they were wearing the same minuscule red dress as Tanya. And they all looked fucking sexy. What the hell? Was this some kind of plot to try and break Edward Cullen before the night was over? Yes, yes it was. Their thoughts told me all that I needed to know. And tempting as it was to fuck Tanya, Kate and Irina at the same time, I just didn't feel the need to just... _fucking do it._ And why? I hadn't gotten any pussy since the last time Tanya and I fucked. I was a 17 year-old guy. Shouldn't my top priority be getting as many notches on my bed post as possible?

"Come on, ladies," I said, holding my hands up. "Let's at least wait until I kick Emmett's ass at pong." They giggled and Irina lowered her arms from around Kate and wound her fingers through Kate's hand instead.

"We'll be back," Irina said.

"Don't forget about us," Kate said with a fake pout as Irina pulled her along (probably to go seduce another poor guy before devouring him alive).

"Okay, let's do this," Tanya said as she returned with the beer, filling our cups. She threw wink at Kate and Irina before they retreated around the corner. Fucking great.

We'd only made three cups before I could hear Jasper and Alice's thoughts enter the house. He'd brought more liquor. Gotta love that fake I.D. of his. But I couldn't tell from either his or Alice's thoughts whether or not Bella had come with. _But why should it matter?_ I kept telling myself. _She's far too good for you, anyway._ I shook my head and returned to the game. Emmett was shooting.

"Hey, no titty defense on my boyfriend!" Rose called (I noticed idly that Rose was wearing the same dress as Tanya, Irina and Kate, but rather it was a soft pink than fiery red). Tanya was working her marvelous cleavage as a distraction technique as Emmett shot. And it really was fucking brilliant. Emmett was always completely distracted when it came to tits. Emmett shot the ball anyway and missed, just like I knew he would. Rose prepared to take her shot. And I had my own distraction technique.

"Hey, Rose," I called as she was about to shoot. "Do you remember that night when we were watching 'Cruel Intentions' in my room?" I grinned insidiously.

_Shut up, Edward,_ she thought as she gritted her teeth together.

"Oh, so you do remember," I said.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up!_ Rose tossed the ball and it landed right in my hand like I was a well-trained umpire.

"What's he talking about?" Emmett asked Rosalie, though he wasn't suspicious of anything.

"Edward just thinks he's being funny," she told him as she narrowed her eyes at me.

And then I heard it in Alice's thoughts, drifting to me from the kitchen. _"Come on, Bella. Do a shot with me."_ So, Bella _was _here. The thought made my spirits lighten, though I know it shouldn't have. A small smile crept onto my face. But it was my turn on the table, and I couldn't let that distract me. I aimed the ball for the back left cup and tossed it over the table. It landed in the exact cup that I'd intended it to. Tanya jumped up and down, cheering. She turned to me, her blue eyes seeming unusually lifeless and dull as she kissed me on the cheek. Hadn't her eyes sparkled before? And then I felt like a spotlight was suddenly drowning out everyone else... and focusing on the girl standing a mere ten feet away from me. I looked at Bella, my small smile still in place. It wanted to talk to her, wanted to say something... anything. But then she just... fucking turned her head and walked away, as if she didn't give a fuck.

I guess I deserved that.

My eyes followed her as she disappeared into the crowd of people in the living room and reappeared on the other side, flopping down on the white leather couch. And then I saw Tyler fucking Crowley come up and sit next down next to her.

I was having a hard time remembering what I was doing. Tanya and I won beer pong quickly, kicking Rosalie and Emmett off the table. And then, as if it wasn't enough that Crowley had come to sit down next to this innocent and untainted girl, that little stoner fuck actually packed a bowl an began smoking it in front of her. At the same time, the three harpies were now trying to eat me alive. Looking at the three of them, I noticed a change. Once upon a time, I used to only think of Irina and Kate as the horrible man eaters and that Tanya was simply misunderstood. But a change had come. Though Tanya looked the same as she did before (fucking sexy), I no longer saw her as being any different from her friends, if you could call them that. She was just the same as the others, a gluttonous deviant.

The three of them were saying something to me, though I really couldn't have told you exactly _what _they were saying. I was more focused on Crowley's thoughts. I heard him give Bella the low-down on my bad reputation. Maybe she'd realize then what kind of a person I was, whether or not there was any validity to that report. But my fists clenched together as I heard his new train of thought.

_... pretty cute. Wonder if she gives head? But she doesn't smoke weed. I'll just have to get her drunk and find out if she does. Maybe I could even find out what she's got underneath that black tank top. Too bad for Cullen that he's not gonna fuck this bitch tonight; I'll be taking care of that. And it's too bad she won't smoke this. Mike laced it with a bunch of shit. It'd put a first-timer flat on their ass. One hit and she'd be fucking gone in five minutes. Then I could fuck around with her..._

And I was so close to just going over there and getting her away from him. But no, I trusted that she wasn't stupid enough to allow him to get her that fucked up.

Or maybe she was.

I watched as suddenly she made eye contact with me and brought Tyler's pipe up to her lips. Oh, fuck no.

I pushed past the three Sirens who were fighting for my attention and ran as fast as I could to where Bella sat. I pushed through the crowd in the living room until she came into sight. She hadn't released the smoke into her lungs yet. Thank God.

I snatched the pipe out of her grip before she could release the carb and threw it at Crowley. Ash flew all over his expensive white hoody and I suppressed a grin.

I just had to get her out of there. So I took her to the back porch. I had to save her, and then I had to tell her why she couldn't talk to me. And so that's what I did. But how could I resist? She was giving me every reason in the world to just break the fuck down and tell her that I was sorry and I'd never make her feel like shit ever again. And I told her I was no good for her. Over and over. But of course, Bella found a loop-hole for that. She made me question myself. Could I be a decent enough person to be friends with someone so much better than myself?

"Let's just try and be friends, okay?" she said. And then the inner battle raged on.

Could I be "just friends" with Bella without corrupting her? Aside from my family, was it even possible for me to be friends with a decent human being? I wanted to say something like "That'll never work" or "I can't be 'just friends' with somebody without hurting them", but I didn't say anything like that. Why? Because I'm a stupid and selfish mother fucker.

"Just friends?" I asked.

"Just friends," she promised.

"Okay,"

And with that, I knew I had just begun digging my own grave.

--------------------

And there you have it, loves. Don't worry, Chapter 8 is already in the works. I won't be such a slacker next time.

Don't forget to add the "Psycho" MySpace page (if you have a MySpace). I 'm considering making a LJ account for those of you don't have a MySpace and would rather not get one ever.

Are the review = crack analogies getting old?

Nevermind, I don't care.

Reviews are crack. I want crack.


	8. Submission and Acquiescence

So sorry for the long wait! I had some issues with this chapter but I know where this one is gonna go.

Just a heads up, this chapter is going to give my NC-17 rating some merit. And it's all EPOV. I thought his perspective would be the most interesting.

And a special thanks to **justaskalice** for being a kickass beta. =]

Happy reading.

-kfm

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EPOV

The rest of the weekend was uneventful and went by quickly. Before I knew it, it was Monday morning and the sun was shining right through that fucking glass wall and directly into my face again. I assessed that whoever decided to make one side of this house entirely out of glass deserved to be shot and fed to the pigs. But I smiled anyway, stretching my tired arms. Because today I would get to see my friend Bella. Bella, my friend.

Jasper, who had officially asked Alice out at the party, and I were on our way to school, both with stupid grins on our faces as we smoked our cigarettes and stared out the windows of the Volvo.

"So, I've gotta ask. What're you so damn happy about?" Jasper asked as we neared the school. "You've had this shit-eating grin on your face all morning."

"I could say the same thing about you, ya know," I told him.

_Yeah,_ he thought. _But I've got a legit reason. I've got a new, smoking hot girlfriend. Why are _you_ so damn jolly?_

"What? A guy can't be happy for no reason?"

_Not you, Edward Cullen._

I shrugged. "Good things are happening, that's all."

_And would these good things involve a certain Bella Swan?_ he asked.

"Perhaps..."

"Perhaps, my white ass," he said. "You've been in a good mood ever since that party on Saturday and you didn't even get that drunk." I just smiled at his statement. Jasper was quiet for a moment, but when I didn't answer he got frustrated. "Come on, man! You've gotta give me some answers!" he pleaded.

"Fine," I said. "Give me some questions and I'll give you some answers."

"Okay." Jasper thought it out for a second as he took a drag off his cigarette. "How about you tell me what you and Bella were talking about on Saturday night? I saw you two outside…"

"Initially," I said. "I was just warning her about the company she keeps."

_The company she keeps?_ Jasper wondered.

"Tyler Crowley was talking to her," I explained.

_Oh…_

It was understood at Forks High School that Tyler Crowley, Mike Newton and Austin Marks were the ultimate douche bags. They were that particularly vile type of asshole that preyed on the drunk and innocent girls at parties. The biggest problem was that they played their game exactly right. Their exterior was safe and inviting. They used their nice clothes and unthreatening good looks to their advantage, drawing girls in with their money and unassuming small talk. And then they offer the girl a drink or a few hits of weed. Once the girls are fucked up enough to be completely defenseless, the guys make their move.

_So what happened after that?_ Jasper asked.

"Well, we decided to just be friends."

"Just friends?" he asked out loud.

I nodded. "Yeah…" I figured I could leave out the part where I'd tried to convince her to stay away from me.

"And how's that gonna work?" Jasper asked me.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that it's obvious you like her. There's no way in hell that you can be 'just friends'. You moved way past the friend zone the second you stuck your tongue down her throat."

I looked at Jasper in shock. "I never fucking told you a-"

"My girlfriend is her best friend who also just so happens to be a psychic." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Did you really think I wouldn't know?"

I rolled my eyes. "Alice…" I said. "Of course, she'd tell you." I threw my cigarette butt out the open window as we pulled into the school parking lot. Late, as usual.

I was anxious during my first and second period class. I wasn't sure why. I had this fucked up feeling in the pit of my stomach that I wasn't sure if I liked or not. It only became worse when I saw Alice in my third hour class. I walked into the room and there she sat in the desk directly behind mine.

"Hey, buddy…" she said brightly.

"Alice." I gave her a slight nod as I took my seat.

"How's your day been?" she asked.

"Fine, I guess." I turned around to face her. I caught something in her thoughts that made me curious. "You're coming over to the house today?" She nodded.

"Jasper's going to ask me at lunch," she explained.

"Is it just you? Or…" I trailed off.

Alice knitted her eyebrows together. "I'm not sure. I think-" But she was suddenly cut off by the bell. _I'll talk to you at lunch,_ she thought.

But at lunch Alice was otherwise occupied. Jasper entered the lunch room, wearing his faggy-looking skinny jeans with Alice in tow. They were staring at each other so damn intently as they walked that I couldn't believe they weren't running into anything. And I was surprised to see that they were already so infatuated with each other, but what surprised me more was the fact that I wasn't put off by their sappy love shit. Jasper took his usual seat across the table from me and Alice settled next to him.

_Where're Rosalie and Emmett?_ Alice wondered. I laughed aloud.

"What?" Jasper asked me.

"Would you like to explain to Alice where your charming sister and our dear adopted brother are?" I asked him. Jasper groaned and turned to Alice.

"They're usually desecrating the vacant boy's locker room right about now," he explained. "It only takes them about three minutes." Jasper and I laughed. Emmett might've been known for his endurance on the football field, but when it came to sex it never seemed to take long.

"Oh," Alice said. Then she made a face. "Eww…"

"Yeah," Jasper said. "I know. And my room is right next to Emmett's. Dude sounds like a damn grizzly when he's-"

"La la la la la la la la!" Alice covered her ears in an attempt to drown out what Jasper was about to say. He laughed and put his arms around her and she lowered her hands.

"You're too cute," he told her. She smiled back up at him and he gave her a quick kiss.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Please tell me you two won't be the next 'Rose and Em'," I said. I made a disgusted noise and they laughed.

"Oh, don't worry," Alice said to me without tearing her gaze away from Jasper. "I know we won't be that bad." Then she turned her attention to the main entrance of the cafeteria. A few seconds later, Bella walked through the threshold. "Bella! Over here!" Alice called. Bella turned her brown eyes towards us, but she wasn't looking at Alice. Her chocolate eyes were focused on me. A small half-smile crept onto my face without my permission and she returned the gesture, walking toward the table. Bella hesitated as she got to the table but decided to sit next to me. Friends sit next to each other. That should be fine, right? That's what friends do. Friends. They sit next to each other at lunch.

"Hey, friend," she said.

"Hey," I told her.

"So," Bella said as she unloaded her lunch. "I was thinking about that, er, promise I made this weekend." She spoke low enough that Alice couldn't hear, though she probably wouldn't have noticed Bella saying anything. She was too busy being all kissy face and shit with Jasper.

"Yes?" I quirked an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Well," she said hesitantly as she glanced at Alice. "I was thinking I'd take you up on that." I was surprised. I hadn't actually thought that Bella wanted to get high. I had an internal debate. Alice would probably have my fucking head if I got her sister stoned. Then again, if Bella really wanted to get high, then I'm sure she'd find a way to do it with or without me.

"What brought this on?" I asked. Bella looked hesitantly over at the Alice-Jasper Unibeast before reaching into her book bag and grabbing her notebook and a pen. She flipped to a clean page and wrote something down before handing it to me.

**_Alice has always told me that I need to go out more and do something fun. I don't really plan on becoming a stoner or anything, but she's right._**

I read it and scoffed before grabbing the pen from in front of her and writing back.

**_And you think that sparking up a doobie is a good way to have some fun?_**

She rolled her eyes. She wrote something down again and shoved the notebook back to me.

**_That's not what I meant, but I'm seventeen for Christ's sake! Isn't having fun what being teenager is all about? Shouldn't I live a little?_**

I grabbed the pen again.

**_So this isn't just some way to prove me wrong about what I said at the party? About partying and getting fucked up not being you?_**

I gave the notebook back to her and she knitted her eyebrows.

**_Not at all. I've already given you my reasons and I promised you that if I ever smoked I'd do it with you. I want to try it. Do it with me._**

I rubbed my forehead. This was exactly what I was afraid of, that I'd turn her into just another one of those brainless druggy sluts like Tanya and her little crew. I liked Bella the way she was; untainted, unpolluted. But it didn't matter what I wanted Bella to be, but I refused to be the reason behind her becoming someone else. I wrote back to her.

**_I don't want you to become like the rest of the bitches in this school._**

She smiled.

**_You don't have to worry about that. I'm not interested in becoming a crack whore anytime soon. Now, will you please do it with me?_**

I sighed.

**_I'll think about it._**

"Hey Alice, you wanna maybe come over this afternoon?" Jasper said as he came up for air after detaching himself from Alice's mouth. Alice grinned.

"Of course."

Bella groaned. "Great. So now I'm going to be stuck at the house all by myself." She started picking at the granola bar she'd just removed from her sandwich bag.

_Invite her over!_ Alice yelled to me in her head. I sighed. Great. After the conversation Bella and I had just had, if I invited her over now then she'd be expecting me to get her high. But I'd be a prick if I didn't say anything.

"Bella," I said, turning to her again. She looked up at me expectantly. "You wanna come over, too?" For some reason, her cheeks flushed the most adorable shade of pink.

"Umm, sure," she said hesitantly. "Let me just tell Renèe." Bella pulled out her phone and began texting beneath the table.

"It's settled then," Alice said cheerily.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

--------------------

Alice and Bella were already waiting next to the Volvo with Jasper when I came out to the parking lot. My heart was thumping in my chest. Bella was coming over to my house. Naturally, she'd see my room, see where I lived and did all those little mundane things that everyone does. She'd see where I got dressed in the morning. She'd see where I showered and brushed my teeth. She'd see where I ate breakfast (on those rare occasions when I had time for breakfast). And oddly enough, the thought gave me that jittery feeling in my stomach again. It was a feeling that I decided I kind of liked, though a sense of unease usually accompanied it.

And she'd expect me to smoke her up. I'd be mulling over the idea in my head for the rest of the day. And I could tell Bella was excited. She'd seemed a little more animated than usual that day in Biology.

Jasper and I lit cigarettes before we even left the school parking lot.

"Can't you guys get suspended for that?" Bella asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Probably," I said, blowing out smoke.

"And you're not at all concerned?"

I smirked at her. "I probably would be if I gave a fuck."

She shook her head with a small smile. "I guess I should've realized that. You clearly have complete disregard for the law."

"Edward and I have a very 'fuck tha po-lice' mind-set," Jasper chimed in from the backseat. Bella rolled her eyes. I was surprised she didn't say anything being that her dad was one of those police that we said "fuck it" to.

"Aww, that's so cute," Alice giggled. Jasper smiled at her.

"You think so?" he asked as he rubbed his nose against hers. "Well, I think _you're _so cute." And they resumed their make-out session from earlier in the day.

"Seriously, you two? Again?" Bella rolled her eyes.

"I think I just threw up in my mouth a little," I added.

When we reached the house, Jasper led Alice around the house and to the creek out back. Fucking fabulous. Now Bella and I would be alone.

"So," Bella said, turning to me once we were inside. "How about it?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked away. My room was a mess and that would be the only place we could smoke. And I still wasn't even sure about doing what Bella had in mind. "Wait here for a second," I said to her and flew up the stairs to the third floor. I flung my bedroom door open and looked around. I grabbed all the clothes off my floor and flung them into my closet. I spotted my journal laying open on the nightstand. I shoved it under my bed. I even made my fucking bed real quick which I hadn't done in years. When I figured my room was somewhat presentable I ran back down the stairs to the foyer, but Bella wasn't there. I looked towards the living room. Not there either. I wandered over into the room adjoining the foyer and found her there with her back turned to me.

"Whose is this?" she asked without turning. Huh, I thought I'd been quiet enough that she wouldn't have heard me. But she was currently running her fingers along the ivory keys of the grand piano in the center of the large room.

"Mine," I replied simply. She turned her face to me with a slightly surprised expression.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" I sauntered over to her and fiddled with a couple of the piano keys.

"Prove it." I stopped my idle playing and looked at her. Her eyes were solemn as they stared into mine. It made me feel exposed, like _she_ was the mind-reader. I abruptly closed the cover over the keys.

"Maybe later," I said. "But for now, I believe there's a promise that needs keeping."

Bella's eyes widened. "Really?"

I shrugged. "I'd rather you do it with me than someone like Tyler Crowley." I walked out of the room and up the stairs to the third floor with Bella following me. We reached the door of my room and I turned to her.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked. I guess I kind of fucking hoped that she'd change her mind. But just like I knew she would, she nodded. "Alright." I said with a sigh and opened the door to my room. I went and sat down on the bed. She looked at me hesitantly and bit her lower lip. I wouldn't admit to myself that her little lip bite was just a bit sexy.

I rolled my eyes at her and patted the space next to me on my bed. "Sit the fuck down, Bella. I won't bite." _Hard._ I couldn't help but think it. _No. No, Bella's your friend. Your _friend_. Nothing more. So keep it G rated, with the minor exception of drug use._ Bella climbed on to the bed next to me looking all uncertain and shit. I reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a black metal box from the drawer, setting it on my lap. She looked at me curiously and I reached into my pocket and withdrew a small key that fit into the lock on the box. I opened it up and she craned her neck to see what was inside.

"Damn," she said, looking at the contents. "Think you've got enough paraphernalia there?" The box held several glass and metal pipes, a few chillums and one-hitters, papers, cigarillos and a miniature bong. Not to mention the large sandwich bag filled with the best dank one could find in the 300 mile radius. But there was a little bit less in the bag since the last time I'd seen it. Fucking Jasper must've pinched some of it while I was in the hospital. He was the only one who'd known where I'd hid the key was while I was gone. I'd kick his ass for it later.

"Not nearly," I said as I pulled out the weed from bag and began breaking it up. "I've got some more shit stashed around this place."

"It seems a little excessive."

I smiled as I continued breaking up the nuggets. "You shouldn't judge the person who's about to smoke you up for free." I pulled out a paper and filled it with the pot. "I'm still not entirely convinced that you should be doing this, anyway."

I heard a returning smile in her voice as she spoke. "Is that supposed to be a threat?"

I rolled up the paper. "Not at all." I licked it. "You'd know if it was a threat. I'd be a little more direct about it." I flicked on a lighter and ran the flame along the length of the joint, sealing it shut. I inspected my handy-work. I pearled that shit, as usual. I turned back to Bella who was twirling one of the ends of a lock of her long dark hair. She was nervous and it made me waver more. "And you still want to do this?" I asked. But her answer was clear in her big brown eyes. Through the nerves, they danced with excitement. Her smile broke out into a full grin.

"Yes."

"Okay." I put the joint up to my mouth and lit the end. The smoke hit my lungs hard. I hadn't smoked since before I'd been admitted. I was trying to cut back. So naturally, it hit me harder than usual. I attempted to hold it in as I passed it to Bella. I fucking choked. The smoke came out in a huge burst and I coughed like all hell. I tried to settle my lungs and watch Bella with the joint. She put it up to her lips, sucked in and blew out the smoke immediately. No choking.

"You're doing it wrong." I grabbed the joint from her. "You need to inhale it and hold it. Watch." I put the joint back up to my lips and sucked in smoke again. I made a show of inhaling the smoke in my mouth and passed it back to her before exhaling. The smoke was a little more merciful to my lungs this time. She took it and eyed me.

"Like this?" Bella put it back up to her mouth, sucked in smoke and inhaled. She tried to hold it in but she'd taken too big a hit. She coughed out the smoke in large gusts and her eyes watered. I couldn't help but smirk a little.

"Now you've got it," I said, taking the joint from her. "You'll be feeling that one." I hit it again as she tried to settle her coughing. Once her coughing fit had ended, she held her hand out for another hit.

"More," she said.

I smirked. "Greedy, aren't we?" I obliged and handed the joint back to her.

After a few hits I began feeling that familiar clouded sensation in my head. And if I was feeling it, then Bella was definitely feeling it, too. We both laid back on my bed and I looked over at her. She was hitting the remainder of the joint before handing it to me. I'd seen so many girls smoke weed before, but Bella made it look different. She made it beautiful. The way her pouty lips parted ever so slightly to allow a smooth stream of smoke to escape from between them. Her long dark hair splayed around her as she lay on my bed. Her eyes we puffy and glazed as she turned to me, though not blood shot. She shot me a half-smile.

"You're staring at me, Edward," she said. Oh shit, I was staring at Bella.

"It's my room. I can stare at whatever the fuck I feel like staring at," I responded. She looked at me strangely for a second before a fit of laughter overtook her. She buried her face in her small hands as her laughter shook the bed slightly. I watched her for a moment. What the hell was so fucking funny?

"What the hell is so fucking funny?" I asked. She removed her hands from her face to wipe tears from her eyes, laughter barely contained. "What?" I asked again.

She bit her lip again before answering. "It's not a bad thing. In fact," she said. "It's kind of cute…"

"Just tell me, Bella."

She was still smiling. "You..." she began. She giggled a little more. "You kind of have a butt-chin." Bella curled up again in laughter. I brought my hand up to my chin, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"Shut up," I said. But Bella's laughter was contagious and I soon found myself not caring as I started laughing along with her. "So?" I said. "Besides Alice, you're one of the shortest people I know. You guys are like… the fucking midget twins or some shit." God, weed made you say some of the dumbest shit sometimes.

"Oh yeah?" she challenged. "Well, you have JBF hair."

I raised an eyebrow. "JBF hair?"

"'Just Been Fucked' hair," she explained.

"I hardly see how that's a bad thing," I replied. "And that's just a natural fact about me. I have perpetual sex hair. So, if we're going to play the 'State the Obvious' game, then my response is that you have brown eyes."

"You have green eyes," she replied.

"Your skin is really pale."

"Your skin is nearly as pale as mine."

"Your hair almost reaches your waist."

"Your hair is the oddest shade of bronze."

"You have tiny hands."

"You've got really long fingers."

"Your top lip is just slightly fuller than your bottom lip."

"Your lips are perfect."

I hadn't truly grasped the fact that Bella and I were both lying down in my bed all alone up until that moment.

And in that moment, I realized something else.

What was I doing? Was I fucking crazy? I was laying in bed with a beautiful girl and we were both completely ripped. And this girl had just told me that my lips were perfect. It was like a recipe for disaster. What had I been thinking? Did I really expect to get high with Bella on my bed and not have Round 2 of the kiss we'd shared at the hospital? And I was pretty sure she was expecting the same thing because she was giving me that same look that she'd had right before I'd kissed her that night. _Just friends._ The words echoed in my head and I was reminded of why I couldn't let this kiss happen. I had to end this before it began. I had to break this trance her eyes had put me in.

I sat up abruptly (or as abruptly as one could while high). "Here, check this out." I reluctantly got up off my bed and turned on my iPod, which was plugged into the surround sound stereo. I went to the playlist entitled "Floating". It was all music that made you feel like you were floating when you were high, hence the name. I shuffled it and sprawled back down on the bed as the first song began playing. I recognized it. Waiting by Shiny Toy Guns. It had the most intoxicating beat. I'd discovered it by accident one time when I'd been smoking by myself. I'd downloaded the album but never really listened to it. I'd put my iPod on shuffle that day and this song came up, locking me in and all but hypnotizing me.

I looked back at Bella, who appeared closer now than before. She still gazed at me with that expectant expression. Was she _trying _to break me? Was she _trying _to break my resolve to just be friends? She just looked so damn beautiful. And the smallest amount of sunlight broke through the clouds, filtered through the glass wall and landed on Bella, who was laying on my bed and looking absolutely stunning with her dark waves of hair all around her.

And this _song_. _This fucking song_. It's slow, heart-beat tempo was not helping to convince me to keep myself away from this perfect, untainted creature. I wanted it. She wanted it. So why not just fucking take it?

Because it was wrong.

But it was right.

It felt like minutes had passed, but time was warped. I'd probably only returned to the bed about twenty seconds ago.

And I just couldn't do it any longer. I wasn't strong enough.

"Bella," I whispered. I don't know if I said her name to get her attention (which I knew I already had) or if I just liked the way her name rolled off my tongue. Her eyes brightened at the sound of me saying it.

And slowly, ever so slowly, I moved towards her. I was still laying on the bed and our eyes were still locked on each other. I swear I could hear her heart begin racing. I inched closer to her until she was right next to me with my face hovering just above hers. I lowered myself down, anticipation building. The last kiss had been spontaneous. This had been thought out. It was a process. Her face was just inches away from mine now. Our breathing had picked up. Her chest heaved and lowered and her warm breath blew across my face. I stopped moving closer and I had to ask because I just had to know for sure.

"Is this okay?" I asked her. And she nodded, a small smile flirting at the corner of her lips. And then I closed the gap between us, gently brushing her lips with mine. I kissed her top lip and then moved to bottom one, nibbling on it ever so slightly. She parted her lips and ran her tongue along my bottom lip, silently asking me to take it in my mouth. And I did, caressing the tip of her tongue with my own. Bella withdrew her tongue momentarily to suck my lower lip into her mouth, grazing it with her teeth as she did. I sighed when she released it and brought my lips back to hers. I couldn't help it. It felt so damn good to have my lips against, around and in between hers again.

I brought my hand up and buried it in her hair close to her head. I felt her small hand move up towards my face, gently tracing my jaw line and my cheek bones with a gentle, feather-light touch. And it was then that I noticed it; the gentle vibrations that hummed through my body in reaction to Bella's skin on mine. Anywhere she touched me, my jaw, my cheek and now my neck, was instantly warmed from her touch and her fingers left the oddest tingle in their wake. And then her hand went lower as I took her tongue back in my mouth.

I thought she was going to just put her hand on my chest but I felt it search lower, down to my stomach and to my waist. And then she ducked her hand beneath my black t-shirt and continued with her soft touch up the contours of my back. I shivered.

And I just had to touch, needed to touch her in return. I snaked my arms beneath her and pulled her to sit up with me, never removing my lips from hers. I took my hands and held her face in between them. I pulled her face closer to mine, kissing her with a little more force, more intensity. Our tongues battled and I could feel her fingers tugging on the hem of my shirt. I pulled back for a moment and stared into those brown eyes that had turned nearly black. Was she trying to do I think she was trying to do? Bella gave me a small smile before slowly pulling my shirt over my head. Yes, that was _exactly_ what I thought she was trying to do.

She tossed my shirt off to the side and ran her hands over my naked chest. Then her smile turned into a smirk as she pushed me back onto the bed with a little force. She straddled me and did something that surprised the hell out of me. She grabbed my wrists and put them above my head, restraining me.

Fuck, that shit's hot.

She'd taken my shirt off and I wanted nothing more than to return the favor, but her dominance told me that that wasn't going to happen unless it was under her terms. Bella's lips were suddenly at my neck, nipping and running the tip of her tongue in circles along the places she'd bitten. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. I was getting hard between us. I was sure she could feel it, but she paid it no attention, continuing to kiss her way down my neck, along my collarbones and to my nipple. Oh God. What the fuck was happening? I was stronger than her. I could've just released my wrists from her grip and taken her shirt off myself, but I wasn't going to let myself do that. Not until she wanted to.

And I tried so hard to control myself as Bella circled one of my nipples with her tongue and grazed it with her teeth before moving over to the next one. This shit was _really_ getting out of hand. But my self-control paid off. She released my wrists and sat up, settling herself on my lap and my erection. I gave out a small hiss when she did, wanting more of that movement. She brought her hands to the hem of her black band t-shirt and pulled it over her head, revealing the silky midnight-blue bra that I'd caught a peek of that day we'd helped Alice pack.

Oh shit, Alice. She and Jasper were too far off for me to hear but Alice had to know about this by now. She would definitely kill me this time. Fuck. I was dead.

But suddenly, visions of Alice chasing me around with a kitchen knife vanished because Bella's hands were back on me. She ran them over my stomach, up to my chest and over my shoulders. She had this strange expression on her face. It was like a look of wonder or astonishment. And I was more frustrated than ever that I didn't know what she was thinking. I took in her topless form with my eyes. Her skin here was even paler than the complexion of her face. Or maybe the deep blue of her bra made it appear that way. Her long brown hair cascaded down past her shoulders, against her chest and fell to her waist. And watching her small figure straddling me made it hard to resist grabbing her hips and pushing her down onto my raging hard on. But I would let her lead. I would follow.

Bella leaned in again and I caught a fucking glorious view of her exposed cleavage before she pressed her lips to mine again. And I could feel the silkiness of her bra against my chest now. It rubbed against one of my nipples and made my dick impossibly harder. I reached my hands up and set them hesitantly on her ribs as our tongues rolled around in each others mouths. I inched my hands up experimentally until both of my hands were cupping her tits. Fuck, I'd love to have put my hands beneath that bra, but I knew that I was pushing it even now. I gently massaged until I pressed my thumbs into her breasts through the blue silk and rolled them over her nipples. A small gasp escaped from her mouth into mine. So, she liked that shit. I ran my thumbs over her erect nipples again and she moaned the fucking sexiest moan I'd ever heard as she bucked her hips against my crotch. My dick twitched when I could feel her center rub against it through our jeans.

And I had to do something, anything to hear her make that sexy moan again.

I flipped her over so that I was on top of her and still in between her legs. I could feel her through my jeans even more now with my weight pushed into her. _God, if we weren't wearing any pants right now I could be fucking her. _I lowered my lips down to her jaw line and then to her neck. Hoping she liked teeth, I bit down on the tender skin of her neck. In response, I felt her nails claw up my back. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I released her neck from my mouth. I fucking loved it.

"I fucking love that," I told her. "When you dig your nails into me."

"I can tell," Bella said, writhing her hips against my throbbing erection to make it clear that she _could _tell. The friction drove me insane.

"Fuck," I said through gritted teeth.

I resumed my kissing down to her collarbones, rolling my tongue out to lick them. I moved my kisses down to her tits and found her sensitive nipples, biting them softly through the fabric. She gasped again. I moved to the other nipple and grazed that one with my teeth through the smooth fabric as well.

"Fuck, Edward..." she said, arching her back. Fuck yes, please say my name. But it wasn't that same sexy moan that I was looking for. I continued my descent and trailed a line of kisses down her stomach and to her navel. She had this lip on the upper part of her belly button that my tongue played with. And I began planting kisses in a line further and further down until I reached the top of her low-rise jeans. I looked up at her face. She'd propped herself up on her elbows and she was looking down at me, her tits moving steadily up and down as she breathed heavily. Her lust-filled, dark brown eyes were locked on mine, which I'm sure mirrored her own. And without ever taking my eyes off of hers, I began unbuttoning the button of her jeans. I slowly unzipped the zipper, holding her eyes, and slipped her jeans down. She held her hips up to allow me to slip them the rest of the way off. I tossed them off to the side.

The first thing I noticed when I looked back down was Bella's soft pink panties.

The second thing I noticed was a cursive letter "J" tattooed on her left hip bone.

And because I was a fucking stoned, easily-distracted, horny idiot, I blurted out "What's J?" before I could even stop myself.

And that fucking killed it. Bella sat up and drew her legs up to her chest, hiding the tattoo.

"I'm sorry," I said, withdrawing and sitting back on my feet.

Bella shook her head. "No, it's fine. It's just that..." She bit her lip. "Thinking of him kind of kills it for me, you know?"

"Yeah," I said, thinking of my still very hard dick in my very tight pants. "I do know." She wasn't saying anything so I added. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." And though I really was curious about "J", I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't want to tell me about him. That would give me the opportunity to sneak over to the bathroom to jerk off for about five minutes since Bella clearly wasn't in the mood to help me out with my massively hard cock.

"No," Bella said, turning her attention to the glass. "I'll tell you if you wanna know."

I groaned internally. "Yeah, I do," I said with a sigh. I grabbed my smokes off the nightstand. I'd need a damn cigarette if I was going to make it through this. I pulled one out and lit it.

"But…" She turned to me and smirked. "If I tell you, then you have to promise to do something for me."

"What would I be promising you?"

"Don't worry about it."

I took a drag off my cigarette and shook my head. "I'm not promising shit if I don't know what it is."

"I swear it won't be bad."

"Nope."

"Please, Edward?" she begged, jutting out her lower lip. "Please?"

Damn it, watching Bella beg was like watching something particularly cute like, I don't know… kittens playing in the grass or some shit. It was fucking adorable. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine."

"Really?" Her eyes lit up. "You promise?"

"I promise. Now will you tell me what I've promised to?"

Her grin was devious. "In exchange for me telling you about 'J'," she said. "You have to play your piano for me."

Damn it. I fucked myself on that one.

--------------------

Hope you likey. If you did than you should stroke my ego by dropping me a review.

Or even if you didn't like it, drop me a review.

P.S. I'll be starting a new Twilight fan fiction pretty soon that I'm super excited about. But don't worry, Psycho will not be neglected! And to ensure that it won't be, I won't begin writing the new fic until Psycho is atleast 2/3 of the way done. All I can tell you is that it's AU-Human and is completely inspired by a favorite movie of mine that I'm sure you've all heard of. Can't wait!


	9. Some Things are Better Left in the Past

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Oh, yes, I know. It was very mean of me to tease you all by making you think I actually posted a new chapter. I hate it when authors do that, too. Yes, I'm a douche bag, I know. But the following is just a little update on what's going on with "Psycho" and what not. Hope you're not too pissed at me. *runs and hides*

First things first: I've changed my pen name upon the realization that "kfm-vampyr" is a little gay (no offense to the gays or the vampires. Or the gay vampires, for that matter). From here on out I will be known only as "Charles Obscure". I know this isn't really that important, but I thought I'd make sure you all know so that we can avoid any confusion in the future.

Next order of business: So, you're probably aware that I haven't finished "Psycho", yet. And now that I've got a new story posted you're probably thinking "What the fucking hell?? She's not even done with her first story and she's already moved on!! FINISH 'PSYCHO' FIRST, BITCH!!" And if that _is_ what you're thinking, that would be totally legit. But hear me out. I've finally gotten back into the right frame of mind for writing fan fiction, which means that I would totally be down for completing "Psycho" (finally). However, I've been feeling extremely frusterated with "Psycho". Looking it over today, I noticed a million or more fuck ups and inconsistencies. And compared to my other work, I feel like "Psycho" is so underdeveloped and written on such a juvenile level that, for the most part, I don't even feel like it's worth finishing. And in addition to that, with the dark state of mind I've been in lately, I've found even more challenges in writing for it.

On the other hand, I have at least a few hundred very good reasons to finish it: you guys.

So many of you have believed in my little story from the beginning, despite its flaws. And in addition to that, I know that so many more of you have been waiting very patiently all summer for an update, and the constant support and ego-stroking that you've given me truly makes me want to continue on with it. So, here's the deal: I feel like I'll be able to finish "Psycho" if each of you guys can think of a way in which I can improve it. I know you guys are creative, so throw anything at me that you might like to see happen. I don't mean to sound like someone who's run out of ideas and has to use the ones that other people provide. I simply mean that if I do finish this story, I would be doing it as more of a "thank you" to the fans, so I want it to be 100% for you and about you.

I will let you know by September 25th whether or not I'm going to complete it. In the mean time, check out my new fic "Staying Alive". It's one that I actually began working on prior to "Psycho" but I never got the chance to do anything with it. I feel like it's some of my best work, especially since I've had the opportunity to develop the storyline before trying to write the first couple of chapters. Let me know what you think.

Much love to you all and thanks for the support!

- Charles Obscure

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APOV

"Where are we going?"

Jasper turned to me and grinned impishly, a hint of dimples indenting his cheeks. "Well," he said. "You know how when people get nervous or freaked out they're supposed to go to their 'happy place'?" I nodded. "Well, I'm taking you to _my_ happy place."

"And it's in your backyard?" I asked, looking around the open space.

"No," He pointed to the line of green trees that edged along the yard. "It's in there."

"In the woods? But," I looked down doubtfully at the peach-colored flats I wore on my feet. "I'm not really wearing the most ideal shoes for frolicking through the forest."

"Hmm..." Jasper glanced at a small white tool shed that sat next to the bordering fir trees. "I've got an idea." We changed course and walked across the slightly damp grass over to the shed. Jasper entered it and emerged a second later with a very large pair of black rubber boots.

"I don't think those will fit me, Jasper." My stomach fluttered. It felt so good to say his name. I'd said it so many times in the past when I thought of him or talked about him with Bella, but it was a completely different feeling when I was saying it to his face. I was still kind of in shock whenever I thought about the fact that he was really here and he was _mine_.

"You're not the one who's gonna wear them, silly," he said. Jasper sat down in the grass and began untying his black skate shoes. "Here," He tossed the shoes over to me. "Put these on. They're a little smaller and they have laces so they won't fall off your feet." I smiled at him as I slipped out of my flats and into his black Etnies, lacing them up as tight as they could go. He pulled on the boots and shot up off the ground.

"You're such a gentleman," I told him. He threw me a big, cheesy grin and held out his arm for me to take. I looped my arm around his and we made our way to the trees.

"Thanks, just don't tell my brothers that."

"My lips are sealed."

When we stepped into the forest I swear the whole entire world outside of it disappeared. The light gray clouds were almost completely obscured by the canopy green of leaves and branches that hovered high above our heads. And it didn't take long before the big white house behind us was hidden, as well. We were surrounded by giant oaks, blue spruces and hemlocks as we waded through a sea of green, leafy ferns. After about a few minutes we reached a bubbling creek that appeared to be only a few feet deep and we walked along the edge of it.

"Ah, there it is," Jasper said. He pointed to a small, makeshift bridge that hovered a few inches above the water. As we got closer I could see that it was just two big slabs of plywood that rested on top of few large rocks that sat in the creek. The rushing water slapped noisily against the obstructions before winding its way around them. We approached it and Jasper slid down the soft, brown mud of the steep embankment. He held my hand as I flitted down next to him. "You've gotta be careful when you cross this thing. My brothers and I threw this thing together years ago, so it's not exactly stable." He let go of my hand as he stepped meticulously on to the first board. The other end of the board lifted up like a see-saw. Jasper carefully walked to the middle of the board and the two ends leveled out. The second board seemed to be a little more stable, but not by much. He carefully walked to the other end and stepped onto the soft earth, his boots making a loud squishing sound where he stepped. "Just step where I stepped, Alice," he said to me from the other side of the creek. I rolled my eyes at him and lithely made my way across the bridge in about half the time that it took Jasper to.

"And that's how it's done," I said once I reached him and grinned.

He mussed my hair playfully. "You little show-off."

We made our way deeper into the woods after that with my hand in his. I had no idea how Jasper knew where he was going. We didn't seem to be on any sort of path that I could see.

"There," he said as he pointed to a spot high up in the tall trees. At first, I couldn't see what he was pointing at. But as I scanned the high branches, I spotted a small patch of bright blue in a large Ash tree. It wasn't a natural color. It didn't fit in with the warm earth tones of our surroundings. We walked closer.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"My tree fort."

We reached the tree and I could now see that the blue thing was a tarp covering some kind of stand that was maybe twenty or so feet above our heads. Wooden planks had been nailed into the tree trunk to act as a ladder. "Do you wanna go first or do you want me to?" Jasper asked.

"I'll go first," I said, grabbing onto one of the planks and lifting myself up. "Plus," I added as I started climbing. "It'll give you a chance to enjoy the view." I shook my butt a little.

"No complaints here," he told me with a laugh as he began climbing after me.

The footholds led to a small fort settled in the top branches. There didn't appear to be any entrance. "How do I get in?" I asked him.

"Go underneath it. There's a hole you climb through to get inside," he said from below me. There was about three feet of space between the fort's floor and a large split in a bow of the tree. I crawled beneath it, found the hole in the floor and made my way through it.

The inside of the little house was about six feet wide and five feet long. The ceiling was high enough for me to be comfortable but low enough that someone as tall as Jasper would have to hunch. There were no openings except for the hole in the floor but the space was illuminated in a dim blue glow from the tarp that covered it. I had just noticed the random drawings and words written all over the walls when Jasper pulled himself through the opening.

"What do you think?" he asked as he sat down next to the hole in the floor.

"Actually," I said as I assessed the place. "I kind of like it." I settled down on the floor next to him. He smiled and put his hand in mine.

"You know, I'd wanted a tree house so much when I was little." Jasper's eyes drifted around the tiny enclosure. I looked at his face and his expression surprised me. His green eyes were suddenly distant, as if he were lost in another time. "My dad had promised me we'd build one together once he got better." His dad had been sick? I would've asked but I didn't want to interrupt. He looked down at our clasped hands and grimaced. "But he never got better. I suppose that's what drove my mom to the booze and dope." I squeezed his hand and a half-smile flitted across his face. I wanted him to continue. In that moment, I had suddenly grasped the fact that while I'd loved him for so long in my dreams, I didn't really know him at all. The realization stung just a bit, as if this made him less mine.

"Carlisle and Esme adopted Rose and me when she was eleven and I was nine. Emmett and Edward were already here. They'd taken Edward in when he was six and Emmett when he was nine. I'd never had brothers before. I was really excited." He paused for a moment to grab his pack of Newports from his pocket and lit a cigarette for himself. He inhaled the smoke and blew it out in a cloudy stream towards the opening next to him before continuing. "Carlisle wanted nothing more than for all of us to feel like this was our home. He and Esme were quick to attend to our every need. That's why we built this." Jasper waved his hand with the cigarette around the room and took another drag off of it. "Because I'd told him how much I'd always wanted a tree house. So Carlisle helped Emmett, Edward and me build it.

"We used to spend every fuckin' day up here just fuckin' around. Even Rosalie. It was the one place where we could talk about anything. This place is filled with so many memories. Like Emmett explaining sex to Edward and me when we were both ten year olds. Or the first time Edward and I got high. That was also Emmett's doing. Rosalie and Emmett had their first kiss up here. I guess Edward got his first blow job here, too. I think it was from Irina Dresden."

"Eww," I said, looking around the room and wondering where the abomination had transpired. Jasper laughed. He released my hand and crawled over to the other side of the shelter, searching for something on the wall. He flicked his lighter on.

"Ah," he said and pointed to one of the scribblings on the wall. "Here it is. Yup, definitely Irina." I crawled over to him and looked at what he was pointing to. In black permanent marker was written "_**HAHA, FUCKERS. IRINA SUCKED ME OFF. - EDWARD, 7/12/05**_" in bold print. I giggled. That was so Edward.

"And over here," he said, moving down the wall and pointing to another spot. "Everything in this corner is from the first time we got high."

I moved down with him and looked. There were pot leaves drawn all over it and random things that didn't make much sense out of context. "_**You're sucking too hard, Jazz! And that's the wrong end, anyway. – Emmett, 4/20/04**_" "_**I can't get comfortable. I'm too hard." – Edward, 4/20/04**_" "_**It's the fucking devil! He's talking to me!" – Jasper, 4/20/04**_". I looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.

"All I've gotta say is, don't listen to Cradle of Filth when you're stoned," he said.

"I'll keep that in mind." I looked back at the wall and scanned more of the writings. "So, what happened? Why don't you guys come out here anymore?"

He shrugged. "Once Emmett and Rosalie got serious and Edward turned into the lazy-ass, man-whore, stoner we know and love today, they didn't have time for this place anymore." Jasper grimaced and rolled the cigarette between his fingers. "Now it's just me."

I crawled along the wall, scanning the words. As my eyes ran along the different quotes and drawings, one in particular caught my attention. "_**JH + JS**_" I narrowed my eyes.

"Who's 'JS'?" I asked, trying to keep the spite in my voice to a bare minimum. I sat back on my feet and crossed my arms.

"Oh, shit, I forgot about that," Jasper said sheepishly from the corner. I turned my head and eyed him. He took a slow drag off of his cigarette before answering me, eyes cast down. The term "awkward" couldn't even begin to describe the new emotional climate in the small room. "That's Jessica, an ex-girlfriend of mine."

White hot jealously ripped through my chest. I knew it was ridiculous. Of course he'd had girlfriends before me. Jasper was a virgin, but that didn't mean he'd been single for the past seventeen years. Besides, _I_ had him now. That should be all that mattered.

But still…

"You're not like… jealous, are you?" Jasper rubbed the lit end of his cigarette on the floor and threw the butt down the hole. He moved towards me on his hands and knees, his rubber boots clunking on the plywood floor. He reached his hand up to my face and delicately drew his fingers along my cheekbone. "Are you?" he wondered. His eyes searched my face, looking for the answer that wasn't being spoken. The intense green of his eyes grew alight with inquisition. I looked away, searching the walls once again for nothing.

"No," I lied.

"Hey," Jasper said as he brought his hand to my chin, turning my head to face him. His eyes had grown from inquisitive to solemn. "You know you don't have to worry about that shit, right? Yeah, I've had girlfriends before, but they were nothing to me. But you," He smiled, dropped his hand and scooted across the dirty brown floor to get closer to me. "You're different." I could not doubt the look in his eyes. It was overwhelming, like a crushing emotion deep within my chest. How could we possibly already feel so deeply for each other? But I wasn't going to question it, just bask in it.

"How different?" I asked with a smile. I turned and sat against the wall, my back to the "_**JH + JS**_". He moved up against the wall and mirrored my pose.

"You're better than any other girl I've ever met. I could actually see me-" Jasper cut himself off and suddenly became very interested in the floor.

"What?" I asked.

"It's nothing." He shook it off.

"No, tell me. I want to know," I said softly. I moved my hand onto his and twined our fingers. He smiled and turned his piercing gaze back to me.

"I could actually see myself falling in love with you," he said.

It was if the world had suddenly shifted around us. The surrounding air had turned into static and my body felt suddenly weightless, as if I was floating. Jasper was everything I'd wanted right from the start. He'd given my life meaning so long ago and now I could finally do the same for him. Jasper was a gift from the gods. His energy, his beauty; it was intoxicating.

And I was all too aware that we'd only ever had one kiss.

"Kiss me, Jasper." I squeezed his hand. His eyes sparkled and danced at my request.

"Of course," he replied.

He pulled me over to him by the hand and brought me to his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he snaked his around my waist. So slowly, he brought his soft lips to my forehead and kissed me tenderly, moving down to my nose and then finally my lips. I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling of his lips against my skin. Jasper's kisses were like a shot of morphine straight into my veins, or what I'd always imagined morphine feeling like. Warm, soothing, addictive. But that was just how Jasper was. The second he was by my side, any unease or distress I'd felt was instantly washed away and forgotten. He was better than any kind of drug. Vicodin, weed, Valium, heroin, Xanax. Jasper was _my _drug, _my _addiction.

His mouth parted against mine, moving from my top lip to my bottom lip. I responded and tightened my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me. His lips responded to my touch with more urgency as he brought my lower lip into his mouth. I drew the fingers of my right hand up his neck and tangled them through his blond waves of hair and I pulled away for a second to adjust my legs to straddle him. Jasper smiled at me again before returning his lips to mine. His hands on my waist slid up to my shoulder blades and he pushed me against him, our chests clashing together. And to feel his chest on mine ignited me. My other hand moved from his neck to join the other one twisted into his hair. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and withdrew it quickly, teasing me. And I truly needed him in that moment. I needed him to satiate this burning need I had. His tongue slipped into my mouth once again but this time he tickled the tip of my tongue with his own.

He was mine.

I wanted to prove it. I wanted everyone to know.

So I moved my lips to his cheek and trailed kisses down to his jaw and to his tender neck. I licked and sucked on the delicate skin where his pulse beat before biting down. Jasper gave out a small hiss of pleasure and his body rocked beneath mine. I moved to different spot on his neck and bit down again while sucking. This time he emitted a small moan.

"Shit," he said beneath his breath as I became aware that he'd gotten hard. I grinned mischievously. _I_ did that to him. _I_ made Jasper aroused.

And I'd never wanted anyone more.

I moved along to several different spots all around his throat, biting and sucking. I pulled back to inspect my handy-work and grinned. Jasper's neck was covered in dark reddish-purple hickies. He was marked as mine.

"There's no way in hell you're getting away with that." Jasper's expression was mirroring my own, I'm sure. One of his hands moved to the small of my back and his other hand flew to the back of my head as he suddenly brought me to the floor. He teased my lips with his own, brushing softly against mine but never quite kissing. Without warning, his lips flew to my neck as he began biting and sucking on the supple skin there.

I might've cried out a little bit.

His mouth moved all across my neck until it matched his, nipping and sucking on all of the right places: just above my collarbones, below my earlobe, the spot on my throat where my pulse was going erratic in response to his touch.

Jasper brought his lips back to mine for one last small, soft kiss before pulling away and gazing into my eyes. He was glowing, shining from within.

"Had enough?" he asked me with a slightly smug grin.

"Not nearly." I smiled back at him, making his smile grow even wider.

And that's when the vision hit me. The vision I'd had in the hospital when I'd only known Edward for a week. Him and a figure sitting on a bed together, laughing and smiling. But the figure had taken a shape. And I wasn't the least bit surprised to find that it had been Bella there with him all along. The thought made me smile. He was accepting it. He was letting himself fall for her. But the vision wasn't exactly the same. The vision took on a cloudy element, as if the room was filled with a light fog or... smoke.

I watched as Bella put a joint up to her lips and sucked in.

Holy frick.

That's not even something _I_ would've predicted.

I was brought back to the dim tree for then and Jasper's face was staring down at me once again. But his expression was now one of intrigue.

"What'd you see?" he asked. I smiled a little. He knew my "vision face".

"Your brother got my sister high."

"Uh oh," Jasper said, sitting up.

"No, no," I said as I knitted my eyebrows. "As long as she doesn't turn into some drug fiend I don't care. But," I sat up, too. "I think he's falling for her."

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BPOV

Edward groaned and stood up. "Damn it," he said with a resigned sigh. "Okay, fine. I'll play my damn piano." He stretched, the muscles of his shoulders and arms straining. I marveled at the sight of his naked torso. His smooth chest and stomach were defined into effortless perfection. His arms were strong and his bronze hair was stunningly chaotic. Every inch of him was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him. The grace of his hands, the slope of his nose, the muscular lines below his stomach that slanted down from his hip bones to the area below his belt - an area that I was suddenly eager to investigate. It took everything within me to not to throw Edward back down onto the bed and have my way with him.

And after today, I was pretty sure he wouldn't have objected to that.

But I'd told him that I would explain the story behind my tattoo, the abomination on my left hip.

He opened the glass door on the other side of the room and walked out onto his balcony. The waning sunlight that peeked from behind the clouds caused his pale skin to glow subtly. He took a couple of lengthy drags off his cigarette before flicking it into the air. When he came back into the room Edward grabbed his black t-shirt off of the floor and pulled it over his head. I was suddenly reminded of _my _very absent shirt. I looked around the room. Shit, where had I thrown it?

"Looking for this?" Edward was holding my black Ramones t-shirt out to me.

"Thanks," I grabbed it from him.

"By the way," he added as I slipped my arms through the short shirt sleeves. "Esme's home. Try not to act too stoned, Smokey."

"Esme?" I asked.

"My mother. I heard her come home when we..." He trailed off and I could feel the heat rising up to my face. He rolled his eyes and held a hand out towards me. "Shall we?" I took it and Edward pulled me off of the bed. And he didn't let go of my hand right away. Our eyes locked while my palm lingered against his. It almost looked as if he was trying to tell me something, as if the words were on the tip of his tongue but his lips refused to let them escape. But he released my hand then and turned to walk out the door.

We descended the staircase to the first floor without a word.

"Okay," he said as we entered the room with the exquisite grand piano. "Spill it." He sat down at the black piano bench and I took a seat in the large chair by the window.

"Play." I pointed to the piano and eyed him meaningfully. He sighed and lifted the glossy cover off the piano keys and began fiddling with them again. Soon, his fiddling turned into a tune, which led into a song, which became an all-out composition. I had no idea why Edward was so against playing his piano. Was it shyness? Or maybe nerves? Whatever it was, it baffled me because watching Edward's long fingers caress the ebony and ivory the way they did struck chords in my heart. Watching him play his guitar was sexy, but seeing him play the piano like he did was just downright breathtaking.

"No talking means no playing," Edward reminded me, still transfixed on the keys before him.

"Right," I said. "Okay." I took a deep breath to prepare myself. I was so afraid of Edward knowing the truth. I was terrified that he would think of me as "damaged goods". And then I spoke.

"When I lived in Phoenix, I went through a slew of ordinary teenage relationships. They were all the same. We'd hold hands at school. We'd act like we were so in love, even though we'd only known each other for a week or so. And I got bored. I wanted excitement. I wanted thrill." I hesitated, finally uttering J's name.

"And then there was... James." I winced. Edward missed a note. "I was sixteen when I met him. He was nineteen. He had this whole badass rebel thing going on. Wore a leather jacket, smooth with the ladies. Very Marlon Brando and James Dean. I met him at this party that Alice and I had been invited to. He was outside on the patio with five other people, making them all laugh. And then he saw me standing off to the side. So, he came over and started talking to me.

"James was very charismatic. As cliché as this sounds, he had me at 'hello'. So we exchanged numbers and the next thing I knew, I was on his arm at every high school party in Scottsdale.

"Things were good between us for awhile. James was everything that I'd felt like I'd been missing in my past relationships. He was fun, exciting. He used to like to take me out on his little Kawasaki motorcycle. We'd go riding at 90 miles per hour out into the country to go party at the sand dunes with his college friends. He was all into Motocross and wanted to ride professionally. And he had a way of getting me to completely abandon my inhibitions. He even convinced me to get his initial tattooed on me."

And then my tone grew bitter. "So I guess that's why I fucked him so soon." Edward missed a couple of notes again. I realized that I wasn't even looking at him. I had completely spaced out, lost in my memory. I focused on his face for a moment. It was slightly twisted like he was pissed, a crease between his brows. Or perhaps he was just trying to concentrate, I couldn't tell. So I continued.

"James was the second guy I'd slept with. He's the one who taught me all that I know when it comes to sex. But it wasn't too long after that when things got... weird. Whenever I couldn't go to a party with him, he'd get completely shitfaced drunk and text me twenty times during the night. And whenever I'd talk to a guy friend of mine, James would totally freak out and tell me that I wasn't allowed to see them. He even started going through my received phone calls and text messages to make sure I wasn't fucking around behind his back.

"Alice told me that if I didn't break it off with James that things were going to start heading in a real bad direction. I should've listened to her sooner. I tried to fix things between us, but it only got worse. He started driving past my house in the middle of the night to make sure I was really home when I said I was. He did all kinds of crazy stalker shit like that. So I tried to end it, but he always refused. I'd ignore his phone calls, which I got frequently. I stopped partying so I wouldn't run into him. He even showed up at my door a bunch of times. Renee had to call the police, eventually. So we had a restraining order put on him."

I bit my lip. This was the hard part; the part I didn't want to remember but could never seem to forget. Edward's beautiful hands caressed the keys even softer now, his song turning melancholy. "And you see that's where we fucked up. My mom was staying late at work one night. Parent-teacher conferences or something. It was a Friday. Alice and I were going to go out that night, so I was in the basement, throwing the clothes I planned on wearing into the washer. I heard the kitchen door open and I figured it was Alice. A minute later, I headed back upstairs. But it wasn't Alice who'd come into my house.

"James was lounging in the arm chair in the living room. He sat there all calm for a minute and told me that he wanted to talk. He said that things needed to work out between us, that we had to be together. I told him that it wasn't going to happen. And then he got pissed. He started yelling at me then, freaking out and saying that I didn't want to be with him because I'd cheated on him and found someone else, which wasn't true. And then started working himself into some kind of crazy-ass meltdown. And then he basically..." I didn't want to give Edward the gory details, so I went for a generalization. "James basically beat the living shit out of me."

Edward's playing stopped abruptly but his eyes remained transfixed on silent piano keys. He said nothing, so I continued.

"Alice ran to my house as fast as she could the second she'd had a vision of what he was doing to me. I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I were to say that Alice saved my life that day."

"So she kicked his ass?" It was the first time Edward had spoken since I'd started telling him my story.

"Well, you know how Alice is really nimble and like, retard strong?" He nodded in response, the faintest whisper of a smile tugging at his lips. "Well, I guess she just snuck up behind him and bashed him in the head with a wooden baseball bat. I can't really remember; I was starting to black out when that happened.

"When they took me to the hospital I was going in and out of consciousness. I needed seventeen stitches on the back of my head and my left wrist and arm were broken." I rotated my wrist around. As a result of my injury, my wrist felt no resistance when I moved it in certain directions, unlike most people. "I guess that's the one cool thing I got from that whole situation. My wrist is double-jointed now." I threw Edward a small smile but he was still staring down at the piano keys, unmoving. "Anyway," I continued. "That's the whole reason we moved up here. When Renee and Charlie started working things out, they figured that coming to Forks made the most sense. It would give both Alice and me a fresh start."

Edward remained silent. His stoic expression was somewhat alarming. I wanted to walk over to him and sit beside him on the bench in an attempt to break through that emotional façade of his, but I was suddenly afraid to move and disturb his internal preoccupation. So I drifted off and began daydreaming. I guess it must've been the weed. So when he finally did speak I was somewhat startled.

"Alice and Jasper are on their way back," he said calmly. "They want to watch a movie. I'll drive you guys home afterwards." In quick succession, Edward shut the lid over the black and white keys, stood up and headed for the staircase. Was that my cue to follow him? Unsure of myself, I stood up and walked behind him. We ascended the stairs and returned to Edward's room. I flopped down on the bed but Edward walked back out onto his balcony, grabbing his pack of cigarettes on the way, and lit another one for himself as he leaned over the railing.

"Go ahead and pick out a DVD. They're on the shelf," he said as he exhaled, his back to me. I turned my head towards the massive bookcase filled with an assortment of novels, c.d.'s and movies. I got up off the bed, went to the bookcase and scanned the titles. A lot of the music, books and movies I recognized. And they were all alphabetized. Huh, weird. I didn't take Edward for being an organization freak. And most of the books' spines gave the appearance that they hadn't been read at all. But it was the names that I didn't recognize that caught my attention the most. I'd always considered myself well read and knowledgeable when it came to good music and films, but Edward's collection rivaled mine own. I wasn't sure which of us had the larger collection. Most of mine was still in boxes from the move, so it was hard to tell. But this much I could say: Between Edward and me, the two of us could've opened up a halfway decent media library.

I grabbed a movie with a title that I didn't recognize; SLC Punk. It was between that and Requiem for a Dream, a movie that many people had told me to watch. Maybe Edward would let me borrow it, but his sudden mood swing told me that I probably shouldn't ask him today.

I put the movie in the DVD player and flipped the TV on. Edward was still smoking on his balcony.

And that was when I decided that I'd had enough of his random standoffishness. I sauntered over to him out on the balcony, leaning next to him on my elbows over the wrought-iron railing. He didn't respond to our close proximity. I looked up at his aloof expression and grimaced.

"Did I do something?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No."

"Okay," I responded. "Then if I asked you what was wrong, would you tell me?"

"No, probably not, but it's worth a try."

"What's wrong?"

He took a drag off his cigarette. "I don't want to talk about it."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, fine. I'll respect that. But since you're not mad me, can you hold off on being Mr. Passive-Aggressive Guy until I get home?"

He smiled infinitesimally. That was a good sign.

"Yeah, I can do that," he said. The wind picked up slightly then, making me shiver in my short sleeves. Edward flicked the ash of his cigarette and the white particles flew up with the wind in a flurry. Just then, Alice and Jasper emerged from the trees that lined the edge of the Cullen's backyard.

"Up here, guys," Edward called to them.

"Be up in a minute," Jasper called back.

"Where did they go?" I wondered aloud.

"They went to the tree house out in the woods. Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper and I built it when we were kids," Edward explained. He flicked his cigarette out into the yard and added, "I'll show you it sometime." I smiled at the thought. So that meant he planned on hanging out again?

Alice and Jasper were up in Edward's room a minute or two later. Edward and I sat on his bed while Jasper and Alice occupied the black leather couch by the bookshelf. I ended up really liking the movie, but what I enjoyed even more was the way Edward seemed to tense up during the couple of mild sex scenes. It was kind of cute, actually, how slightly embarrassed he seemed to get.

Edward drove Alice and me home afterward with Jasper in tow. Quiet classical music emitted from the Volvo's speakers as we all talked casually. Classical music? Edward never failed to surprise me.

Jasper insisted on walking Alice to the door, so I held off for a moment to give them some privacy. Edward turned to me as they walked the up driveway to the front of the house.

"Bella, you've got a cell phone, right?" he asked. I nodded in response.

"Why? Are you trying to ask me for my digits, Edward Cullen?"

He gave me the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful crooked smile. "Something like that, yeah." I grinned back at him and gave him my cell phone number. He gave me his in return. As we entered each other's numbers into our phones, he spoke again. "I'm sorry about that bullshit earlier. I'm not trying to make excuses, but you should know that I am a bipolar mother fucker."

"Yeah, I got that much," I said.

"And about what happened in my room..."

"What?" I asked. "You mean the pot-smoking or the dry-humping?"

He snorted out a laugh. "The, uh, dry-humping, I guess."

"What about it?"

He looked down and began twirling his cell phone around in his hands. "I just want you to know that you're my friend and I don't view you as some random bitch I'm trying to fuck. And I didn't purposely bring you up to my room so that I could try and tap that fine ass..."

"You think my ass is fine?" I quirked an eyebrow at him with a suggestive smirk.

"Please, Bella," he said, looking back up at me. "You know your ass is fine." My smirk grew from a smile into a huge grin that I tried containing without much success. He smiled back and rolled his eyes at me. "Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" I asked, confused and suddenly a little incredulous.

"Shouldn't I be?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know, should you be?" I knew that _I_ wasn't sorry. Not in the least. So why would he be? Did he regret making out with me? What the hell?

Edward pursed his lips. "I guess I'll have to get back to you on that."

"Whatever," I said, opening the door, grabbing my bag from the floor and removing myself from the car before he could say anything else to piss me off. "See you later, Jasper," I said as I passed him on my way to the front door. He was heading back to the car.

"Bye, Bella. See ya tomorrow," Jasper called from behind me. I trudged through the front door and slammed it with a little more force than was absolutely necessary.

"Easy on the framework there, Bells," Charlie said as I walked past the kitchen. He was standing at the counter, chopping up some green peppers.

"Sorry, Dad." And then I stopped. Charlie was cooking. Shit.

"Oh, good God, Dad," I said, dropping my book bag and running to his side at the counter. "What're you making? Here, let me help." I went to wash my hands before trying to assist him.

"It's fine, Bells. Alice here found me in here a second ago making a mess. She's running damage control now." I looked at the kitchen table behind us and saw Alice sitting in one of the chairs, observing. She smiled at me but once Charlie turned back to the peppers she mouthed "I need to talk to you".

"So, girls." Charlie said as he chopped. "Your mother told me you went to a friend's house today?"

"Yeah," I said. "We-"

Alice cut me off. "We went to our friend _Rosalie's _house." I quirked my eyebrow at her. "Trust me," she mouthed.

"Rosalie. Isn't she one of the Cullen kids?" Charlie asked.

"Yup," I answered. "That's the one."

Charlie shook his head. "She's about the only decent kid out of those four. That big tall one has more cannabis tickets on his record than all of the other kids in town put together. I guess that crazy blond one who wears girl's pants hasn't gotten into too much trouble lately." He lifted the cutting board and pushed the chopped peppers into a bowl before grabbing some portabella mushrooms and chopping those as well. "But the other one. Edward, that's his name." He shook his head again in distaste. "That kid's a piece of work. A bunch of disorderly conducts, nearly as many cannabis tickets as the big one and one time, about a year ago, he got taken downtown for beating the crap out of that Newton kid at school. Mike Newton, now there's a good kid."

Alice and I were trying desperately to contain our laughter. We glanced at each other, but that only made things worse. I'm not sure what was funnier: Charlie telling us all about how horrible the Cullen boys were or the idea that Mike Newton was a good kid. I hadn't heard that Edward had beaten Mike up, though. I'd have to ask him about that, if we were even still talking. I gritted my teeth together, remembering why I'd stormed inside the house the way I did.

"Umm, Charlie, have you got everything from here?" Alice asked as she slipped out of the chair. "Bella and I need to go upstairs and work on homework."

Charlie nodded. "Yeah, you girls go on ahead. I'll call up the stairs if I run into any trouble."

"Okay," she said as she grabbed her bag off of the table. "Just remember to keep the burners on a medium-high heat."

"Got it," Charlie said, scraping the chopped mushroom into the bowl with the peppers. Alice and I raced up the stairs to our room then. I flopped down on my bed and she closed the door behind her before joining me.

"You are a _very _bad girl, Isabella Swan," Alice chided.

"Umm, yeah," I blushed. "Oops."

Alice slumped against the wall and eyed me. "I don't understand what the deal is between you two," she said. "You obviously like each other. So why is it so hard for you guys to admit it to yourselves?"

"Well, I know what my deal is, but as for him," I sighed heavily and threw myself down onto my pillow at the head of the bed. "He's a complete mystery to me, Alice." I frowned. "Sometimes I feel like there might be more on his end, but other times he'll do a complete one eighty and make me feel like shit. It's like there's two different Edwards in the same body."

Alice patted my knee softly in a comforting gesture. "You know, he may not be a schizo, like the doctors keep trying to convince him he is, but Edward is one of the most bipolar people I know. You have to understand that."

"That's exactly what he told me when Jasper walked you to the door," I told her. "But that can't be an excuse for everything."

"I think you'd be surprised at how many things Bipolar Disorder can affect in a person like him," Alice said. "If you don't think you could handle something like that, then maybe it's for the best that you two aren't dating."

All of the air in my lungs left with a 'whoosh'. I sat up so abruptly that I was slightly light-headed. "Dating?" I choked the word out. "Who said anything about dating?" Alice put her hands up in defense.

"Whoa, whoa, wait. What do want from him? A long-term sex buddy?" she asked.

"Well, yeah, I guess. That's all we really could be because..." I shook my head. "I can't date. Not for a long time, if ever."

Alice sighed heavily. "Bella, I realize that situation last year was hard on you, I do. But you have to realize that not every guy is going do what that jackass did to you. You have to get passed that eventually."

"Why?" I asked her. "So I can get married? So I can live happily ever after in Suburbia with my bread-winner husband, a green minivan and three kids I can run to soccer practice with it? That's not me, Alice. I don't need those things."

"No," Alice said, exasperated. "But you should get past it so that you don't wake up one day when you're forty-five and wonder why the hell you're alone." She grabbed her book bag off of the floor then and pulled out her English notebook. "Now, I don't want to fight with you, so let's just drop it."

"Fine." I grabbed my bag off the floor and proceed to dump my workload onto the bed.

"Oh, one more thing." Alice hit me lightly on the forehead with her palm. "Say no to drugs, Cheech."

--------------------

I couldn't fall asleep as I lay in bed that night, though I was thoroughly wiped. Alice was snoring lightly on the other side of the room while the light from the moon shone through the window and casted eerie shadows in the darkened corners of our minuscule bedroom. Though we didn't talk about Edward and me the rest of the night, I'd thought about what Alice had said. And then I decided that even at forty-five, I knew I still wouldn't want to have an emotional relationship with a man. So what would I care if I was alone? It's not like I would be this big slut, sleeping with a new man every other day. I'd had a brief slutty phase after James and I had broken up, but I hadn't enjoyed it at all. I honestly wasn't even sure why I'd been like that in the first place. Perhaps I was trying to prove something to myself or to James by disrespecting my body like that, or maybe I just didn't want his dick to be the last one in me. But I didn't feel like staying single and having a little "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am" every once in awhile was such a bad thing.

And then my cell phone vibrated once on the dresser next to my bed. I had a new text message.

With a groan, I rolled over onto my side and grabbed the little white phone. Who the hell was texting me at one in the morning? But then I wasn't too shocked when I read who it was from. One new text message from Edward Cullen. I opened it and a large, sleepy smile spread across my tired face.

_"__**I'm not sorry. - E**__"_


End file.
